I have a special agent (FBI) who is working on a case about some magical serial murders. Even when he at first is a skeptic about magic, he is intrigued about the case because it seems more like two parties, one on the run from the other, and he wants to know who is running from what. Those being chased are two runaway teens, one turned into a zombie-like monster. The spell that turned him into that gave them both magical powers (her immunity and ability to control him when she needs and him the ability to shape change in order to devour people like an octopus). Those chasing them are a young boy who is technically in a coma and a monster who inhabits his body. The monster can change the shape and state of of objects, and can use a 'shadow' that grows teeth and bites. How would he FBI agent figure out one is running from the other? How much evidence would he need to identify these people to make that deduction? What actions would these people take to still avoid the police, but the police notice the different patterns?
What attracted the FBI agent- are they suspects for something, what is he investigating? Are they known to be dangerous or involved with criminals? I believe the FBI and police officers are taught to profile killers and criminals- how they're likely to act, what motivates them etc so they can guess their next move or anticipate how they might behave. Would be worth looking up and seeing if you could apply it to your idea.
Are there going to be witnesses? That would make it pretty clear - if the first group were heard talking about getting away from 'him' instead of 'them'.
Nope. The teens are just runaways. At most one has been caught shoplifting, but never charged due to her age. I checked into that. Neither matches and actual serial killer--no pattern of race or sex, no evidence of sexual contact or intent, and no evidence of doing anything for power or trophies (only untraceable cash stolen from victims). One seems to be traveling in no pattern, and one seems to be direct. Also, the answer to the next question: Not much. A few flea markets have seen the teens buying stuff with cash, but I'm not even sure if the FBI would even look into that. At most, a bum or two have been given shoes or shirts from the teens to hide evidence (in a way that hides their identities). Some people see the kid, though few see him doing anything but wandering around. Very few live to report him up close.
Hmm, in that case I'm sure an FBI agent would get involved with teenagers who were just runaways unless they were connected to crime or were witnesses, I think this would realistically be the remit for local police or for a private investigator depending on the resources of the teens families or other interested parties. I wasn't sure profiling would be appropriate due to the supernatural nature of the characters but worth a go. Could the agent be tracking the teens because of their connections to any of the disappearances/murders from the creature chasing them. Is it possible to rethink the FBI agent angle? You could be writing yourself into a hole- although an interesting one!
The teens have no close relatives, but there have been several murders across several states, which is why the FBI want's in on this. The teens are suspected as witnesses (I doubt they'd be pegged as culprits, though maybe accomplices). I'm rying to rethink the FBI angle. I just know it'd be big enough for the FBI to car and not just a precinct detective, given how widespread the murders have gotten.
That makes sense. I can only suggest then, at some point the teenagers get caught on CCTV or an item of clothing or something personal gets left behind in a struggle to give them a lead, otherwise the agents will have nothing to chase and the case will go cold. I know you said there are very few witnesses but you may need to introduce some even if they seem like crazy raving hobos who are good at hiding. And if you can't think of a way round it, just keep writing and you might have a light bulb moment further down.
