So I have a character, who is pretty depressed and I'm having problems with him. First problem: I have spent some time reading up on depression and I have tried to find stuff by real people talking about their experience but most of it seems to stem from some kind of bullying or other emotional abuse. It seems that the main problem for all these people is low self esteem, which absolutely doesn't apply to my character, who is mostly depressed because of bottled up feelings (and partly his somewhat nihilistic life philosophy). It is hard to find relevant references to work off and so far I have only found a couple. If anyone can point me in the right direction that would be great Second Problem: For most of the novel the reader doesn't know why, maybe even that, the character is depressed. This means, that the reader doesn't know of any apparent reason untill the charcter finally opens up about his past about 3/4 into the book. Thing is, that reader will find out about a past suicide attempt and his current depression a lot earlier and I'm affraid, that he will come off as pathetic and whiny. I'm saying this because the guy (at the time of the novel) probably is the most priveleged character in the whole book and really should have nothing to complain about. His feelings only become understandable when the reader finds out about the depressing stuff that happened to him 15 years earlier. Bonus problem: is it unrealistic that he would still be depressed by stuff from 15 years ago? My reason is that he never really dealt with his feelings or solved his problems but I don't know if that is a bad excuse or not. Sorry for rambeling but I hope someone could maybe help me out with this one. Thanks for reading!
I suffer from depression First thing is its not like being sad .. you aren't depressed about stuff, you're just depressed. If someone says "I'm depressed because my girlfreind dumped me" the strong likelihood s that they aren't depressed at all, they are just upset and down. Its a very misused word. Depression is a mental health issue stemming from a chemical imbalance in the brain, ergo you don't just get it from having unresolved issues from the past. Certainly these may be a contributing factor, but its a lot more complicated than that. Secondly a depressed character is difficult to write because depressed people can struggle with even simple things... for a long period of time I couldn't open my post, and at its worst I struggled with going outside. I just wanted to hide because everything seemed pointless and scary. Thirdly its not about having stuff or not having stuff - Bruce Springsteen suffers from depression Lastly don't confuse clinical depression with PTSD - people who suffer post traumatic stress disorder are not depressed per se* , they have a different chemical imbalance, often caused (particularly in vets) by constant over stimuation of adrenalin release. It is often misunderstood by people who think it needs one big inciting incident like seeing a freind get killed or surviving a mine strike ... but often it is just the brain suffering from the daily grind of combat. (* this is complicated by the fact that some PTSD sufferers have clinical depression as well)
I think taking a look into the technical workings of Vulcan society to get an idea of sorts that you are asking about in regards to repressing emotions and having depression. That would be the closest to what you are looking for in terms of the effects of repressing emotions and the consequences (though I am sure there are studies out there that can shed light on a more human level). And I second what @big soft moose said.
First problem: I'm not quite sure what direction to point you in, since as far as I know depression isn't super different when it's caused by past trauma vs. when it's caused by something else. I would think that if you just read accounts of what it's like to live with depression, you'll be good. Of course no two people experience it the same way, but it's not like people who have depression caused by bullying all have ABC symptoms and people who have depression caused by something else all have XYZ symptoms. As for the "something else"... yeah, you can absolutely have depression 15 years after its onset. For many people it's a lifelong illness. Also, low self-esteem is just as likely to be a symptom of depression as its cause. Interestingly, I just learned that there's really no evidence for the claim that chemical imbalances cause depression. We still don't know what causes it. (link for those curious) You don't need to worry about whether your character having depression is unrealistic based on his circumstances. It can strike anyone. Second problem: It sounds like you're asking if readers will think your character is pathetic and whiny if he has depression for "no reason." Am I understanding right? Well, I imagine some people will. Some people just think depression is something you can switch off if you get a better attitude. It's not true, but they cling to that belief. Maybe it helps them feel like they'll never succumb to depression, I don't know. But yeah, for those sorts of people who think humans have 100% control over their health and mindset, they might find your character pathetic. In my opinion--who cares? They're wrong.
another point, depressed people on the whole aren't pathetic and whiny- generally they don't sit around saying "I'm soooooo depressed" - in fact they often expend huge amount of energy and time pretending they aren't depressed (recognising that you are depressed and talking about it to someone , is a major step towards recovery) this video is a good insight into what its like
Is it possible to give an allusion to what happened 15 years earlier, just so any "not very sympathic" readers will know that something bad happened to him? You could quite possibly say before the reader learns about his past suicide attempt and his current depression that something happened 15 years before, but not go into detail about what it was. That would also make the reader curious to keep reading because they'll want to know what happened to him. I posted a thread a while ago that you may find helpful, as I too worry about my MC being whiny. https://www.writingforums.org/threads/whiny-mc.153305/ Absolutely not. If he never took the steps to try to get over what happened, it's easy to see how whatever happened could still be eating him up inside. My only suggestion on this is to make sure that time couldn't heal this wound he has, at least not fully enough to not have depression anymore. Also, is his depression getting worse or better throughout the story? If it's getting worse, then I'm going to assume things are happening to bring up the past. Make sure those things are significant enough and realistic enough to make his depression worsen.
Seconding what @big soft moose said. Depression is bigger than a response to any one event or situation. I beg pardon for not making a better comment on it, but check out this blog post by Allie Brost of Hyperbole and a Half. I've never had it half so bad or for such a long stretch as she describes here, but I've had it enough to know she's absolutely spot on.
Yeah that pretty much nailed it ... I never got suicidal, but I do have a memory of hiding behind the couch and my dog looking down at me like "Daddy what are you doing down there" I also have a memory of walking round a zoo with people going wow look at the baby snow leopards (Snow leopards are or were one of my favourite animals) and just feeling flat. Likewise with visiting a woodwork store full of shiny man toys (the sort of place where i could usually spent hours and half the GDP of the UK) and just feeling like Meh. Then you feel bad because people took you to these places to cheer you up. Thing is you can't cheer up when you're depressed. It sucks. A combination of pills, therapy, and surprisingly writing has taken me on the road back, although I still have wobbles - Oli cat dying last week knocked me on my arse for several days, way more than the death of a pet usually would.
I'd also like to say that as someone who's never experienced depression but knows and loves several people who have, that post was the first time I was truly able to understand what depression is like for the person who's suffering. I'm a problem solver by nature and it always frustrated me that I couldn't help my friends feel better. But this cut right to the heart of it, and I've never tried to "fix" a depressed friend again.
I'm so sorry for your loss. {{{hugs}}} We have an 18 year old kittie that we've had for 13 years and I know we'll just be devastated when he passes on.
He wasn't strictly speaking 'mine' he was adopted by our whole depot at work - but I was one of only four of us who could pick him up without being savaged. My original dog (kim) died back in april - that set my recovery back significantly too ... although I didnt really cry I just switched off emotionally. It wasnt until I got the max puppy in June that all the loss and hurt of Kim going came bubbling up and I held him and cried into his big soft ears.
Hi, Knight. Let me ask you something: Are you writing about me? Because it mostly seems like you are. Yes, I suffer from depression. What I would add to the posts from Moose already is that depression also has a range. I, for example, have never once contemplated suicide. Nor have I ever been particularly predisposed to locking myself in a room and hoping everyone would all go away. But I have wrestled for most of my adult life with the realization that I just have a hard time caring about much of anything. Emotional relations just become so hard and burdensome after a length of time. You find ways to distract yourself from feeling flat. In fact, some of us become so adept at managing distractions that we can easily overlook or deny our problem, but it's there, always lurking in the back. You can even not know you are depressed until someone points it out to you, you look into your life and realize that it's true. Most people around me have no idea. I'm pretty good in company. I joke, I laugh, I feel like I'm having a good time, but it all just kind of goes away the moment I'm not in the room. It's not sadness, it's just flatness. I didn't have a particularly hard life growing up. I wasn't abused. My family were emotionally stunted, kind of. I mean, they were very old school, strict English, stiff upper lip types, transposed to a Canadian setting. But what did happen was that my dad was injured when I was about 12. He was debilitated for life and spent those first few years laid up in bed, in agony, or half out of his head on painkillers. There was no one to show me how to grow up to be a man at the time when I most needed guidance. So I shut down my need for reassurance and affection, shut down my disappointment and anger... and once you start shutting down any emotions, they all start to shut down. (Except for anger. When that flares up, it becomes amplified, it seems.) So you're character sounds like he's just fine, based on my limited experience.
In my own experience of depression, it isn't just a case of feeling really sad all the time, as others have said. Depression can manifest itself in many forms, such as anger, apathy anxiety or at times, physical sickness. I don't think you need to label your character as "having depression" early in the book for people to get it. Depression is actually very common, and a lot of people will recognise the symptoms.
Lots of people here have already tackled the issue of depression itself, so I'll concentrate my remarks on the writing aspect. Is this depressed character of yours the POV/narrator of your story? If so, you have a lot of scope for letting the reader know that he is truly suffering inside. If he is your POV character, you should exploit the fact that you are inside his head. Don't fall into the trap of just showing us what he does, where he goes, what he says. You have this huge dimension of his inner thoughts and emotions to work with as well. He might seem one way on the outside, but inside he's boiling or dripping with something entirely different. Other characters can think that he's just being whiney and self-indulgent, but you can engineer how he thinks and feels about their view of him, that proves how wrong they are. The downside to this approach is that it will be difficult for you to keep story secrets about him as well, if he is your POV/narrator. HE knows what his past is, so if you keep this information back, waiting to spring the 'surprise' about past events, then it's going to risk annoying the reader. I know about this, because it's a problem I have had to deal with. I also have a POV character (one of several) who is concealing aspects of his past from the people around him. It's a tricky line to take. If your depressed character is not the POV character, but is being observed by somebody else who is the narrator or POV character, then you can keep the depressed person's secrets more easily, but it will also be more difficult to let the reader know exactly what he's feeling. Both approaches make certain aspects of the story easier, and other aspects more difficult. It's a matter of choosing which matters to you the most—either keeping secrets or revealing inner thoughts and feelings—and working out a way to deal with the difficulties.
My Depression stems from nothing. Nothing at all. It also feels like a void???? I dunno. that's how I've explained it in my own writings. I write depression a lot. but it's also coupled with anxiety. And sometimes if my anxiety acts up so can my depression. Basically, to me, I can't get motivation to do ANYTHING. I am a lazy personality anyway. but it's WORE on the times when I'm depressed. and yes people will ask if I'm sad and I'll say "not particularly" and just go on. What those people are seeing when I'm not smiling or look particularly tired is just me being depressed. but, I also have to do things to manage that depression and I think that's important to consider. A lot of people think you can just "live" there. and no you really can't because it's really unhealthy. So you need to decide what your want to depict. the really unhealthy stuff, or do you want your character to TRY and manage it.
