Mental Health Support Thread (NOT for giving medical advice, or debating)

If you have a pedometer in your phone, clock or whatever machine, it can motivate a bit.

I started by noticing that in one year time my mean per day was less than 6000 steps. So I started by trying to getting most days above that.

And if I can keep under 6000 step days away, my mean starts to rise. It rises slowly witch is good. Slow start helps to elevate motivation + build a habbit.

Then I started to notice what kind of effect walking has to anxiety and stress.

https://www.writingforums.org/threads/ways-to-deal-with-stress.161486/

The effect of pedometer and building motivation + habbit slowly. Steps per day.

November 2017: 4684 ==> 2018: 5125 (+9%)
December 2017: 5395 ==> 2018: 8700 (+61%)
January 2018: 5197 ==> 2019: 6682 (+29%)
February 2018: 3548 ==> 2019: 9 043 (+155%)

As you see, the start was very slow. But it went up. And it was quite easy to get it up.

And after I noticed what is the connection between step number and getting stress down, it became easier to get some 10 000 - 16 000 step days now and then.

I don't know does this work with you or do you have any kind of pedometer, but think about this.

And if you want to, you can do this without pedometer, just by paying attention to distances. Not so easy, but possible.

 

If you had an ED-209 to walk, you would be all set.
It seems they like to walk (just not stairs), and are
really good on a leash.

 

I admit it. I am depressed. Again. Not sleeping well, not eating well, not doing housework. Crying often, not going out, and barely even opening the curtains. Just want to give up on everything.

 

How did your trip to Arizona go? Was it helpful for you? Did you enjoy yourself?

 

It was good. He's even lovelier IRL than online, which I didn't think was possible. It was good to get a break from everything here. I felt so much better there than I do here. Wish I could've stayed. I won't be back until Christmas, and it's a long way away.

 

Is that part of what's making you feel so down at the moment, do you think? If so, that's really understandable. Damn. It's not much fun being stuck somewhere, when you're pining to be somewhere else.

 

something i've been thinking about lately. I've forgotten this thread was even here until i saw it pop up in my alerts....

is it ok to send someone with mental health issues out into the world alone? I dont mean anything negative by this question.
my little sister, who has attempted suicide in the past and spent a week in a mental health facility on suicide watch; who is clinically depressed and on medication; who might be manic (she goes through weird mood swings... screaming and angry one moment, crying the next, to a void of everything..... but her doctor just thinks its just teenage hormones); who relies on us to get her out of her slumps (if she's left alone, she will literally lay in bed all day and spiral down into depression again); who doesnt cope with change very well....

well, its about that time for college applications. she wants to go far away for college. My mom shut that down really fast, saying she isnt ready to go states away. However, the city where I live is a college town and has a big university. So when she visited me recently, I signed her up for a campus tour. That way, she'll be going away to college like she wanted, but she'll have me there in the city if she needs me.
But i'm still worried about her. I know I had a hard time socially in college without being depressed, but i could handle it. She gets depressed when a friend chooses to hangout with someone other than her (she then says things like "i'm not good enough" and "why dont people like me?" and "i'm destined to be alone...")

Is it a good idea for her to go away to a big university knowing all her triggers... or could this be a good thing for her to be out on her own?

 

I miss everything there. With him is where I feel at home.

 

Are you able (or do you have plans) to make that happen? I hope so.

 

In theory, yes. In reality, IDK.

 

Well, that sounds enigmatic! If it's a matter of logistics, engineering a move, new job, etc, of course you can do it. If you have other concerns about whether this move would be a good idea or not, that's another issue. Probably a good idea to wait till you're more sure of the situation. (You'll never be 100% sure, by the way. There is always an element of risk in these kinds of situations.) But if you can make the move, and you want to make the move ...then start working towards that now. It's always a boost to know you're working to get something you really want.

 

Due to my situation with my 2 year old being in the care system here (ROI), it would be him moving here. Just an issue of 2-3 more years long distance, and me having to earn either £18,600 or 40,000 euro per year, depending on if we choose Northern Ireland or Republic of Ireland to settle in.

 

Choose the Republic! Looks like the rest of us will be out of Europe by the end of this month. I have rarely been so angry at a government in my life.

Seriously, though, I thought he lived in Arizona. ???

 

He does.

 

I don't know. It depends on how alone she'll really be, I think, and your relationship with her.

We have a friend who has a similar issues, who was institutionalized a couple of time. When that happened, we'd visit every couple of days, bring books, stuff like that.

The sad thing was, we were the only people to visit. Not just to visit them, to visit anyone in that facility. All those people, who needed help so desperately, where alone.

Your little sister doesn't seem to be that alone: she has you. College life may be a challenge for her, but it sounds like you'll be there to help.

It won't be easy for either of you. It may take a lot of your time. Be ready for that, be sure you have the time for her, before you make this happen.

Good luck. You'll never do anything more important in your life than helping someone who needs you.

 

You can't keep her safe forever, even though I know you want to.

I am wary that her doctor thinks it's just teenage hormones. Mania and hypomania have specific sets of criteria to be met, and I suggest you look into that. She should see a psychiatrist to clarify her diagnoses, but what you are describing leads me to think you should read https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml

That said, I'm not a psychiatrist, and I cannot judge your sister based on a few paragraphs of information. I just want you to look into it, because what her doctor thinks is concerning to me. Some physicians, older physicians in particular, have certain views of psychiatry which are not helpful to their patients. Be her advocate.

The things you are worried about are things that will have to be addressed at some point. She is going to reach a point where she can decide she wants to live away from home, and then what will you do? Clarify her diagnoses. Get her some therapy. Look into CBT and DBT. There are self-help workbooks online if cost is an issue. She needs coping skills regardless of whether or not she is going to school locally or afar, especially if she is going to succeed.

 

It`s spring....finnaally. Ok it`s not spring until the 20th but it`s close enough ok. There`s barely any sun in this permanent rainy season town anyways, but the dark and dreary winter is not me at my top performance. Not to mention I`m kinda a shut-in hermit during the winter glad to be able to go out and do things now. Planning out projects as we type. Still working on fitness, being more healthy, taking vitamins, and etc. To feel better, mentally and physically and due to the fact that every man on my mom's side has had diabetes so far so wising up and trying to avoid that. Hopefully, being able to go outside, and not having the extra strain of shoveling will help. Was gonna start running, try to do a 5k maybe until I found out how much money signing up for that costs. Trying to do what I`m always trying to do set up routines, coping skills, and just get ahead. I`m coming, I look at everything and get on myself for only slow progress but progress is progress and it`s not gonna be quick. As much as I want to conquer everything right away and be done with it, and as hard as I am on myself that`s not how it works.

Had one therapy session, felt....iffy on the guy but it`s one session first ones always awkward. Procrastinated making the second appointment and got a letter about my insurance booting me. Maybe, that's what it sounded like but now it seems like they ...may not have? Makes me want to bang my head against the wall. Just trying to force myself to improve, and it's so needlessly complex. Trying to deal with my anxiety and the insurance and the building the guys in (massive Shinning vibes) gives me even more anxiety.

I am going to do it though. Working hard on setting habits and routines and not just being in bed all day. Fitness has been just vitamins, and push/sit-ups right now but hoping to evolve that. Getting a job....is coming I`m applying, I have an opportunity with a carnival I just need to accept but traveling...don`t think I want that. If I don`t find something locally ...we`ll see. Looking at ways to supplement income too. Working on setting up a garden and getting into more creative things to. Trying to pace and not overwhelm myself but...feel like I had shut down for a long time and not taken a lot of opportunities in things I would`ve loved...and there`s this need inside to play catch up now that i`m shaking off the numbness. To compensate for everything I didn`t do.

I`m 21...thats young all the years ahead of me...logically I know that but.... I`m a college drop out...no work experience...nothing to my name...I leave everything unfinished... I keep trying to fix things but now....I worry maybe my chance has passed me by, that it`s too late. I know logically...that`s not true but....illogical thought still...

It`s Spring, you're gonna do good in spring. Don`t focus on the big future from now to next fall. Plan for that period, don`t let your mind drag you to far in.

Kinda turned into talking to myself there.

 

You are not sending her out into the world alone. Staying closer to home may still be the one you want to encourage still giving her a safe option where she can get what she wants and still have you to lean on is good and probably one of the best things you could do. If she's old enough for college she`s presumably at or close to legal adult status and things get tricky there. She could fully well decide she`s still gonna do it and legally could, it`s better if that scenario occurs that your near her than say cold turkey. I agree with Reece, on the doctor point. Not to contest what a doctor says clearly we aren`t but even among medicine there are differing views on mental health and its a tricky thing to diagnose. Tons of things get misdiagnosed for over things, have overlapping symptoms, and etc. Hammering down a diagnois, the psychiatrist, and etc are all good things to consider. An official diagnosis can sometimes make accessing needed resources and acomadatoins easier. As for borderline personality disorder....that`s what my mother has and what you described does sound similar but there`s overlap in a lot and can`t say. I can say my experience with my mother. She has borderline, agoraphobia, and PTSD along with depression and anxiety. She can do really really well when she`s trying and with therapy, coping methods, and etc shes stable and functioning. It`s possible just need to work on it, and keep trying. Where she gets into trouble (mother) is she has a habit of...not trying. Blowing off therapy, filling prescriptions and just storing them never taking any (looks like we live in a drug den), unhealthy or no methods of coping with things, and etc. I don`t bring this up to imply your sister will do that, I hope not I hope she`s able to kick ass. I bring it up because as her son it taught me something. The situations tricky, when someones an adult you have really limited power to force them to do anything even if it would be for there better good. Both practically and legally. There`s a lot you can`t control, and peoples actions are a big one. Sometimes all you can do is make sure you're there to support and take care of them when they need it, and to be ready to help them get whatever help they need/are willing to. It`s terrifying and can feel like you're powerless but as long as you're there for them as much as you can be that`s all you can do.

My own experiences. I went to college...it didn`t work out. I kinda want to try again but, that`s a lot of self-discovery and money down the road. I get into these loops of extreme depression and anxiety I can`t get out of. I wasn`t ready, I didn`t have the right coping skills, and I made a mess of things. I regret it, but I think in a way it was good. Gave me the chance to go "I need to do this and learn how to do this" and do that before I can go back out there. Sometimes we need to fly a bit out to see, if she soars that`s great if her wings melt a little bit that's ok big part of stepping out is learning where our limits are.

I don`t think her going to school near home is a bad idea, still probably a very good one but if she does go to school elsewhere hopefully it`s near you and you just need to be able to be there to encourage her and support her and let her learn what she needs to learn. I would get in touch with the school she goes to see what the mental health resources they have are and etc.

 

21? You write with the soul of a centarian. Listen to me. (as I sit on my 55 yr old fat hermit ass, eating chocolate, and getting fatter) At 21? All you need to focus on is your state of being. See the therapers. Above all, see a psychiatrist. The field of diagnosis has advanced beyond society's comprehension of it. All the more reason to seek a psychiatrist out and get a concrete answer, then follow the doctor's reccomended treatment. I once thought myself a hopeless case, it's never true.
I sincerely, desperately, hope that someday people will stop trying to deal with everything on their own - we aren't alone.
We just need to quit acting like it (me too).
Got you on Follow. Got my eyestalks on you. Keep us up on how yer doin!

 

I was diagnosed with Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder-Borderline Type, 7 years ago, when I was 25. I've been in very rough spots over the years, and have been in hospital a few times (mostly related to suicide attempts). I was sectioned once, and kept under observation for 2 weeks. I was assessed nearly 3 years ago for sectioning, but was sent home. I wasn't feeling suicidal, or acting dangerously or anything. I was simply distraught because my baby had been taken away, and I had been arrested, despite not breaking any laws.
Today, I have minor issues with housework and sleeping patterns, but I am very happy and contented in my day to day existence. I don't take any medication, and I am not suicidal. I do occasionally feel low, but it doesn't last very long and it's nothing like I used to get. I haven't attempted suicide in over 8 years.
I regularly attend my mental health appointments, where I see a psychiatric nurse who checks in with me, and provides me with coping mechanisms. Ironically, I don't need them these days. I have become far better at just letting things go, and not dwelling on them. I have supports around me, and I go to a few groups each week. I am trying to plan some kind of future that involves my daughter, me having a job, and developing my long distance relationship.
There is always hope.

 

(Ps: Thank you it`s appreciated)



Some good insight into my day to day there. Pretty good video though.

I`ve mentioned it a few scattered places here before but I volunteer my time at a community arts center most weekends-have been for the past six years- there`s this guy who comes in and does a Broadway show tune karaoke thing. The crowds never big but the people from the theater department of the local college and actors from the local Shakespearian troop come down and do it and it`s something to see.

I`ve always had a close connection to music and a habit to connect and relate it to things in my life/head. Still wasn`t expecting to go into my thoughts tonight. There`s two songs that did that.



This one, ...this one reminded me of my stepfather. A very respected person, a charmer, a really likable guy, and a very abusive person. Abusive mentally and physically to me and my mother, a family that hated him and us and made that quite obvious, and it was just not a good situation. He died..after a long bout of illness where I took care of which is an interesting set of emotions itself...and just going through the motions of the funeral...that song made me think about that especially the way it starts off. In the context of the musical Connor had possible mental health problems which complicate the emotions and relates it more. He had a neurological disease that was affecting the brain, so part of his actions may have not really been him but there`s no way to know when it started, where the line is, if we ever really knew him, and more that was found out about his past more of a pattern stitched from over his whole life. A lot of hard questions and complex emotions there all of which I didn`t take well, took me a long time. Tonight, the song got me thinking about all of that but not...in a spiraling way,not triggering anything just remembering and contemplating. Idk maybe I`m dealing with it better now, come to some sort of terms I`m not sure.



On a different note. This is the big line(s) here. "To days of inspiration, to playing hookey, making something out of nothing, the need to express-to communicate,to going against the grain,going insane, going mad, to loving tension, no pension, to more than one dimension,to starving for attention,hating convention, hating pretension,not to mention of course,hating dear old Mom and Dad, to riding your bike midday past the three-piece suits, to fruits,to no absolutes, to Absolute - to choice, to the Village Voice, to any passing fad, to being an us for once ... instead of a them!"

I don`t know, just made me think about why I connect with art and athe art scene so much. When I first moved here six years ago, I wasn`t in a great place being fres from the sitouaion above, it still did it`s toll and that took time to mend but looking back. I feel like if I hadn`t been involved with the arts center and just in the local art scene doing things if just minor things it could have been a lot worse. Bohemina took me in and saved my soul, gave my something to relate to, a means to create exspersion, kept me busy, helped me process, exposed me to so many things, and was just there.

All kinda random but. It`s three past, should really get some sleep.

 

"I'm watching you Wazowski, always watching. Always."

That's awesome about supporting the arts - especially with your time, which is priceless!
Have you tried acting in a play? Just to have fun being as awful as possible? Yippee!

 

That video. I related to that, particularly the part when she went to go to sleep. My mind is great at that part. Don't sleep, stay awake worrying about a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j instead. Especially d, f, g and j because we can't do jack shit about those things! Stress, panic, it all helps the turmoil, thus getting you farther from sleep than you ever thought possible.

 

Some interesting videos.

Had a good week there, of building/keeping to routines. Kinda haphazard but it was good. The week after (this past week), was not so much. Was an off week, may habitats kept up for the most part though. Was an interesting week an off week for sure and a semi-bad one mentally but I still got some projects finished/started, kept my routines up, worked a sold out standing room only show at the arts center without a problem (big self-esteem boost), and other good things. Did let things slip though that I shouldn`t have. Missed an interview opportunity because I wasn`t checking my email or phone one day because...I just wasn`t. Just not quite as I had planned it which isn`t a bad thing just something my mind can tend to get hung up on. Sunday and Monday...I woke up with intentions to work at things but zero energy to do that. I did get some things done Monday, sawing tree limbs mostly but still. Today`s better on the energy, pretty good day. Not moving mountains but getting the bulldozers gassed up to speak.

Some of the causes for last week were the job hunt burning me out. The mental exhausting act of interviews themselves and also none of them sounding too promising. Haven`t actually gotten any calls back, but even before that, they all had problems. Transportation being the main one, that and hours but the problem with the hours still was transportation. Perils of relying on public transit that stops running earlier than the hours of the business. However, there is a promising one at a screen printing shop. Day time hours, more on the creative design side, right downtown, and my main focus right now is trying my best to get that job. It`s the best option right now. My fathers 87th birthday would have been that week as well. That stirred up both emotions and distant family drama.



A song that always reminds me of my father.

Trying Camp Nano this year...again. One of the worst parts about being a anxious depressed ball of human emotion is the flakiness and never finishing things. I`ve started Nano`s before never finished one, making good headway with building habitats thought it`d be good to use the camp to help build a writing habitat as well. Haven`t really started yet just now setting things up today.

On the topic of habitats my coding habit...did good got to the end of CSS (basics
but haven`t started the next chapter yet. Need to do that, been considering tweaking the habitat maybe I should just stick with what I have.

Anyways found this in my Camp inbox this morning.

This, I relate to this. I even remember when I had that one appointment with the therapist that I still haven`t gone back to he mentioned even generalized anxiety leads back to something a fear of something that's ingrained. I remember thinking mine was probabbly failure, fear of failure. Trying to not let that keep me from getting started.

and as I`m typing this I get a call about an interview. So things are looking good.

Cutting this post a bit short as I have other calls to make but here`s to getting started, vanquishing fear, establishing habitats, and the type of like I want.

 

Thinking I may have found my calling to help me keep fit: doing charity walks.
I'm signed up for Darkness Into Light on 11th May, which is 5k and I was told about a 10k event in Dublin in June.
I'm tempted to throw my hat into the ring there too, but we want to raise money for Women's Link in Longford. Problem there is that they aren't on the list of causes to fundraise for...so far. We'd need to find out how they could be included, and then go from there. But I like the idea of getting away for a weekend to do another charity event. I don't exercise and I'm not into sports, but walking I can and will do for hours.