1. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Meeting the parents

    Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by deadrats, Jan 25, 2017.

    So, I'm kind of seeing someone and meeting their parents for the first time. If that's not enough, the person I'm seeing has told them all about how I'm a writer. While I feel like a complete fraud on the inside, how can I come out looking good without lying assuming the topic comes up? It's been a while since I've met anyone parents. And I think the person I'm dating thinks I'm far more brilliant than I am. Has your writing ever come up in a situation like this? What did you say about it? Also, I'm trying to figure out just how it might come up. The parents are big readers. Don't even own a t.v. I'm pretty nervous about the whole ordeal.
     
  2. 20oz

    20oz Active Member

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    Lie.

    Tell them this is you: http://www.goodreads.com/author/show/22159.Jessica_Park

    Or your preferred author.

    EDIT: Tell them you're overly ambitious that the skillset you have is not up to par of what you want to accomplish. Tell them it'll be BIG. Best seller level. Classic level. They'll teach it to literary students for centuries to come level.

    EDIT 2: Hand them a short story or novel excerpt. Say, "This is just a taste of what's to come," and then wink.

    EDIT 3: Don't worry about it. You're a writer, put your imagination to the side. If it comes up, tell them the truth. As long as you have a job, they won't think you're a louse or less than your worth.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2017
  3. OJB

    OJB A Mean Old Man Contributor

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    I don't support lying.

    You can say "_ (Whatever your GF's name is) is too kind. I am working through my first novel as we speak and hope to have it completed sometime this year."
     
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  4. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    'Mommy, I'd like you to meet Deadrats.'

    'Hello Mrs Shitzpah...how do you...'

    'Deadrats is an inspirational writer, Mommy, a literary sensation. I devour every word he...'

    'Do you now...'

    'Yes, his short stories...'

    'Tell me about your stories, Deadrat...'

    'Let me say Mrs Shitzpah, you have a wonderful sister, hah hah, hah hah hah.'

    'Worm.'

    'Fuck.'

    'Scuse-me?'

    'I got a B for my assignment?'

    'Tell that to the general. Honey, honey, Deadpig is at the doorstep.'

    '[Distant]Fetch my god damn rifle...'
     
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  5. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    It's just that I don't have another job, and I've kind of been in a dry spell. I'm worried about looking foolish or not being taken seriously.
     
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  6. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    You'll be great. Don't worry about 'the writing.' Be your amusing and generous self, bring a sparkle to the table - they will watch their daughter or son watching you - and probably tell you about the moment thirty years later. All the while you thought they hated you.
     
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  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin Get off my Balzac... Staff Contributor

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    I'd give 'em the "aw shucks" routine... works every time... Or tell 'em you're too fucking stubborn to quit doing it, that's what I tell people all the time...
     
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  8. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Aunt? Supporter Contributor

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    "Really, I just transcribe what the voices tell me to."
     
  9. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Aw bless you. I would vote for talking about books - what do the parents read? Do you share any favourites? Got any funny or annoying book to film adaptations you want to rant about? (making sure they're in agreement with you, of course) I would probably steer away from my own writing for now, unless you have anything published, and talk about what inspires you :D

    Anyway, take a deep breath. Don't worry, they're just interested in you. Truth is, with parents, they either like you or they don't - there's usually no neutral and it's usually not got much to do with what you're like. Enjoy your time there, be yourself. If it's meant to be, even nasty parents can't stop you two lovebirds. And they'll probably be quite nice :bigwink: they usually are in the first meeting!
     
  10. Dynasty

    Dynasty New Member

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  11. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    Why do you not want to tell us the gender of the person you are dating?
     
  12. Shadowfax

    Shadowfax Contributor Contributor

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    If the person you're dating DOESN'T think you're more brilliant than you are at this stage of the relationship, it's not going to last.

    If, after 40 years (and counting) she still thinks I'm more brilliant than I am...

    Be honest. The out-laws will either love you or hate you; unless you're the scumbag from hell, or they're the Uptights from Uptightsville (with Great Expectations of the style in which you can keep a partner), the fact that their child has chosen you is first strike to you. Just don't insult them, smile a lot, show that you care for their child, and you're home free.
     
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  13. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    So mr deadrats why did you chose a career as a writer

    I got really interested in writing after taking a creative writing course in prison

    Prison ?

    Yeah I was in for dealing coke...

    ...well more like whole saling..

    ...and assault...

    ... and possession of a machine gun...

    ... but it was all a misunderstanding really, anyway you have a lovely home...
     
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  14. A man called Valance

    A man called Valance Senior Member

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    Don't worry about looking good. Just be your humble self and tell them you're an aspiring writer, if the subject crops up. Good luck.
     
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  15. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Thanks, guys. I'm just super nervous.
     
  16. Robert Musil

    Robert Musil Contributor Contributor

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    Maybe bring up religion and/or politics, that oughta do it.
     
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  17. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Turn up in a Trump 2016 tee shirt ... if they are trumpists they'll love you, and if they arent you can tell them its ironic, what with you being an artist :D
     
  18. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    LOL. I couldn't date a Trump supporter and would not get along with anyone who is one. But from what I understand that should not be an issue. Man, that would really suck if it was.
     
  19. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    I hope I come across much better on paper than I do in person or I probably have no business being a writer. I sure do seem to have trouble pulling off cool or even normal in person.
     
  20. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Welcome to the human race - outside of Holywood portrayals hardly any of us are normal or 'cool'
     
  21. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    Can't you just tell him/her that you find it difficult to talk about writing, and would appreciate their help in steering the conversation away if it comes up? They know their parents (I hope) so would be better placed to do it.

    I feel your pain. I find it really hard to talk about fiction writing with strangers, or even friends to be honest. Luckily I have a writing day job so I try to steer it to that instead...
     
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  22. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

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    Just be yourself. Unless the person you're seeing has put you on an unrealistic pedestal and told them you're a bestselling author, just behave as you would with anybody. You have recently received an MFA in Creative Writing, you're working on how to make that work for you in real life. That's good for starters. They may well ask to read some of your stuff, though. I'd say you'll have no problem with that aspect of your encounter. Just offer to let them read a couple of your best stories. They are readers, so it should do the trick. If they live without TV, etc, they are obviously not mainstream folks. So you'll be fine. I imagine they'll be impressed more with talent and potential than 'success.'
     
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