Meanest vs. Nicest

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Lavarian, Jun 7, 2009.

  1. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    My kids are the best! Well as far as I am concerned anyways. :D :p :D
    I honestly believe that life would be pretty... horrible without my two little angels in it (and the one that will be here in November!)
     
  2. Azhigher

    Azhigher Active Member

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    Meanest: You're DANISH? Like the PASTRIES!?!?

    Nicest: Priceless

    (The second one needs some explaining, explaining I care not to give at this juncture)
     
  3. hiddennovelist

    hiddennovelist Contributor Contributor

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    Well, now I'm curious.
     
  4. Azhigher

    Azhigher Active Member

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    I'm afraid I cannot indulge your whims fair forum frequenter. My most sincere apologies.
     
  5. CDRW

    CDRW Contributor Contributor

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    Wow. It's one thing to have a deadbeat dad, but saying that kind of thing is inexpressibly evil.

    Now you know what happens when you make the audience ask questions but don't give out any answers? You get LOST, that's what. You wouldn't want that now would you?
     
  6. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Translated from Hinglish-as accurate as I could make it.
    Nastiest-You know what? You’re nothing but an attention seeking whore who lives in her own parallel world. But I guess I have to take my hats off to your intelligent stupidity. You live in a world where you’re popular and liked by everyone. Bloody victim of Identity Disorder, that’s never going to be reality as long as girls like me exist. as said by my “supposed” best-friend.
    Nicest-After a day of sweaty, tiring football with the gang, all I need to see is you, and it’s like I’ve just woken up. Meet me in 12 years. I’ll say I love you and marry you that instant. my ex-he used to be a sweetheart, until the person mentioned above turned me against him. My fault I guess. Maybe I will drop my bags on his doorstep 10 years from today. You never know.
    Corniest-Are you an alien? You look like a girl, you even talk too much-like a girl. But it’s actually nice to listen to you speak. I had no idea what to think about this. It was a teacher(male) who said this
    Weirdest-
    1.Your looks are mirror cracking material a friend said this. No idea if he meant it as an insult or a compliment lol
    2.Because you don’t act like a girl and you have passable musical talent, you can come with me to New York. We’ll beg together. :rolleyes: I went WHAT? But I never did find out more of his plans, a few days later we had a cursing match, got real dirty and I broke up with him. And yeah, he was just a friend.
     
  7. Lavarian

    Lavarian Contributor Contributor

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    Hey now, you said you'd never tell anyone about that! :mad:

    only kidding, folks...
     
  8. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    lol Bobsers...it was someone younger than you...only 2 years my senior :p
     
  9. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Sad thing is that there are so many children out there with fathers just like him... I think what hurts the most isn't what he said to me, but the fact that in the end, my children are the ones that have sufferred and will do for the rest of their lives.
     
  10. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    No. If they ONLY had parents like him, they would suffer their whole lives. But they have you, and now Dan, to show them they do matter and are loved. They will come to realize that he-who-shall-not-be-named is the abberation, and that it does not reflect on them at all.

    Have faith.
     
  11. SilverRam

    SilverRam New Member

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    You're amazing, Torana. I agree that children shouldn't be talked about in that way, I think people who look at it that way are quite selfish.

    Hurtful things that I wish to tell are things when I've overheard family members say "What is wrong with her?"

    Nicest things are the times when my mom is amazed at what I try to achieve at my age, and that I don't need anyone to be happy.(When talking about romantic relationships.)
     
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  12. chandler245

    chandler245 Banned

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    I agree as well. No child should ever hear there parent say that, I was adoptied. So I guess they didn't want me at all. Instead I got one better a brother who cared for me since day one, a father who loved me no matter what, I was his child. and a mother who loved me before she new me. That is family. my family.
     
  13. burned_out

    burned_out New Member

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    Wow. He kind of sounds like my father.

    I was an unwanted kid, and apparently, its still the same today. He told me yesterday. Oh, and my grandmother called me trash.

    Greeat day!
     
  14. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I tend to ignore, and even forget, the mean things said to me. They invariably say more about the speaker than about me, and they really aren't worth remembering.

    That doesn't mean I ignore all negative remarks, though. You can tell meanness from criticism. And criticism can be a teachable moment, if you let it.

    There were some very mean people in my life. My stepfather was one. I only had to suffer him about three years. Not long ago, I learned that he died a few years ago, as a bitter, lonely old man whom no one wanted to be around. You reap what you sow.
     
  15. Gurari

    Gurari New Member

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    I don't usually remember garbage comments b/c it's really not worth it, but this one stuck with me:

    I overheard my college roommate talking to his buddy when he thought I was asleep one night (this is one year after 9/11). He said, "We should just nuke those ragheads."

    I'm half Arab...I didn't respond at the time, but I don't know, I still wish I'd said something to try and educate him a little. It's hard to get people who can think of those type of derogatory comments to see the light.

    Conversely, I had an experience at my highschool that was on a similar topic and was very touching. I'm also half Jewish (weird huh? religious background is technically jewish, christian, and muslim, so you can just call me the middle east conflict all neatly packaged into a *cough* handsome mug...)

    Anyway, I attended a discussion hosted by a reporter who had recently come from the West Bank and was describing his experiences and taking questions. My high-school was predominately Jewish and I'd gone to this event with an Israeli friend who had recently migrated to my town. The types of questions that the American Jews were asking the reporter were pretty upsetting in their ignorance and outlook. That's not to say that all of the questions asked fell into this category, but certainly the majority. The tenor of their questions sought to further espouse a hateful attitude, to confirm that they were right in believing what they believed in rather than working constructively to build a better future for all peoples of the land.

    I was visibly getting upset the longer that I stayed, but my friend from Israel came over from where she was standing and put her hand on my shoulder. Here was someone who knew better than any of us other kids in the room about life in Israel, and she was coming over and comforting me. I still remember it as one of the most impacting gestures I've experienced.
     
  16. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    Bigotry is always ugly, and founded in ignorance.
     
  17. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    I sympathise with you. I've had the racial thing happen to me or some of my relatives so many times that I tend to ignore it basically but there were two times of my life I just couldn't take it.

    One time happened just last year. My friends and me were just having stuff in China Town, when a foreign couple came and sat on the table next to us. Even before they ordered the criticism started. Every single thing...from the chairs to the waiters and even the food and how the prople were eating they made fun of. But what really got to me was when the woman said..."Bhartiye people, they're so downmarket." The man said, "Yeah, shou've gone to Hawaii like we originally planned. I hope we don't develop become like these have by the time we go back home."

    My friend was already shaking her head, telling me not to react, but I was past all reason by that time. I paid the bill and while going out said to my friend, very loudly and in English(we'd been conversing in Hinglish upto that point). You know I'm so goddamned proud to be a bhartiye. I mean, I'd never be so rude as to go as a visitor to another country and then start looking down my nose at everything".

    The other time was, when we sent the offenders on a wild goose chase, but that makes me look bad so I'm not sharing :p.

    Needless to say, it sucks...come on! We're all Homo Sapiens, nothing more nothing less.

    At least I'm a brahmin. I pity the harijans because of all they suffer.
     
  18. rory

    rory Active Member

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    Neha, you are my hero.

    I don't remember anything being directly said to me that was mean, it's more of people beating around the bush and coming off really insulting, whether they meant to or not. I try to just shrug those off best I can, but they can be really cutting and hurtful. But like Cogito, I do keep in mind some criticisms, because you can learn and improve yourself from those.

    On a positive note, several people have told me that I'm a good influence on them, that I make them want to be better people. I'm always really happy inside when my friends say that.
     
  19. ChaseRoberts

    ChaseRoberts New Member

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    [After trying to find out why I was so withdrawn and upset, and why there were police phoning for me, and then finding out it was because I was attacked at a party] 'Well, you must have led him on. What did you do?'- My mother, one of her many 'motherisms' which have become legendary, and will one day appear at the bottom of calendars for all and sundry to giggle at.

    'You'll make a great nurse. I wish I could adopt you'- a patient who had resisted the care of every other nurse on the ward and was a notorious pain, but somehow, I got through to her, and she rewarded me with this. The best and nicest thing I've ever had said to me, and in direct conflict with my mother, who said 'you? A nurse? I've never heard anything more ridiculous in my life'

    - N.B. by this time, I'd perfected the art of 'smart comments' back. She got told there was something more ridiculous than that- a chain smoking, pill popping alcoholic health professional like herself. :D
     
  20. StraightChompin

    StraightChompin New Member

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    Mean: "You may aswell give up, you're going no where fast with your life" - Stepdad
     
  21. Carmina

    Carmina Contributor Contributor

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    I think the worst things I have read on this thread are the things said by parents to or about their kids.

    Chase...that is seriously f-ed up and I want to hit your mother in the face and tell her she asked for it.

    Straight...I hope your mother at least supports you...jerk stepdad
     
  22. Unsavory

    Unsavory Active Member

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    I hate getting into these things because I relive them when I type them, but I think the worst came from my dad and wasn't directed to me. I had recently asked my younger brother about some writing he'd worked on recently but had quit, and I questioned him as to why. My dad must have taken my questioning as offensive and I overheard him telling my brother that I was picking on him because I don't have any talent.

    Nice things are sadly harder to remember. My fiance probably has the top 10 and then maybe something from my grandma after that.
     
  23. Mercurial

    Mercurial Contributor Contributor

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    Even though sometimes the mean things said to us hurt, I think I hold on to them for a reason. They sometimes make me better.

    For someone so stuck on being self-proclaimed 'intelligent,' my Algebra 2 instructor sure spent a lot of time having irrelevant and honestly very stupid conversations with obnoxious and very unintelligent and lazy people in the class. The class was aimed for remedial algebra 2 students --It was my first time taking the subject; I took it to get ahead...

    He refused to 'help someone as stupid as me' by letting me come in early or stay after class to ask questions and denied any attempts I brought in for extra credit. 2% more and I would have passed with a damn C... (I have to take the class again in a few weeks. :mad: Oh, and by the way, guess who my instructor is? The very same.)

    "You'll never amount to anything," he said on more than one occasion as he handed back exams. "Why havent you dropped out yet? People like you dont deserve degrees."
    I went back to him when I took Precalculus, which at my school is what is known as "Algebra 2 on drugs" and left my grade report with a B for the semester in Precalculus with a little note that read, "Those who cant, teach."
    I'm going to get an A this time around when I take the course. Not because I'm concerned about passing the class (if I can pass precalc with a B, I can definitely pass a lower level class with an A), but because I'd just love to shove it in his fat face.

    Negative comments like that sometimes make me a much stronger (if vindictive) person. :) I love to prove people like him wrong.
     
  24. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    That's a good way to separate the valid criticism from pure meanness.

    Your teacher is an ass. That is no way for a teacher to speak to a student who wants to improve. If a teacher ever spoke like that to child of mine, he or she would be before the school board before the echoes died down.
     
  25. Mercurial

    Mercurial Contributor Contributor

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    That he is.
    He's also very old --> tenure. Almost all of our math instructors have tenure --> terrible math department. In fact, the only math teacher I've ever had who didnt have tenure was my precalculus instructor during my junior year, and she was the only math teacher I've ever liked.

    Go figure. :rolleyes:

    I am not pleased.
     

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