Erotic Fantasy Author, Just Need Friends

Hello,

What I write sort of... doesn't fit into any genre...
I write fantasy stories with no violence, in worlds where war was never invented, that also have no gender constructs, no taboos against sex or nudity, no religion... the conflicts are mostly mystery-based, like finding a stolen artifact. The worlds aren't perfect, but they're a lot closer to it than real life... but they're not escapism, either. My aim with my work is to share ideas for how the real world can become better, helping readers detangle socially ingrained ideas that they might have been taught, that are harmful (like that sex is bad but violence is cool). My purpose in life is to help the world become more sex-positive and pacifist.

I'm... currently writing a fanfic, though. I've been playing a video game with a mix of characters that I just felt a need to create something with...

I'm just really lonely, and I need to find friends... to talk about writing, especially...

So, hello.

 

Hello, FlammettaRey, nice name.

You have a noble purpose. I get exhausted by the people that keep feeding their children with violent games/movies/etc, but if any sex is involved it's a no-no. Should be the other way around, sex is natural and good. Sex will help us populate the future, which is always needed.

Your stories seem intriguing, stories without violence can be nice, but very difficult to do. I would have great trouble writing such a story. Violence is just such an everyday human thing, almost natural like sex, I wish it wasn't, but then we would live in a paradise without knowing it.

You have come to a great place to talk about writing.

 

So would you be friends with a polar opposite. I guess it would be fair to classify me as an alpha male. I have a violent past, I used to be a fighter, kick boxer, I love to be hit, enjoy hitting others even more, anyone who is evolved in fighting, and says differently, is lying. I have fought others who have working at taking away what I have earned in business. I have been broke and rich a couple of times in life. I have shot at people and been shot at. I am motivated by money and success. To add some contrast, I have been involved in the ministry, a motorcycle ministry and evangelism. I am old enough to realize sex is a real driving component in life, there is no such thing as casual sex without consequences, to think differently only means your too young to see the fall out. I don't play video games, but I do race motorcycles, run marathons and do obstacle course races. I have been happily married to my high School sweet heart for 43 years. I write non-fiction, when I do write fiction, 90 percent of it is true.

Friendship is about give and take, it is about willing to be second, put the other guy first, build them up not tear them down, it means not judging them, but giving them to chance to prove themselves, it is about forgiving them, when they don't do the right thing.

Being a friend is a real commitment, a real sacrifice. It can bring you more joy or heartache than almost anything else.

Pm me some of your writings, I would be glad to read some of your work, mine is easy to find in the short story, or non-fiction sections of this site I probably have 15 or so stories posted.

The ball is in your court!

 

I'll be your friend, we can talk about writing.

 

@RMBROWN
I am curious and uneducated in this matter, but I see the term alpha male thrown around quiet a bit these days on the internet, what exactly does it mean to you? I know the term has been used to refer to dominant males among animals, and I often imagine Sir David Attenborough going on about an alpha male in a certain group, but I never understood how the term applies to humans. Are there psychological journals or essays classifying certain human characteristics into alpha males and otherwise?

As someone who classifies himself as an alpha male, how do you see someone who would classify themself as a beta male? And more curiously, how is your interaction with other people who considers themselves alpha males?

 

@Madman —my own take, I don't claim to speak for @RMBROWN , but why would humans be different from other mammalian species, especially the primates we evolved from? Of course there are human alphas. They're the ones who are confident and relaxed and have nothing to prove—it's the betas you gotta watch out for, always striving to prove they're ready to step up and take an alpha's place. That tends to be where the toxic masculinity exists, that and the omegas who are simmering with resentment. I should add that some alphas are real jerks though. Nobody is defined entirely by the categories they inhabit.

 

It's easy, in a group setting, some are going to follow, almost all, some are going to lead, a very small minority. I am a leader. I have been in politics, the ministry, president of multiply groups. Leadership is not something that happens by accident, its s something your strive for. I am a take action kind of guy with a methodical mind who's goal is to always solve the problem, fix what is broken. I am pro-active verses passive. I also have a the bad habit of being passionate about just about every thing, my wife would call this an annoying habit or trait of mine. I'm also the first to jump in to help, offer my opinion, get my hands dirty. Those are all traits that people follow when they are not sure of what to do or direction go. They have a saying, "Lead, follow, or get out of the way," It is as basic as it gets.

Alpha males alway respect other alpha males. I have punched someone then bought them a beer, had someone do same for me. leadership is sometimes born of 'contempt' for those who sit on the sidelines of life.

 

Thanks @Xoic and @RMBROWN
I always just thought this was some new internet phenomenon. I thought that the human psyche would be too complicated for these kinds of categorizations. I found this short wikipedia text about the subject: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alpha_(ethology)#Humans
But I have not found any articles about it.
I also have trouble viewing some of our political leaders as alphas. Maybe that is the beta in me ready to pounce?

Anyway, I got curious and did two humorous online tests, in one I was 60% alpha and 40% beta, in another I was omega. I looked at what seems to define the different categories, and I don't think I have ever been consistent with my behaviour. But more importantly, I have trouble classifying my main character in my book. Oh well.

 

Most politicians aren't alphas, they're con men/women who know how to put on a good show. The kind of people who would be good door-to-door salesmen. That's mostly about putting on a show of being confident and likable. There are other factors involved that complicate things.

Oh crap, I feel another mouse experiment coming on. I tend to bring these up every so often because, you know, people are really just like mice and rats, right? But this is actually good stuff to know for creating characters and story.

And this comes from Carl Sagan, so it can't be wrong! I believe it was in his book Shadows of Forgotten Ancestors, which is all about how our behavior is still based largely on instincts we inherited from animal forebears. But it's important to understand that different species behave very differently.

When an alpha male mouse strolls in the room, everyone freezes in place and the alpha will have sex with all the females and possibly some of the males. But that's not homosexuality, it's a dominance thing, same as it is (largely) in prisons. In mice and rats, the alphas refuse to cooperate with anyone else, so even if they're not making everybody freeze, they tend to disrupt group cooperation, which otherwise the rest of the mice are good at.

But this isn't true for humans. It can be, depending on how hostile the alpha male is. I mean, it happens in gangs and prisons etc. The less civil the behavior is, the closer it becomes to mouse behavior. But as long as an alpha is a decent person in a decent society it's very different.

He also discussed alpha dogs and wolves. I think that's where I read this, though it could have been somewhere else. But a true alpha dog doesn't worry about what the betas are doing, he'll just lay there all chill until a beta really gets annoying and then he'll just get up and make it clear he's not happy. Usually that's all it takes, and all the aggression in the group just dissipates instantly, but sometimes a really neurotic beta is determined to step up and take the alpha position. The alpha will do what's necessary to put him back in his place. In the canine world, unlike the mouse world, alphas actually restore order and calmness to the group rather than disrupting it.

When you hear about a lone wolf, that's usually a beta who tried to step up on an alpha and got roughed up and cast out of the group. Wolves are pack animals, being cast out is a serious punishment for a serious offense, and it makes life very dangerous and difficult for the castaway.

People are the same, we're very social. This is what cancel culture goes after. When they cancel somebody they're casting them out, ostracizing them from the group. It's old behavior (far older than the human species obviously) but it finds expression in modern human society in the form of social shaming and reputation destruction (aka blacklisting and destroying a person's career or social standing etc).

 

I've seen it happen at work. But that's a somewhat different thing, because in human society we form hierarchies that aren't based on actual standing. I mean, the boss isn't necessarily an alpha, just a person who got promoted for whatever reason. So you get all kinds of people in charge, many who hate other people or are filled with resentment or just don't know how to give orders. We had a boss once who had bipolar disorder, and some days she'd come in in a terrible mood and essentially torture us all.