Men, please don't write women this way

Discussion in 'Character Development' started by Lea`Brooks, Jan 1, 2017.

  1. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    Yeah, okay..
     
  2. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    I'll have to think about 'authorial intrusion.' Would like to see a section from @Wrey and maybe examples of 'authorial intrusion' to mull over..
     
  3. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    "Tevin was woken by the sun streaming through his slatted blinds and caressing his manly pecs. Stretching he lifted his arms upward causing his pecs to flex and his six pack to tighten. He swung his legs from the bed stomach rippling like an alligators, and donned the tightest T shirt he could find, pulling over his ridged, hard, muscles like a second skin. Squeezing his manhood into his jeans he strutted across to the stairs and Flexed his way down them chest pulsating in rhythm with his tight toned buttocks"
     
  4. Iain Sparrow

    Iain Sparrow Banned Contributor

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    You hit it on the head!
    When was the last time you read a sex scene, in any genre, that was in any great way realistic to your own experiences?.. I can't think of many that I've come across that feel authentic. In real life, sex is so much more clumsy, and oh the stupid things we say before-during-and after all the grinding.
     
  5. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    This may just be you :superlaugh:
     
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  6. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    In my current WIP if a woman gets naked, you'd better f'ing run.
     
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  7. Villion_

    Villion_ New Member

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    This desription is so serious, if the seriousness keeps on afterwards as the story progresses, it will be irresistable.
     
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  8. Lonely Shadow

    Lonely Shadow Member

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    I'm so amused. This is hilarious
     
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  9. Ghost Reflection

    Ghost Reflection Active Member

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    This has been a highlight, and I find it somewhat therapeutic. It was such as work of genus.

    There are times when I feel like I'm minding my own crap, looking for something engaging and fun to read, or watch for that matter, then all the sudden I'm forced to be witness to someones junk. It's a real mood killer. Then some fool is like, no one forced you. Good grief! This is why I only read history books and field reports these days. All I'm asking for is a warning system, like this next paragraph is rated BS. I'm not asking for a halt to the nonsense, just a better warning system please. Ok, I'm done. Thank you for sharing this.
     
  10. rktho

    rktho Contributor Contributor

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    God didn't write the Bible. His prophets did. And Song of Solomon is not inspired scripture, according to my faith.
     
  11. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    The only time my characters are gonna get naked is when they're bathing, and even then I won't direct your attention to their privates.
     
  12. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    They have sex whilst still fully clothed ? Well I guess that when you can't wait you really can't wait :D
     
  13. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    That's a whole genre of adult entertainment.
     
  14. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Yeah but your reader will imagine them in as lurid and dirty detail as they please, regardless. :whistle:

    Hmmm, probably best you don't even write any scenes where female characters are naked. Just in case.
     
  15. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Yeah, but they're all naked....under their clothes!
    <giggles a little, wipes sweat from upper lip>

    Sorry, had to be done.
     
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  16. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    Dammit, I'll have to re-write the opening scene of my sci-fi! It opens up to her stepping out of the shower and ruminating on her mission to chase down a rogue space commander.
     
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  17. halisme

    halisme Contributor Contributor

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    You're naked under your clothes? What the hell is wrong with you?
     
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  18. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    <bursts into a song>
    I'm not wearing underwear today!
    No, I'm not wearing underwear today!
    Not that you probably care much about my underwear,
    Still nevertheless I gotta saaaaayyyy....
    That I'm not wearing un-der-wear
    TOO-DAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!
     
  19. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    I didn't say I was. It's turtles all the way down in the Aschendale wardrobe.
     
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  20. halisme

    halisme Contributor Contributor

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    No respectable person wears turtles. Tortoises are the correct answer.
     
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  21. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    I've got a tortoiseneck sweater and turtleshell glasses...
     
  22. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    Sounds completely gratuitous. Why is she stepping out of the shower of all places? What's the purpose of that? Why isn't she stepping out of her futuristic hover car while ruminating on stuff? Or walking her futuristic hover dog? Or eating futuristic hover breakfast?

    And @Iain Aschendale has the right idea; perhaps instead of skin she should have a lumpy crust of an exterior. I mean, is there even any need for her to be human?

    The possibilities are endless!
     
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  23. Link the Writer

    Link the Writer Flipping Out For A Good Story. Contributor

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    That's actually a very good point. I think my employer and co-workers were on to something when they caught me writing that opening during my lunch break and concluded I was writing a space erotica.

    Let's see...what else could she do besides stepping out of a shower...
    • Going over her notes.
    • Overseeing the final preparations for takeoff from an Earth colony.
    • About to go to bed with a book and a glass of wine, as per her evening ritual.
    • Having a few laughs with her crew in the mess room.
    • Feeding her kittens.
    • Talking to her sister via hologram and catching up on events on Earth.

    Good idea, I'll scrap the shower scene entirely. I don't want my readers going into this thinking it's a space erotica.

    EDIT: She's human because that's how I imagined her to be. :p
     
  24. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

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    I was being cheeky there, but all right, if you think something else works better, go for it. :)

    Personally, if my vision of the beginning of a book was of the MC walking out of the shower, I'd probably write it because it's still a little edgy, you know? At least it grabs my attention better than something that does not include nudity. :D

    I like the idea of her having a laugh with her crew in the mess hall. Could be fun and allow you to introduce other characters, foreshadow, or show something important about their interpersonal relationships.
     
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  25. 123456789

    123456789 Contributor Contributor

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    If you were writing a movie, I'd definitely open with the shower.
     

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