1. Shannon Davidson

    Shannon Davidson Member

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    Need a word, I'm suffering brain deprivation

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Shannon Davidson, Feb 10, 2021.

    Hey all, I need a word. Not crazy about how I'm describing the sound of illuminated matter escaping from a breach in an ethereal dome. I need something like "screech," as it just doesn't sound right to me. Been looking at it for days and I'm over it. Any thoughts? This is about the Supreme Being leaving a holy place in the heavens. It is seen by those watching as a mass of illuminated matter ebbing and flowing at the arc of a dome, then creating a rift and escaping through it. I'm pasting the passage below for context.

    #​

    Narrow and nearly invisible at first, a rift was forming, a fissure that ran across the highest aspect of The Oculus. It spread rapidly, arcing across the limitless reaches, a thin but visibly growing fracture that—within moments—spanned the sky from horizon to horizon. The light seemed to react to it, long, languid tendrils of luminous matter reaching out from the center of the mass and investigating the fracture like the arms of a Dol fish. At the highest point of the arc beyond, the vertex ruptured. Hundreds, possibly even thousands of smaller cracks spread outward in every direction as the dome succumbed to The Supreme Being's presence. In an excited rush, the energized matter began forcing its way through the egress with a shrill and piercing screech, the sound as deafening as steam escaping from a great subterranean vent.

    #
    Clarification: I don't like screech because it sounds like its TSB that's screeching. The screech is the sound the matter is making as it passes through the rift, not a vocalization from The Supreme Being.

    Ideas?
     
  2. Bruce Johnson

    Bruce Johnson Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Did this get deleted? From my word list for sounds, I'd suggest maybe 'drone' or 'whir'.
     
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  3. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    Whistle.
     
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  4. B.E. Nugent

    B.E. Nugent Contributor Contributor Contest Winner 2023

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    Hiss?
     
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  5. Shannon Davidson

    Shannon Davidson Member

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    I thought about this, and might lean that way.
     
  6. SapereAude

    SapereAude Contributor Contributor

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    Shriek?

    Whoosh?

    Scream?

    Keen?

    Howl?

    I'll bet you could come up with more if you used a real thesaurus (as opposed to those dictionaries of synonyms that call themselves thesauri).
     
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  7. CerebralEcstasy

    CerebralEcstasy Active Member

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    Wail?
     
  8. ThunderAngel

    ThunderAngel Contributor Contributor

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    Cry?

    Roar?
     
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  9. Xoic

    Xoic Prognosticator of Arcana Ridiculosum Contributor Blogerator

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    Pfffft!
     
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  10. Shannon Davidson

    Shannon Davidson Member

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    I like this, maybe I'll rewrite the sentence to make this work.
     
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  11. CerebralEcstasy

    CerebralEcstasy Active Member

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    I hope it works for you. Wind wails, so maybe matter can too?
     
  12. Shannon Davidson

    Shannon Davidson Member

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    Oh, an ocean squall. I bet there's a bunch of ways to describe wind in that situation... I'm liking this.
     
  13. Shannon Davidson

    Shannon Davidson Member

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    I like these. Thinking of rewriting things a bit to include descriptives used for a squall. :)
     

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