Need a word for the catharsis of going over and over something in your head

For me it's more likely comebacks

I dunno. When I go through this process it's not ongoing. If I have worked out what I should have said or how, it's done. To go over that same scenario with the same different response from me would feel very weird. Problem solved, next! Not problem solved, solve it again!

Visualisation is the closest concept I can think of.

My experience discussing with people when they are going over things repeatedly is that they are bashing themselves up, not solving the same issue over and over and over.

 

so could it be as simple as saying 'rethinking?'

 

You're talking about recrimination.

 

I don't think recrimination fits.

As for going over and over things, this is an ongoing bullying situation. Visualization and daydreaming are kind of the same in this regard.

 

For me,

• Daydreaming is dreaming - off in lala fantasy land.
• Visualisation is deliberately setting up scenarios and working through / practicing how you would handle them.

Visualisation is a technique used in sports psych. Day dreaming not so much.

 

Seeing a lumpsucker in my trap ended the mental review.

Seeing a lumpsucker in my trap ended the mental rigmarole.

Seeing a lumpsucker in my trap ended the mental rewind.

 

So far I'm still happy with:

Seeing a lumpsucker in my trap ended the futile exercise of ‘if only’.
​

But I might call it ending the futile game of 'if only'. Before I changed things, I had written, "I played this game all the time out here." But I've taken it out in the rewrite.

[ponders some more]

 

Do you have to tell that her mental merry-go-round of if-onlies ends when she sees the lumpsucker? (the what-whatter?)

I'm just wondering if this transition is even necessary. A crude example, but what I mean is something like:

The trap was some hundred yards ahead, shielded by redbushes and sky vines. I trudged down the mossy path, my heart as heavy and tired as my feet. If only I had told Emma what she meant to me. Maybe she wouldn't have left. Maybe she'd still be alive. If only I had pressed the green button and called her. Easy. Pressed the button and waited for her to pick up and then told her exactly how important she was to me, to us.

Something moved in the trap. I froze, holding my breath. Was it a lumpsucker? Holy hell, I caught one!

I can't really think of a suitable word for it, though. Futile is a good adjective, so like you've already done, you can pair it with some noun that describes the act. I like 'exercise'. It seems accurate enough. Self-flagellation was a pretty good suggestion as well.

 

I like your option, the gist of it anyway. I was going for revealing one of the major conflicts right off the bat. I'll take your idea under consideration though, and see if there isn't a better way altogether to write the scene.