I'm just merely asking for your thoughts on this. I've had mixed feelings about it already. MC was married to his wife for about three months until she was killed. They were both 18. By the end of what I want to be a series, I want the MC to end up with his late wife's little sister (she will be 18, and she's only two or three years younger than the MC) So, that would mean the MC's late wife will have been gone for a couple years by this point. I realize this could be done distastefully, but I have every intention of making sure it is not distasteful. What do you think about this? If it makes a difference, the only one in the late wife's and sister in law's family that will know is their baby brother who will probably not have a good memory of the MC being with his oldest sister. (He was only 9 when she died)
Not too young to be implausible, just not a common occurrence these days. Unless your book isn't set in the modern day?
It’s modern day. The MC and his late wife didn’t have anything to lose really by getting married at 18. And, MC doesn’t have any family that cares about him. They both wanted to marry so they did.
I think it'd be weird, the sibling in law thing would be somewhat unusual but the timeframe between the death of the wife/sister and the remarriage is rather weird, maybe give them more years to mourn and get over it properly???
Um no. No, they did. 18 years olds are not adults, they are not ready for marriage. They are barely ready for a serious relationship. Making that kind of commitment at that age is likely to end badly. Adding the extra element of the wife dying, and then the husband remarrying fairly soon... This is all very questionable to me. I would make them all at least a few years older, and also put an extra year or so between the marriages. So he's lonely and isolated? Such that he might want to get married just to avert this? Such that he might get easily attached to people? That uh helps.
Regarding age, all you need to know is that it's rare today to marry at 18. Even during the 1800s, I think the average age of marriage in England was 22. Getting married at 18 doesn't mean the marriage is doomed for failure. As for marrying your sister-in-law, it's not illegal. Taboo to some? Yeah. But you can't control that.
Is this all nice and emotionally healthy in real life? Probably not. Is it too shocking to be in a book? No.
I don't see why you would want to complicate things with this uncomfortable weirdness though, unless it's absolutely necessary.
Oh, I was assuming that it was a part of the landscape of the novel, rather than an incidental detail. Novels are very often about (or partly about) complicated weirdness.
My sister had a baby somewhat by accident when she was 19, and she and her boyfriend (the baby's father) moved in together shortly after. Skip ahead 20+ years, and they're still together, and still happily married. As for the guy marrying his in-law sister, I'm all for it. If his wife was still alive, it could easily be a bit weird. But considering she's dead, it makes sense that the MC and his sister in law bonded over the loss, and it's not too weird they could start to get feelings for each other. But as TC say, it has to be tasteful. I've read too many stories where romance, or just sex, is thrown in for no good reason. One of the worst examples was a guy having sex with a woman on a regular basis. Then she didn't want to anymore, so he had sex with another woman instead. Next morning, he didn't even understand why his so-called girlfriend was pissed at him. He's the reason her sister got killed, so why wouldn't she be? But she forgave him anyway quickly enough. Oh, and as for that other woman? She hated the MC though the entire story, other than this one night. And by the of it (literally, in the epilogue), both wanted to date him. It was just ridiculous. Don't do stuff like that, kids. Dating your sister in law because you have a lot in common, and your wife is dead, is fine. Dating her because your wife is dead, and your sister in law is next in line... not so much.
Please don't take this as being rude, but I'm not asking about the fact that the MC and his late wife got married at 18. That happens in book one. At the end of book one, she dies. I'm just asking what you guys think about the MC and the sister in law ending up together. Also, to add, I'm not quite sure when the MC and the sister in law would get together. I know she'll be at least 18. I don't have the dates worked out that far ahead, as I'm only on book two and I want this to be three books. I do know that they wouldn't be married until the end of the last book, and even then, I don't know if I will actually write them getting married. I plan on having an epilogue, and it might just be mentioned there. I do think there will be at least a hint of them getting together at the end of book two, though.
In some cultures, it is expected if the husband passes that the wife would then marry the next "brother". Just saying that it does exist out there.
I think this was even a plot point in Game of Thrones. Ned only married Caitlyn because his brother Brandon who was engaged to her was murdered.
I would think it's actually kind of likely that something would happen between them given that they already have an established relationship and considering they both lost someone close to them they could easily turn to each other for support. Definitely a year or two. The rule of thumb for mourning and break ups is half the time the couple were together, though this is different for everyone. And if you put the start of the new relationship too near the end of the old, it always raises questions about whether or not stuff was going on between these two before they were officially together. Just know that being it a relationship with someone that was in a relationship with a sibling can carry some pretty specific baggage.
This is the only part that would make me feel moralistic. Not that you can'd do it, but if your goal is to avoid raised eyebrows at the characters, 18 strikes me as too young for her to make a good adult decision when this decision is so fraught with emotion. I'd be totally comfortable if she were, say, 22.
Some 18 year olds have an incredibly good head on their shoulders. Some 18 year olds are unusually grown-up or wise in some areas of life (relationships, work ethic, financial responsibility) but lacking in others. Some trends change by culture or economics. But aside from all 18 year olds not being identical, people don't always make the best decisions, even romantically. Even at 22, or 42. *I appreciate we're talking about averages and patterns and expectations here. Sometimes the exception can be fun to write about, and knowing what the norm is can inform you on what the outliers are.*
The age of 18 is how old most people are when they graduate from high school. I know lots of classmates who got married right out of high school. And many of them are still married—including one who was a close childhood friend of mine. It's young, but it certainly wasn't unusual when I was that age (in the late 1960s.) Especially among graduates who weren't college-bound. As for marrying the younger sister after the death of the wife, I think that's been done before as well. I don't think you should have any problem with it, provided there isn't a suggestion of underage sex prior to the marriage. Go for it.
Having been an 18 year old with a supposedly good head of my shoulders, a strong work ethic, etc. I can only say that I really regret most of the relationship decisions I made at 18. Mostly because I literally had no idea who I was, personally, and a large part of that was because I had only been out of high school for a couple of years and really hadn't had to opportunity to explore myself without it, and my family's, soul stifling influence. Even for mature people, there's a huge difference between 18 and 20.
Sure, it's possible to have a mature work ethic and at 18 be more financially responsible than most adults, but not know yourself or what you want in life and make poor relationship decisions. I am abysmally bad at relationships. Probably worse than any autistic person. (Hyperbole Warning, Hyperbole Warning) The opposite is also possible, where an 18 year old can have a poor work ethic or not be good at saving money, but be a wonderful spouse and parent and friend. That was mainly my point.
No, my pal had a Facebook full of prostitutes and spent over £3000 'looking for love' on the sex lines. Take it back.
That may well be true. However, it doesn't mean early marriage isn't done. I can't speak for young people today, but it wasn't a big deal for our generation at that time. I worked with a woman who got married at 15, with her parents' consent. She was still married 15 years later, with a daughter who was in high school herself, and a younger son. She was happy, and said if she had it to do all over again, she would. Her husband was a little bit older than her, but not much—a year or so. They had both been in high school when they met, and she was pregnant when they got married, but they truly were in love ...and it worked. I am totally against even a suggestion of child abuse, but young, sexually active people do fall in love with each other, get pregnant, etc, long before they are fully mature. It's been going on for centuries, and probably will continue to do so. I don't encourage it, but I don't condemn it either. As long as it's consensual, I guess it is what it is. Young love. I think 18 years old is the legal age of consent in most places. So I don't think that one is even controversial, as far as the OP's story goes.
Being a successful young breeder I always maintained a prejudice toward the elderly parents in their thirties. No time for changing a [the] philosophy.
