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  1. Edgelordess

    Edgelordess Member

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    Need a good word for this situation

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Edgelordess, Jul 26, 2018.

    Situation: Carmin recently escaped a near attack from some stranger. She meets up with her friend, Otis and tells her about the almost attack. Otis feels the urge to protect Carmin, as this stranger could be dangerous. However, the only thing Carmin knows about her attacker, is that he is Otis's roommate. (Otis pointed him out earlier in the story to Carmin)

    Exert:

    He grabbed her shoulders, protectively. “Did he hurt you?”

    “Yes..well no...kinda. He grabbed my wrist and startled me. He didn’t say what he wanted from me. And so he was about to drag me somewhere, so I did what my heart told me to do. I kicked him, ran away and called the campus police.”


    What I need: I need to think of a word that Otis would say to show disgust towards his roomate's actions. I need something along the line of "that bastard!" but I don't want to use that phrase of dioluage, since this is a story aimed towards ten to fifteen year olds. Thoughts?
     
  2. GB reader

    GB reader Contributor Contributor

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    Vulture, skunk, snake, cockroach (roach).

    That is, a word that itself is not bad but when applied to a person shows what you think about him.

    Not in your context, but

    Parrot
    Donkey
    Carrot
    Potato
    Nutshell

    Are perfectly good words that when applied to a person says something about them.
     
  3. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    'Certainly reprehensible behaviour...'

    ...although 'rigorous' study of your prose shows that he only held her wrist. So, I would fix that - clarity issue - also.
     
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  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    Weasel?
     
  5. izzybot

    izzybot (unspecified) Contributor

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    Jerk, or creep?
     
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  6. Edgelordess

    Edgelordess Member

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    Creep, thats what I wanted to say! Thanks, @izzybot
    Carmin is talking to Otis about her attacker, not Otis himself. LOL
     
  7. @theunheardwriter21

    @theunheardwriter21 Member

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    If you are not against light profanity, possibly "that bastard".
     
  8. SethLoki

    SethLoki Retired Autodidact Contributor

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    I follow @matwoolf in that you ought to make clear the attempt to drag off/abduct and the intention implied by that act. From there I figure you'd be forgiven for using an adjective to pull focus on what kind of creep/jerk/weasel he is. Filthy, slimy, dirty... < cue the thesaurus for those.
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2018
  9. WaffleWhale

    WaffleWhale Active Member

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    But to be fair, literally anything sounds like an insult when you say it the right way.

    Lawnchair
    Spidermonkey
    Moose Horn
    Squid
    Grain of Sand

    They all sound like insults if you say them in the right tone.
     

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