Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

So in other words, I should just go ahead and write those stories without deciding right off the bat that they're gonna fail?

 

If you think you truly have a problem, then maybe you want to spend all your time and resources in fixing that first?

 

Absolutely.

Anxiety is just fear. Fear is just a feeling. It's not proof. It's not a guarantee. You don't know that your stories will fail. So what's the worst that could happen? Yeah, maybe your stories fail. But you know what you accomplished in the process? You tried. You didn't let your anxiety control you. You pushed past it and gave it your best effort. That's really all we can do, right? Because there are no guarantees in life except eventual death. It's what you do before that that counts.

Don't let your fear of failing turn into a fear of living.

 

Thank you, both of you.

This was just the same old anxiety about writing that's haunted me for 12 years. And it's no coincidence that it's been 12 years -- 12 years of me not writing because of fear of failure.

Well, I think we know what happened now don't we? I suppose we're all in a win-win situation because regardless of whether or not we get our story (or stories) published, regardless of how successful they may be...the fact of the matter is, and should be, that we sat down and wrote a story from beginning to end.

 

My father could explain it better than I can, but I'm not about to go ask him, because then he'll get suspicious. But anyway, if my memory serves me correctly, all of our vehicles are insured under my father's name, and I pay what I owe to him monthly. It's something like this, but at the end of the day, all that matters is that I don't get the points.

And I wasn't choosing to commit an offense in hopes of not getting caught. Yeah, if you want to be semantic about it, you can say that "putting the cop in the position of making a choice between writing you a ticket and not writing you a ticket is your fault, even if you didn't intend to", but at the end of the day they have authority to use discretion via spirit of the law, not letter of the law, and that discretion is beyond my control.

It is for this reason that majority of my encounters with police have ended with a warning. Because most officers understand that even your most law-abiding citizen will make mistakes, and they don't want to tarnish your good record by nit-picking one incident.

That being said, I just hope that the judge will be understanding. I've got no plans of arguing the ticket; I never have, because the officers have always been in the right with me. I'll admit responsibility and beg for the mercy of paying more money to keep the points off my record.

Cheers moose!

 

I'm now worried about the idea that your insurance company may not know that you're driving. What if you have an accident? Are you not covered? I believe that insurance is a pretty absolute legal requirement.

 

I think I just suck at explaining it haha. There's also probably something I don't understand about the situation.

I do recall my dad specifically saying it is important to not get any points on my license, because our insurance company does not know I'm driving yet. Maybe I misunderstood him. He also said something like "we've never switched insurance companies since you started driving, and our current insurance company has never felt the need to check if you can drive, even though they know you live here and that you're 18."

A quick Google says, "In order for insurance to cover an accident when the insured is not present, there will need to be comprehensive auto coverage. The facts of each such case definitely matter. If the driver is a relative, then most likely the absent insured's insurance will cover the accident."

But I do know that the car insurance for all of our vehicles is in his name. That's why I have to pay my father every month. And I do know that regardless, it is integral I do not get the points on my record, so that my insurance does not go up an astronomical amount for one mistake, which was the mistake of not clearing frozen water completely off my car.

 

Wow, that's ridiculously and unjustly harsh! Yes, the system here is admittedly much more relaxed by comparison.

And the reason why the rate would go up, is because insurance companies here vary the rate based on who is driving. Specifically they look at age. Individuals under ~23 are seen as high-risk and considered "new drivers", therefore they feel obliged to raise your rate.

It isn't a reasonable increase.

So, if our insurance company finds out I'm driving, on-top-of additionally receiving two points, they'll have a field-day extorting as much cash from us as they possibly can. It would be a double-whammy.

Therefore, avoiding the points means also avoiding the insurance company knowing. I don't think it's against their terms; it's their job to run audits and check. We're under no obligation to tell them "Hey, we should really be paying you guys more money than we already are!"

As for whether or not it is wrong to avoid intentionally shooting me and my family in the foot by not going out of my way to tell the insurance company that I drive (when financially things are already tight enough), there is no objective answer to that.

Hope this makes sense, but if you've got other questions out of curiosity please shoot me a PM, would be more than happy to have a chat!

 

I appreciate your concern. The choice isn't mine. I'm just keeping in line with what my father would like, which is to pay less for our insurance.

It's a matter of moral subjectivity. Personally, I wouldn't blame anybody for not wanting to pay more than they have to. If the insurance company thinks they don't have enough money, they can run a background audit, update our information and charge us more. Until then, I wouldn't demand anybody shoot themselves in the foot, especially if financially things are a little tight (as is my case). I don't encourage the breaking of vague "catch-all" rules either, however. If they want to drop our family as a customer after a decade-long relationship over one break in the terms and conditions, that's their prerogative, as likely stated by the policy.

As for a public record online, I've no reason to believe they'd ever find this, much less know who to trace it to. They're an insurance company, not the FBI. Like I said though, it's been a good chat, and thanks for the concern!

Cheers moose,

-Foxxx

 

OK, this post might sound a bit messed up:

So recently I was browsing on Facebook when I saw a post on my feed where a woman posted a viral video of a bully beating the ever living snot out of his victim. The victim was either the woman's son, or the son of the woman's friend. These kids are 15 years of age at the latest.

Of course, an image played out in my mind. What was it you ask? The bully strapped to a chair while a phlebotomist pushed a needle deep into a vein on the top of his hand before injecting him with a solution that caused him to spasm uncontrollably, gasp for air before falling limp in the chair. Dead. All while his parents are forced to watch while their captors say, "This is what happens when you fail as parents."

WTF!? I realize that to create good villains, you have to allow yourself to explore the darkest, most depraved level humans can go...BUT I WASN'T EVEN BRAINSTORMING A VILLAIN!!! This just came out of the blue, out of complete randomness! D: What's worst is that this isn't even the first time. When I'm angry at something on the news, my brain conjures up an image of the perps suffering horribly -- under the iron grip of a supreme leader that looks vaguely like me with a sadistic look on his face. Animal abusers? Crammed into cages, fed raw meat and muddy water while onlookers gawk at them. Sexual abusers? Castrated with no anathesia. Bullies? Used as live lab rats for cruel experimentations while, yes, their loved ones are forced to watch. And yes, the 'scientists' in the image don't care if the bullies are children. Children doing horrible things like mass shootings? The parents suffer for their crimes and are usually publicly executed. These are the horrible images that flash in my brain and fester for a bit.

Again, all these appear when I'm not even brainstorming for a villain in my stories. I don't want to think about these images, even if they may be good fodder for villains, because they're so disturbing and make me wonder what kind of a person I really am. Am I mildly psychotic or something?! Was I a Nazi in a past life or something?!

I don't even know where to begin. O__O Even if I had wanted to use them as villains, I don't even know what story they would belong to and...and why they would do it. I'm just so disturbed by these images that I want to forget them.

Help. D:

 

Intrusive thoughts. It's a thing. It's a very common thing. It doesn't mean that there's anything at all wrong with you. It's not as if you're taking real-world actions to make these things come true.

 

Yeah man, I'm fairly certain almost everybody gets them. More a part of human nature, than it is something to be ashamed of or worried about.

 

Yeah. If anything else, it's good fodder to brainstorm villains. If I just knew where and what story they should fit in!

 

My anxiety has been acting up lately. More specifically, my food anxiety. I've been having trouble eating and swallowing, even liquids. Then tonight, the hubby and I went out with some of his coworkers for a Christmas dinner, and I made the mistake of having a glass of wine, which only makes my anxiety worse. So now, not only am I having food anxiety, but I'm getting brain freezes again. I worked through them the best I could, but it still isn't fun. Hopefully tomorrow that part will be gone, and I can work on getting my food anxiety back under control.

 

I always feel paranoid and anxious during the winter more than other months, and with that depression, so I'm a bit scared about losing my friends or doing something stupid this winter. Too bad my parents won't let me take meds.

 

I'm struggling again. It feels like I'm posting that in this thread every two weeks or so now, which doesn't really help and just makes me feel worse for putting my problems on other people. I can't really talk to my family about it, both because they aren't really skilled at helping and because I've always struggled with talking about my feelings with people I know. This, combined with all the enforced cheer of the season has left me just, done. Done with so many things.

 

@halisme Ah yes, the enforced cheer, bloody amazing when you're working in retail, got to have that smile etched into your face.

Last week, on thursday, I went to the doctors because on sunday I had a really bad day. Like looking at the river and thinking it was awfully tempting to take a dip bad, which has been the worst I've ever been. So on thursday I went, the GP was surprised my appointment hadn't come for the clinic, and then asked me was I really serious about taking my own life. I don't know mate, I don't want to die, because that would ruin everyone else's lives, and I've got lots of I think about doing, plan to do, so I don't think so really. I can't help thinking though, that I'll feel like this forever which is something I really can't stand for much longer. The GP then decided this was time to look at anti-depressants, even though I shouldn't really be prescribed them at my age so he began looking for ones appropriate for my age.He found one, but with my heart condition it wouldn't work, as would most anti-depressants it transpires.
Soooo this all means I've only got one choice, therapy. I went for cognitive behaviour therapy which made me worse, so I don't really know what else they would try. And the GP concluded in saying, you've got to wait. Been doing that for months now mate.

 

I used to have this real old, and real big bath tub. It always sticks out in my memory because I used to always wonder, about just lieing there and letting the water run. I never actually attempted anything, for similar reasons as you state but those thoughts where always there, in the back of my head. I don`t really know what to say, therapy...i`m not gonna say it doesn`t work but there`s of different approaches to therapy hell most therapists are different. It may take a while to find what works, and progress can take time with any therapy. Give it time, you might make some progress or in the very least maybe identify some thing that could help you. I know saying that doesn`t really do much but I don`t know what else to, just as someone who`s been in a similar situation I just really hope you find something that helps, I really do.

 

Largely off topic on my part, but I'm one of those "solve the problem" people: We've embraced those day-of-the-week pill holders. I rejected them when I only saw the huge ones big enough for a daily pill buffet, but then we found bitty ones.

 

@big soft moose I'll take a pass on the CD at least, I've tried that when I was younger and it drove me batty. I'll try a book maybe