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  1. Merley

    Merley Member

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    My plot is shaky at best

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by Merley, Jan 24, 2019.

    I've been writing this book for a a year or so on and off, I'm not a serious writer, it's not a job of mine, but just a hobby. I'm writing what I hope to become a novel, it's currently at 2500o words almost 26000. I'm in the beginning of the story, kind of. But I'm not sure where to go. This girl came from Earth to a different world, and was imprisoned. She is being bounced between different groups of people. The groups she's being bounced between are sheep centaurs, lion centaurs, basically viking elves, and shape shifting elves. I want her to get out of their control, by being helped by the prince of the sheep people and going to the vanilla race. In the meantime there is a war being planned between the whole of the beastial races and the more civil races. She wants to get home, but I'm not totally sure how it's going to work. I have bits and pieces planned out but I'm not really sure where to take it, if she's gonna have to face some baddy, or stop the war, or something.

    It would really nice to get some advice of where to take it, I can link my story in here if anyone wants to read where I am in it.

    Thanks!
     
  2. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    So, she lands in a warzone and wants to go home, but doesn't have any idea how to do that or take any actions towards finding out?
     
  3. Merley

    Merley Member

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    She doesn't land in a warzone, but a warring country (basically), they aren't at war yet but are planning to go to war. She is there when they plan how to attack. She needs to get home. My plan is to get her out of the warring country into the other country that they are warring with. There's a prince from the bestial country and he is going to fake his own death and go with her. I don't know where to take the plot from there. She also doesn't know where to go, and the viking is minimal help. I want her to run into the underground crime ring as well, but that could come later.
     
  4. peachalulu

    peachalulu Member Reviewer Contributor

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    Could borrow from the Wizard of Oz - in order to get home she must complete a seemingly impossible task.
     
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  5. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    I don't understand what the characters goals are. I know you want all of these things to happen to her, but aside from a kinda vague, "go home," I don't see what her driving force is or what she's willing to do to accomplish that. All of the things that happen to her need to be either things she does to accomplish her goals, or things that are keeping her from accomplishing them. What does she need to do to go home? Is this something she can do alone or will she need help? Will there come a point where what she needs to do to accomplish this goal run contrary to established character traits? Will she have to choose between going home and following her moral compass? The premise has a lot of potential, but I think you need to fill out some of the details.
     
  6. Thundair

    Thundair Contributor Contributor

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    How did she get to a different world? You could define that pathway and show a way back that's not attainable until, as @peachalulu said, have a task to complete to return to earth. This wouldn't be a simple going home scenario it would be escaping the kidnapping and saving the life of your character.
     
    Last edited: Jan 25, 2019
  7. Merley

    Merley Member

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    Thats the thing, I want to look for different ways to go on with the plot from here.
     
  8. The Piper

    The Piper Contributor Contributor

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    Maybe a little irrelevant but I can't get past the sheep centaurs thing, lions is great but sheep - like, is the sheep part really big or the human part really small?
     
  9. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    What's the matter with sheep?

    [​IMG]
     
  10. The Piper

    The Piper Contributor Contributor

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    That is one hell of a sheep ewe've got there
     
  11. Potato

    Potato Member

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    She could help whatever group she's apart of win the war and then as a reward for helping them they could help her get home?
     
  12. Infel

    Infel Contributor Contributor

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    The plot sounds really cool, actually. And I'm all for sheep centaurs.

    Are you looking for suggestions? We have lots of those here!
     
  13. J. J. Wilding

    J. J. Wilding Member

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    If there is a war going on between every race under the sun, surely there are those who oppose the fighting, who are willing to help her as a distraction from it all? Perhaps with the promise of her taking them with her, especially if it's a shape-shifting elf who could blend in on Earth. You could even include a plot twist where the elf betrays your main character in exchange for a portal or gateway to another world to conquer... perhaps the war is actually myth, perpetuated by the elves masquerading as the populous of a fictional race? Perhaps they ARE the sheep-centaurs all along, lying to and fighting with the other races to insight violence, before revealing themselves and striking out. If they could systematically remove the other races, their leader will want to take the fight to Earth, or indeed any dimension/homeworld/planet your main character happens to be from. Even better, perhaps this prince of the sheep-centaurs is actually the elf that kidnapped the main character and other characters from their worlds, in order to use part of them (blood, soul, magic, etc...) to open a portal back to where they come from! And if they make it to Earth, the scope of the human defences is really broad; do they fight with blades and fists, or do they command some form of arcane arts such as magic? How many races live on this fictional Earth and do they fight alongside one another?

    That beginning just set my brain on fire so please excuse the bonkers reply, but it's a fine framework for all kinds of twists and turns and I look forward to seeing how it develops. This is where I would take it and personally, I like the idea of Earth's defences rallying with the last of the Lion-Centaurs (give each race a distinctive name, if you haven't done so already!) and fighting back the shape-shifting elves... perhaps the lion's eye is the only thing that can see them for what they truly are? Tonnes of possibilities, look forward reading! Happy writing, friend!
     
  14. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    She needs to have something the assorted 'taurs want. Something special she can do to or for them, otherwise she's just a curiosity.
     
  15. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    She wants to run for refuge with the vanilla race? Unless you're trying to make some white superiority statement, I advice changing that name... You're gonna get nonstop grief from that, whatever your intentions. And sure you should write whatever you like, but I'm not convinced - unless you have some ideology that's dear to you that you actively are trying to express - that it's honestly worth the grief.

    Besides, vanilla is... a surprisingly loaded term. You run the risk of endless innuendos too. In S&M circles, "vanilla" would be someone who's into boring sex and not well, the S&M stuff. Vanilla is also used to describe someone as boring (I'm not 100% sure if it's always sexually boring or it can mean generally boring as a person too). It means someone who's unadventurous.

    Now you add on top of that the sheep people... Oh gosh. (I'm a Brit. Yes I'm thinking of Wales) Just reading these names makes me wonder if you're trolling...
     
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  16. Merley

    Merley Member

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    Nope, not trolling, just have a lot of ideas piled on top of one another.

    The name of the race is actually Bannik, I called them the "vanilla race" because they are basically that. They don't have really any special traits, they can't change shape like another species, isn't half anything like the 'taurs. They don't have any real magic abilities either. So they are the plainest race in my world at the moment.
     
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  17. Merley

    Merley Member

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    Thanks! I've got so much I want to put into this story, and it's no where near finished. :D
    Yeah, I've got point A and C but B is kinda fuzzy in my head, I'm looking for as many suggestions as there can be!
     
  18. Merley

    Merley Member

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    I really like your ideas, I can see that happening very clearly.

    The fun part of the lion-centaurs that I'm just now realizing is with the map that is with the territories is that it looks like a lion. Lions can be a very influential part of the story.... something to think about. At the moment they are called the Frasome. The Frasome definitely like their tattoos.

    Thank you!
     
  19. Merley

    Merley Member

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    At the moment they believe she is part of the opposite forces in the war, so they want her to tell them the other sides battle plans.
     
  20. Merley

    Merley Member

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    Sheep can get pretty huge, my wether sheep is probably two feet wide and when he stand on his hind legs he's more that 6 feet tall.
     
  21. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Your story, but I think it needs more than "We found this hapless two-legged mutant wandering out of Liontaur territory, she must be integral to their spring offensive, let's torture her for information!" Perhaps there's a prophecy, or she's carrying a mirror or a polaroid or a charged up (no signal) iPhone that still has the ability to steal souls with its camera function? Cortez was lucky in that there was a prophecy lying around for him to step into, also the Aztecs hadn't seen horses before, but a castaway/explorer is more likely to get either taken into benign captivity (Typee) or just eaten or sacrificed or something if they look really weird.

    My 2yen.
     
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  22. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Or if they can impress their alien captors with their mad jumping skills (due to the the drastically lower gravity on Mars), they may get put in some sort of colosseum where they have to win their freedom.
     
  23. Iain Aschendale

    Iain Aschendale Lying, dog-faced pony Marine Supporter Contributor

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    Only if you want to spend a whole lot of money and not have a sequel.
     
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  24. The Dapper Hooligan

    The Dapper Hooligan (V) ( ;,,;) (v) Contributor

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    Well, the books had tonnes of sequels, so I don't know what happened there. I never actually saw the movie.
     
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  25. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Glad to hear it's not really called the vanilla race. It would be an awesome joke to have in your book though to have other characters call them vanilla :D
     

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