So, I'm working on a new short story. It starts off sounding like its third person POV. It's got a bit of a witty narrator and I think it works well for the story. Then I get to a place a few pages in where there's a bit of an opening to allow this POV to turn out to be first person from an observer in the story. Does this sound really strange? It's not at all jarring or any kind of twist. It actually flows nicely, but I'm not sure if it's too weird. I could go back and change the first few pages to make it clearer that it's a first person story, but the narrator is not at all important to the story. I could keep going in third person, but I wanted someone in the background to do some explaining and the POV voice seems to really fit this when I carried it over to first. This may sound crazy, but I'm puzzled as to how to best handle this. I would love to hear some of your thoughts.
This is one of those where it's hard for me to say without seeing it...I'd say ask a trusted crit partner or beta reader. Or you can always throw it upon the tender mercies of the workshop here.
If you're only a few pages in maybe you could just write in first. I've read a few things where the story starts out in first and switches to third, and I didn't feel lost at any point. I guess the danger of bouncing like you said is will it stumble the reader. Who is your target audience?
Eventually, I'll have someone read it before I send it anywhere on submission. But I like to have my stories polished and worked out before asking anyone to read them. I don't hate the story, but I've got to do some more pondering on the approach I've taken. I don't want to ruin an otherwise good story with some weird POV shit, you know?
The story was fully written when I created this post. I guess that might not have been clear, but I more wanted to discuss the topic with other writers here and just get a sense if this seemed completely crazy. See, a story that starts in first and switches to third does sound completely crazy to me. I just don't see how that would really work or think it would work well. However, I have done the reverse of that which could be equally crazy. The voice and tone of my narrater is consistent. You've got someone narrating the story that's unfolding before them. And the narrator never enters anyone's thoughts or anything like that. But after a few pages the I pronoun comes into play. Like I said, I don't think it's jarring, but it is a little unconventional. Selling short stories is hard enough. I don't want to make it even harder. I like the story. I guess I'm trying to decide it there is a good reason for not making it clear who the narrator is from the start. Also, like I said, the narrator really isn't important to the story. That my sound strange too. I think it's a solid story and I'm not trying to have it loaded with bells and whistles that could be a distraction. It just sort of turned out this way as I wrote it. And because it's a little different I thought I would run the concept by you guys. I don't even think it matters what the story is about or anything. Just wondering from the community what your take on this is and if anyone else has tried or done something similar? Anything experimental can be tricky, right? It sort of works or it doesn't? Have you guys experimented and played around with POV like this?
Usually the tense remains consistent throughout a story, but Patricia Briggs successfully introduced a switch from 1st person to 3rd person in her Mercy series. Try writing the first two pages in 1st person and see if you like it better. My guess is that if you're asking the question, your subconscious thinks there might be something off. Every time I question something like that and think it will work, my writer's group nails it in the read-through without prompting on my part...
So, I'm still playing along with this baby. And it's not my attempt to be sneaky or even clever with this. I like the way the POV and narrator work in both sections. I just need to make sure there is an ultra smooth transition so you can't even tell anything has changed and if you realize it, you can't pinpoint where exactly change has occurred because it just works. What do you think?
