Im frustrated. Spent most of my life as a cinematographer/editor/director and now trying to write several scripts to produce but I can never finish due to falling short with plot. I can build characters, write great dialogue, create great beginning, middle and...well fall flat on ending. So I have an idea brought to my attention about a news story (no doubt made up) of scientist drilling into the earth to listen to tectonic plates moving. Instead they capture the screams of what appears to be screams from thousands of people burning or being tortured. So I though what a great thriller this would make. So with my visuals of Steven Spielberg and story telling of Steven King this is what I have: Opens with character in mental institution. This guy survived a mental breakdown deep in the mine after hearing the screaming voices. The mine is been closed for years. He is interviewed by unknown subjects who want to go and investigate the mine. They somehow get him to go with them as a guide. The mine is in a West Virginia abandoned mining town (for thrill factor). There is an old preacher who lives in the town and broadcast 24/7 on an am station telling of the coming wrath of God. So the team eventually get to the mine. HELP! Ok now where do I go from here. What happens once they explore the mind and hear the screams. What's the plot? Where do we go from here? Any ideas? Im going to shoot a short film version of this first. Brian Johnson [link removed]
Welcome to the site! Basically, a story comprises of Events (What happens and How it happens) Plot (Why one thing happening leads to another) Characters (Who) Setting (Where/When) Motivation (Why you want to write the story in the first place) You already have Characters, Setting, no Plot, and some Events but not enough. Have you been trying a logical, step-by-step progression to figure out what would have to happen after what you've already figured out, or have you been trying to brainstorm a bunch of ideas for trial and error, only for all of the ideas to end in "error"? Whichever you've been trying, maybe try the other one.
Well, what kind of thrill are you looking for in this thriller? Spiritual? Demonic? Monsters? When I hear anything about mines, my first thought is usually wendigos these days, mostly thanks to Until Dawn. Maybe look at the whole underground fire phenomenon in Centralia, PA, for some science-y inspiration. Centralia is definitely my favorite mine-gone-bad story.
The easy twist is that the guy from the mental institution actually fell into hell and never left. A more interesting twist could be that he is actually the devil who broke free of hell when miners drilled into it. He poses as a man in a mental institution and leads the investigation team into hell. Either that or the investigation team make up the four horsemen, and have come to save the devil from the hell that is our reality. When the miners drilled into hell there was a kind of...reality meld...and the devil was made mortal and went insane from all of our mortal thoughts and other shortcomings. The horsemen (posing as investigators) gently persuade the devil to go with them back to hell.
Stay away from any mention of the core. You simply can't deal to the core, the majority of our planet is liquid. Most people forget that. Rock gets too soft to drill into at about twelve miles (the soviets did it.) I have a scientific background, the first thing I would do would be precisely determine where the sound was coming from. It takes four microphones and some pretty basic math. Once you've pinpointed the source, I'd then make a hypothesis based on its depth and location. We've heard lots of weird things in the time we've been listening to our planet. We've figured most of them out, like ice rubbing on the ocean floor or massive pockets of methane being released. Note though that the higher pitch a sound, the harder it is to travel though medium. You would likely never hear anything with the pitch of screaming, I'd make it a low moan instead.
You could also add a part where the investigators narrow it down to an odd coincidence of mine hardware, ground works and plumbing, and a natural phenomena of earth shifting or groundwater thermal changes (freezing and pressure maybe?) that together create sounds very similar to hell's arguments. After they dismiss the whole thing, someone starts to agree with the preacher when strange events occur, but the team of course are in a frame of mind that coincidence is wasting their time. This is a tried technique that works well because the reader/viewer knows there's more to the story and is kinda rooting for the underdog (which most people like to do). It's a fun way to make the reader/viewer feel like they're a part of the story. Kick it further with an interesting concept that Hell has haunted places of its own, and that's what they discover here.
A tall dark and handsome stranger dressed up in a mashup of gear (think Matrix and Hellraiser collabed on a clothing line ), and says this to the team of investigators: "Right...Where to begin. Hi. I am the Devil...um yeah this is a little awkward." (Uncomfortable long pause) "So anywho, about all that screaming the other day. Not to raise any worry or anything, though it looks a bit late for that. Well can't remember if it was Whipping Wednesday, or Flogging Friday? (Looks up trying to remember) No matter. Just to set the record straight, Hell is not the place you think it is. See we simply have a lively and eternally large community of the BDSM crowd. So yeah, come down for a visit if it is your fancy." (Grins sheepishly at the mortals with a shrug.)
