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  1. Ella_01

    Ella_01 New Member

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    Novel Mixing tenses within a book

    Discussion in 'Genre Discussions' started by Ella_01, Jul 21, 2020.

    Newbie confusion alert!

    I've tried searching for an existing thread that might answer my question, but I've not been successful - Apologies if I have missed one.

    I've noticed that the tense I use in my (newly started and first ever) novel - 3rd person - will sometimes change from past tense (most common in the story) to current tense, and I don't always realise I've done this until I re-read a section. When I do this, it tends to last for a few sentences, sometimes even several paragraphs, and the content can be either descriptive and/or dialogue.

    I'm not confusing my tenses in a given sentence, I'm just switching the timeline between immediate past and current as a scene unfolds, and I've no idea if this is acceptable or not. It feels like a natural way of writing to me, but I'm twitching now and questioning this approach all the time.

    I've tried to give an example below in case my question doesn't make sense (I note people are often asked to give examples for context), but please don't judge me on the content - I'm only a few days in on this!

    "No-one says you have to jump straight into another fully fledged relationship Kiki. Why not just have a bit of holiday fun?" suggests Lily.

    "What would that say about my willpower Lil? No, I have to resist the temptation. It’s not like I can’t control my conscious thoughts and actions."

    Lily suddenly nods towards the door and the girls seamlessly return to chopping as Jaz walks in, oblivious to the exchange.

    Then a few current tense paragraphs later...

    The boys arrived about 30 minutes later with meat to BBQ and handfuls of beer. There was no answer when they rang the villa doorbell, so they ambled round the building to the pool terrace at the rear. The girls had settled down on the villa’s beach loungers with rock music playing nearby.
    Having just added the above extract as an example, I've now spotted an earlier extract that might just contradict my statement t(hat I am not confusing tenses within a sentence)..

    Later that day, after relaxing by the pool, reading and listening to music, the girls freshen up and prepare some side dishes for the BBQ.
    “So how are you feeling about Jake, Kiki?” asks Lily quickly when Jaz heads down to clean the beach BBQ. It’s the first chance she’s had to catch up with Erica in private.
    Is that a grammatical mess?

    This evening I've read a number of threads on this forum that discuss participles and other grammatical terms that I am simply not familiar with, and I'm now wondering whether I should have done a crash course in 'Grammar for Dummies' or the like, before embarking on this journey. I was just excited to begin putting down on paper the story I have imagined for 4 years now.

    Thank you in advance for your guidance.
     
  2. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    There's no hard and fast rule that says you can't switch back and forth between tenses. You can. However, when I've seen it done it is something that usually occurs where is makes sense grammatically (e.g. a present tense narrative, where something described is in the past and the tense indicates it) or for some kind of literary/artistic effect that a writer may be going for (which is much trickier in my view).

    What concerns me about the above is you are doing in inadvertently, or at least subconsciously. To me, that's more likely to lead to prose that is going to confuse the reader or pull them out of the story. In your first examples, I don't see any reason for the switch to past tense when the boys arrive. What are you trying to accomplish with the switch? Why does it seem natural to write that sentence that way?

    In your second example, where they are relaxing by the pool, I don't see a problem with tense.
     
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  3. Ella_01

    Ella_01 New Member

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    Yes I can see it perhaps loses its effect when used too frequently.

    "I don't see any reason for the switch to past tense when the boys arrive. What are you trying to accomplish with the switch? Why does it seem natural to write that sentence that way?" The past tense is actually more common in the rest of the story (both before and after the extract). It's the current tense that seems to be the exception and frustratingly, I'm not sure WHY I change when I do - It's something for me to take away and consider and look for a pattern perhaps. As you say it needs a reason to do this and I understand the concern it may pull the reader out of the story if I don't gain some conscious control over it. Either that or repeat post editing to change the tense is going to be a drag, for sure!

    Thank you for the reply.
     
  4. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    As a reader, inconsistent tense is something that would drive me right up the wall unless there was a clear narrative reason (as @Steerpike pointed out) for doing so. In general I'm not a fan of present tense, so if I started reading a book that I thought was in past tense and it suddenly started switching intermittently to present I would toss the book on the DNF pile pretty quickly. I agree that a good internal examination of why/when you're doing this and finding a pattern if possible could be very helpful.

    Also, don't beat yourself up about not knowing a lot of grammatical terminology. Reading a lot of successfully published books can help you pick up a lot of the "rules" without necessarily knowing their specific names. I will never forget @Homer Potvin pointing out that my idea to do a time jump in one of my books and have one of the characters reminisce about it was something called a "narrative summary". Who knew?
     
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  5. Lazaares

    Lazaares Contributor Contributor

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    It really depends on whether you are mixing in tenses to make use of English's expressive capabilities or switching whole chapters. I can imagine mixing present & present perfect in a present-tense draft in places where a past tense draft would mix simple past & past perfect.
     
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  6. Sergeant Mirror

    Sergeant Mirror Member

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    The story I've been working on has ended up in first person present tense, perhaps I will change this in the future, sometimes it can be challenging
     
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  7. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Well, in a past tense story of course you're constantly switching to present for dialogue, because that's how people talk (if they're talking about what's happening currently). I wonder if you sometimes just forget to switch back to past for the narration?

    Also, I see no problem with this one: Later that day, after relaxing by the pool, reading and listening to music, the girls freshen up and prepare some side dishes for the BBQ.
    “So how are you feeling about Jake, Kiki?” asks Lily quickly when Jaz heads down to clean the beach BBQ. It’s the first chance she’s had to catch up with Erica in private.

    I mean, assuming it's intended to be written in present tense. Of course you'd switch to past perfect ("She's had a chance") because the narration is now about something that's already happened, referring back to the fact that until now, she hasn't had the chance. That's a correct usage of past perfect.
     
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2020
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  8. deadrats

    deadrats Contributor Contributor

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    Mixing tenses usually is not a good idea.
     
  9. JLT

    JLT Contributor Contributor

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    It all comes down to making things easier for the reader and to reduce any confusion. If you intend to be disorienting in the temporal sense, it's permissible, but the usual "rule" is to keep it either present tense or past tense, unless you have a clear signal to the reader that the point of references will change.
     
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  10. Ella_01

    Ella_01 New Member

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    Thank you all for your feedback. I think it's time I started editing back to a consistent past tense, unless as you all point out, there is a worthy reason to do otherwise. I won't pretend it was all part of a cunning master plan!
     
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  11. Maddy Knight

    Maddy Knight Member

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    I have been called out for it more than once, but I really have no idea that I'm doing it, nor even see it until someone rubs my nose in it. Maybe it's natural to mix tenses when speaking / thinking, but in writing we need to be more disciplined. I just don't realize when I'm doing it. Hence the reason I am here. I need to learn to see it, and catch myself in the act!
     
  12. Francis de Aguilar

    Francis de Aguilar Contributor Contributor

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    I would press on not worry about it, and fix it in editing. What I did notice, (not related to tense) in a line of dialogue: “so how are you feeling about Jake, Kiki? asks Lilly... Do you need Kiki named? I used to do this a lot, but unless the speaker really needs to ID the person, they are speaking to, there is no need, people just don’t do this, unless they need to get the persons attention in a group. They would be more likely so say, “ hey Kiki, how are you...”
     
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  13. alw86

    alw86 Active Member

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    As a reader I find tense switching incredibly jarring, it totally takes me out of the flow of the text. Don't use unless essential to the storytelling somehow.

    However, as @Francis de Aguilar says, no need to worry about it now. Write your draft however it comes out, then fix things like this in editing.
     

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