Tags:
  1. graveleye

    graveleye Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    362
    Location:
    Georgia

    "Making love" or....???

    Discussion in 'By Writing Form' started by graveleye, Aug 21, 2018.

    I don't read or write romance or erotica, but I have some sex and romance in my novel. My scenes are sensitive and I purposely don't go into saucy details just because it's not at the core of my story.

    Do the terms "making love" or "made love" or "love-making" seem dated to the younger generation? I was reading a forum recently where the term came up and the reaction was either laughter and eye-rolling, or some even found it creepy or gross. I was tickled by the conversation, but I honestly always thought just the opposite. I'm uh.. middle aged, but I don't really feel quite that out of touch.

    I know...now you're giggling too, but I'm serious lol. In my day, it was considered a fairly polite term for sex. More than that, it was when it was meaningful with someone you cared about. If it is just a steamy romp, then we have scores of other euphemisms, of which I probably know more than most.

    What say you, writers of the doing of the deed?

    tl/dr - Is the term "making love" creepy?
     
  2. CoyoteKing

    CoyoteKing Good Boi Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2017
    Messages:
    702
    Likes Received:
    1,422
    Location:
    Kennel
    It depends on context. To me, “making love” means a specific type of sex.

    Making love = sweet, emotional sex between people who love each other.

    Sleeping together = having sex.

    Banging = having sex.

    Having sex = having sex.

    Fucking = having crude/animalistic sex.

    Playing “hide the salami” = fun or lighthearted sex.

    So... think about what you’re trying to imply and how these characters feel about each other. To me, making love is what people in love do.
     
  3. graveleye

    graveleye Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    362
    Location:
    Georgia
    my thoughts exactly.
    So I wonder why some folks seemed to find the term creepy.

    I hope it was only a fluke because I've used the term a lot in my writing:eek:
     
  4. izzybot

    izzybot Transhuman Autophage Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2015
    Messages:
    2,464
    Likes Received:
    3,852
    Location:
    SC, USA
    I don't think it's creepy, but kind of cheesy, yeah. That's just my own personal connotation, though. I think it works fine in plenty of contexts.
     
  5. Carly Berg

    Carly Berg Active Member

    Joined:
    Jan 22, 2015
    Messages:
    248
    Likes Received:
    452
    It's not a term I'd use.
     
    Last edited: Feb 9, 2019
  6. Nariac

    Nariac Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2018
    Messages:
    541
    Likes Received:
    767
    Location:
    England
    I write in close third person POV, and one of my characters very much thinks of sex in terms of "making love."

    Her girlfriend by contrast thinks of it as "fucking."

    It's just framed by the fact that in their chapters we're residing pretty much in their head and experience things and think about them through the filter of that particular character's personality.
     
    Linz and graveleye like this.
  7. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    11,595
    Likes Received:
    13,259
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    People who think that there is no difference between making love and fucking have never made love - so says a character in my book Alpha Dog … he aint wrong
     
    inkslinger, Linz, graveleye and 2 others like this.
  8. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4,676
    Likes Received:
    8,170
    Use whatever term the POV character would use in that particular scene. What we think doesn't matter. It's about what the characters would think.


    added missing word

    ETA: Also, @graveleye doesn't your story take place in the late 80's? So, whatever the character who's doing it would say during that time period.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
    graveleye and jannert like this.
  9. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,220
    Likes Received:
    2,312
    Making love is cheesy and dated. I believe the kids just hook up.
     
    jannert likes this.
  10. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2016
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    3,480
    I'm within squinting distance of 50 and I don't use the term "making love" in my romances. It sounds very old-fashioned to me, like calling a condom a rubber. If Mr. Kelly asked me if I was in the mood to make love I think I'd fall off the bed laughing, so I can't imagine one of my characters saying it.
     
    Iain Aschendale and Cave Troll like this.
  11. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    14,103
    Likes Received:
    18,110
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    I don't use any verbal direction like that.
    Just have nature takes it's course.:superidea:
     
  12. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2016
    Messages:
    11,595
    Likes Received:
    13,259
    Location:
    East devon/somerset border
    So what's you're preference "Y'all ready to fuck lil lady ?" :D
     
  13. jannert

    jannert Super Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    12,803
    Likes Received:
    14,394
    Location:
    Scotland
    That's funny. If somebody asked me if I wanted to hook up, I'd assume they meant they wanted to meet me somewhere. I'm 69 years old. Hooking up, in my day, meant meeting up with somebody. "Let's hook up later, when we're both finished at work. How about Pizza Hut?" :eek:
     
  14. Mckk

    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 30, 2010
    Messages:
    6,159
    Likes Received:
    4,016
    Creepy? Gosh. I'm only 31 so hardly old, but now I do feel old lol. Making love isn't creepy. Cheesy yes, but not creepy. It's kinda what you might say if you were trying to be romantic, and there's definitely an audience for this level of cheese.

    My husband calls it "cuddles" :-D or other times just sex.
     
    LoaDyron, jannert, inkslinger and 3 others like this.
  15. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jun 5, 2016
    Messages:
    2,240
    Likes Received:
    3,480
    Yeah, usually some variation on that!
     
  16. graveleye

    graveleye Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    362
    Location:
    Georgia
    OK so there are indeed a lot of people who think it's cheese. I always felt it was polite.
    I'm laughing at these replies, but also having a hard time thinking of a tender, polite way to put it.
    "Having sex" meh.
     
    flawed personality likes this.
  17. graveleye

    graveleye Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    362
    Location:
    Georgia
    and yea, my story takes place in the 80s so I guess that was more of a term back then.

    At least it's not in the 70s when "making whoopee" was actually a term :eek:
     
    Cave Troll likes this.
  18. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Loved by a Sweet lady. :) Contributor

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2015
    Messages:
    14,103
    Likes Received:
    18,110
    Location:
    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    Why not use a subtler way of saying it that they both understand will lead
    to sexual congress?

    My ex-wife just used to have a tone and ask: "Bed?" Alt. "Bedroom?"

    "Whoopee" is still around these days.


    Here is a list of slang terms that may help you findsomething
    better than making love. :)
    http://onlineslangdictionary.com/thesaurus/words+meaning+sex,+sexual+intercourse.html
     
  19. CoyoteKing

    CoyoteKing Good Boi Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 25, 2017
    Messages:
    702
    Likes Received:
    1,422
    Location:
    Kennel
    Haha!

    I do think “making love” sounds romantic, which can be cheesy (or creepy) under the wrong circumstances.

    If you ask a girl at the bar to “come make love at my place,” that’d be cheesy... and maybe creepy.

    If it’s your ten-year anniversary, you’ve had a lovely dinner, you’re sharing a bottle of wine with your husband and/or wife, and you gently take their hand and ask them to come make love with you...

    Well, that’s cheesy too, but also cute and romantic.

    I think “sleeping together” is the most neutral and polite way to put it. But again, it’s about context.
     
    Shenanigator likes this.
  20. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin Spitting .45 caliber grammar.... Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    4,666
    Likes Received:
    7,894
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    I always liked the term "screw." It's a little off-color but still PG-13. You can say it in front of kids, grandma or at a church picnic, but is just naughty enough to get the point across. It's also funny to say, in my opinion.
     
    Shenanigator and Cave Troll like this.
  21. graveleye

    graveleye Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2017
    Messages:
    247
    Likes Received:
    362
    Location:
    Georgia
    "sleeping together" is a nice way to put it. Ironically, in my experience, the sleeping part was overrated though. :rolleyes:
     
  22. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 7, 2016
    Messages:
    3,220
    Likes Received:
    2,312
    I would be careful if anyone under 20 asks you to hook up. LOL. Also, chill means sex. The kids say they are going to watch Netflix and chill which means hook up which means sex. Oh, the joys of raising a teenage daughter. She is forbidden to hook up and to chill. None of that under my roof. Man, I am so old and uncool. ;)
     
    graveleye, jannert and Carly Berg like this.
  23. jannert

    jannert Super Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    12,803
    Likes Received:
    14,394
    Location:
    Scotland
    Chill? Chill??? Oh, no. They're wrong. Can't be. Chill is the opposite of what I hope happens when I have (had) sex. Chill??? Aaargh.

    Actually people here in Scotland tell folks to 'chill' all the time, and that's definitely not what they mean. Is nothing sacred.... :eek:

    So a 'chill pill' is either a contraceptive or viagra?

    No no no....
     
  24. Alan Aspie

    Alan Aspie Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2018
    Messages:
    1,773
    Likes Received:
    1,900
    Chill out, Jannert, chill out...


     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
  25. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Has the Vocabulary of a Well-Educated Sailor. Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Sep 17, 2017
    Messages:
    4,676
    Likes Received:
    8,170
    Chill has several meanings, depending on the context and who's saying it. They're actually not that far off, though. "Netflix and chill" actually means "Netflix and relax and whatever happens happens." So, a reasonable expectation, but no guarantee.
     
    jannert likes this.

Share This Page