Mohenjo Daro is an anicent Civilization. these long-buried cities were first discovered by modern archaeologists. one of these rediscovered sites was Mohenjo-Daro. Mohenjo-Daro, means, “Mound of the Dead Men". Mohenjo-daro is an ancient city in Pakistan,the area of 750 acres with population of about 40,000, Mohenjo-Daro was one of the largest and advanced city in the world. the city had complex water management system,drainage sewer system and civil engineering and urban planning evident in the city’s development. City’s largest structures are things like public assembly halls, a marketplace, ancient apartment buildings. all things that emphasis on an orderly and modest civil society. The walls were plastered with mud. Mohenjo-daro suffered more than once from devastating floods. the city had a population of 35,000 to 50,000 at its peak. It was one of the earliest cities in the world. Mohenjo Daro was built around the same time as the Great Pyramids of Egypt. It’s the most well-preserved city of the Indus civilization. The people of Mohenjo-Daro knew how to work metal, and both copper and bronze artifacts have been found. The people of this civilization did not build massive monuments like their contemporaries, nor did they bury riches among their dead in golden tombs. There were no mummies, no emperors, and no violent wars or bloody battles in their territory. • Mohenjo-daro was designated a UNESCO World Heritage site in 1980. The city of Mohenjo-daro, now 2 miles (3 km) from the Indus. Scholars have put forth differing theories to explain the disappearance of the city, including an Aryan Invasion and climate change marked by overwhelming monsoons. Please help me to correct my article.
I've tidied up the copy a bit below - others may have more fixes and suggestions. I use GB English so might not notice conventions from International English "plastered with mud" - I think this needs a specific archaeological word and found "sun-dried mud-brick" on the wikipedia page. Plastered with mud sounds like there is just some mud splattered on the wall afterwards. "all things that emphasis on an orderly and modest civil society" - I took this to be a development of the previous sentence. It's not just that these things are evidence, they are proof or sure confirmation - and emphasize didn't feel to me like quite the right word for something a building does. I thought "top off" might play on the structures in the previous sentence being foundational structures which the assembly halls are standing on both physically and conceptually. Some other possibilities might be "crown" or "complete" or "are sure indications of". In the first sentence, I think the civilization in English might normally be called the "Indus Valley Civilization" rather than Mohenjo-daro - but might be more than a copy edit and it wouldn't be professional to change the meaning at this stage.
Its not copy its just I tried one thing and came thanks for correction.I ll try my best next time and I should delete this one.thanks again
Hi, @sadia jabeen. A copy doesn't necessarily means a piece of writing or work made similarly to another. In this context, the copy @evild4ve was talking about is any single specimen of a written work. Also, I think you should improve your writings rather than outright deleting any works you find subpar, imperfect, or anyhow not to your expectations. Regarding your article: 1. You need to capitalize first letter of sentences. 2. You also need a space after commas. 3. There are multiple incidences of dependent clauses that was put as a single sentence when it should really be combined with the previous sentence to give it more clarity. See below: 4. There are also a few cases where you should actually join two sentences to avoid repetition of words, like below: 5. You need to vary your sentence types. Most of your sentences are simple sentences put consecutively next to another simple sentences. Readers notice this kind of thing pretty well, and that could make your paragraphs overall awkward to write. There's a lot of technical issues with your writing. It is clear that you still have a long way to go to make your writing effective, tight, and pleasantly readable. Fortunately, you're never alone in your journey! As long as you're willing to improve and not easily disheartened by criticism, you're already on your way to be a better writer!
