I just got word back from the agent I've been querying. She loves my book and would love to represent it, but first I need to make some improvements. Most notably, she says "The sensory details should have me right there in the scene with Henry and Ethan through their journey. Ramp it up and make it visceral. Something that puts me right in the middle of each scene with the characters." Any advice on how to do that?
I'd have to read a sample to get an idea. Maybe try posting it in the workshop. On another note, I've always hated how layers in the cavities of the body are called "parietal" and "visceral." Why have the anatomical direction terms "superficial" and "deep" if you're not going to use them?
likewise its difficult to say without seeing a sample (you need four most posts for workshop access) - it feels like a show don't tell issue.. that she wants to see, hear, touch, taste, experience the world more deeply through the characters. Word of caution if that doesn't fit with your writing style then she isn't the right agent for you... make improvements by all means but don't try and change your core style to please one person
I'll make a post in the workshop once I'm able to (don't mind me, I'm just upping my post count, dum dum dee doo) If anyone is interested, I can send you a link to the story on google docs to look at.
Sorry for the double post, but can someone tell me what's required to post in the workshop? I have twenty posts in the forums, my account has been active for more than two weeks, and I've left constructive criticisms on two threads in the workshop, but it still says I can't post new threads there.
it takes a little while for the software to catch up - you've only gone over 20 posts today. If you still haven't got access to tomorrow let us know... sometimes the inner workings just need a good hard kick from @Komposten our admin
I managed to get it up, if you're interested: https://www.writingforums.org/threads/henry-rider-clown-hunter-needs-to-be-more-visceral.164550/#post-1824964
