1. johncjg

    johncjg New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2017
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Gibraltar

    My story - struggle with writing and depression

    Discussion in 'Progress Journals' started by johncjg, Feb 20, 2017.

    I'm sorry if this is a long post, but I just had to get this all out on paper, and any words from other writers would be great.

    I have wanted to be a true writer since 2010. I wrote my heart out and after several rejections, I finally got accepted by an Indie publishing house for my first novel which was released in 2014. I had thought this was going to change my life, but in fact nothing changed at all. What happened instead was the indie publishing house did not make good on any of their promises and I ended up with crushed dreams and few sales.

    I fell into a deep depression after this, and consequently lost many things such as my partner and my job. I rallied after this, realizing that writing had become an obsession and I had to balance my life out. I focused on my friends and family and getting a new job.

    I also started looking into self-publishing. I started strong with a novel written in 2015, but a follow up in 2016 was fired by an editor who was supposed to take a month and took half a year, delaying me signficantly.

    I had this whole plan to write quickly, but had felt quickly de-railed and after a few years once again feel like I haven't really achieved anything.

    I am currently writing a new novel and am about halfway through at about 56K but I can't help but feel after all these years I have not gotten anywhere at all. I feel as depressed as I did in 2014 after my first novel tanked.

    I refuse to give in to despair however, but I feel the only way I can get through this is to reach out to other authors. Maybe other people have had similar experiences?

    It's hard not to feel depressed when I feel like after all these years and novels, I have not achieved anything. But then, I shouldn't feel down. My livelihood doesn't depend on my words. This is an inner battle rather than an external one.

    I hope this is the right place to do this. As I plan to update regarding my writing process here. I feel like I want to be accountable to other writers, but I don't know any. I guess that's what the internet is for.

    If you've read thanks!

    TLDR - writing for many years, released a few novels, haven't gotten anywhere. Feel depressed, but won't let it bring me down. Reaching out to other authors for friendship and advice
     
  2. johncjg

    johncjg New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2017
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Gibraltar
    Actually I don't think this is the right place, but I don't know how to delete this thread and move it. I can't see an option to delete it
     
  3. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin The game sour like a pickle be.... Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    6,479
    Likes Received:
    12,771
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    I hear you. Not sure if you're looking for advice but here it is: Write for yourself. Write because you love it. Write because you're compelled to do it. It's art for art's sake, and if you're looking for external recognition, it's very likely that you will not find it. So fuck all that shit and just write.
     
  4. Arcadeus

    Arcadeus Senior Member

    Joined:
    Dec 29, 2016
    Messages:
    342
    Likes Received:
    245
    I'd say make sure to find a job where you can make a living and not be too tired to write.

    The longer your books are out there, the more fans you will get.
    It's cumulative and painful.
    Just remember to look forward and keep writing.
    I believe you'll hit your lucky break eventually.
    You can have some decent fame and still be a poor man in writing. (Having a nice 41-hour workweek job makes things so much easier)
    You said self-publishing was going well, meaning that a lot of people are going to be looking for more books from you in the future.
    Write for them, but take care of yourself at the same time.
     
  5. johncjg

    johncjg New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2017
    Messages:
    14
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    Gibraltar
    Thank you Homer, I agree I should write for myself. Toe, it's great to hear I'm not alone and that other people are hit by depression. Writing is such a lonely struggle, it makes sense that it goes hand in hand with depression.

    And thank you arcadeus, your words mean a lot to me.

    I don't talk about this stuff in real life. I work in healthcare and so look after lots of people and people don't often look at me as a person, but just someone who is going to help fix their problems.
    Writing is all I've ever wanted to do,

    It's great reading other progress logs and seeing others struggle. Internet is wonderful for bringing communities together.
    I feel better this week, and I've actually managed some writing!

    Maybe we could all use this thread or another similar to post our battles with depression and inner demons? If anyone is interested in sharing. It's cathartic, I think, if a little embarrassing! No, I'm kidding it's not
     
    ToeKneeBlack likes this.

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice