So I..... *drumrolls* Am writing an Isekai. Yes. That. If you're not familiar with the concept, its basically 'A connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's court'. Only mostly with teenage boys, truly ludicrous levels of uplift, and often, the protagonist often has supernatural powers. Infamous for having several thousand versions of the same concept, almost all, badly written. So I'm writing one, and I've kinda hit a snag. So here's the thing. I've got a character in a Conan-esque setting. In short, grim, dark, not optimistic, dislike and suspicion of sorcerers, with little to no nice magic, and where its rather grim. And so I have someone here, who not only reincaranted into an old, poor village up in an alpine climate in the mountains, but also via coincidence managed to gain magic powers out of it. Powers that lend themselves greatly to infrastructure building and supporting life, which for a village that was constantly on the verge of starvation and poverty, was a godsend. So here's the thing. I'm having an idea where the beginning of the story is my protagonist, walking around, creating canals and reshaping the soil and transmuting iron to turn into tools, helping the villagers create a far better life for themselves than 50% of the population in the age of Hyborea. But that time is actually a prologue. I'm planning to one day, have a king arrive to the village. He sees the things which are more reminiscent of a city, of massive stone buildings, of plants seen no where.... and he goes down to to the sorcerer, and asks for help. He's trying to do the right thing. Stop slavery. STop human sacrifice. Give money to the poor. Give rights to the common people. Stop abuse of people by the nobles. Stop horrible things from happening. The thing is, he's not powerful enough to do so. The nobles are pushing him back. Helping the poor is emptying the crown's coffers. Attempts to cease slavery is causing strife in the upper class who want them, because its good for money. Here's the thing. I'm going to have my protag go with him, to try and make his mark in the world. To make the world a better place. But is this too jarring? I'm going to make something that's been going on for 10 chapters or so, and then abruptly changing the scenery and the location. Will this cause attachment to drop off, or would readers be ok with that/
I'd suggest bringing your king in far earlier. Like, directly after the prologue because he is where your story begins. What's happening in those first 10 chapters that couldn't be taken out and have no consequence on the story? Or, what's happening in those 10 chapters that couldn't be said elsewhere, where it's more relevant and not an info dump of world building backstory? Another question for you, your character is a king right, he can do whatever he likes and his people just have to suck it up and deal with it. Unless you have a democratic king, in which case he's not exactly a king by anything more than that choice of those around him. If his being king is due to any sort of birth right then nobody really has any right to fight him on anything. Another thing regarding the king, if he's getting so much push back for trying to do decent things then he's not going about doing it in a way that won't have hard consequences for his people in some manner. People will do anything if they're told to do it in the right way, given the right incentive. In this case, most of the problem is with currently having unpaid labor. Monetary loss is a big thing for everyone, nobody likes it. So you really need to find a way to make the gains from his ideas more powerful than the losses. You can't just throw a magic kid into the mix and say 'here, all our problems are solved'. Not only is that a weak plot which many people go for, so it's over used as well as just being bad plotting, but it's also one kid. One person who will eventually die and then all the problems they were facing before he arrived suddenly are back again but they have nothing to fall back on now because they have no slaves. That village that he's helped cultivate life for on that mountain will die out once he leaves. His magic isn't there to help everything any more. They'd have become reliant on it, and thus lazy, but as soon as he leaves he takes their prosperity with him. Or perhaps I've just read too far into the idea. Thing is though, unless his magic permanently alters the world around him, which has it's own consequences, then he can't help too much or else it feels like a cop out. He sounds too powerful and too perfect for the kings purposes.
While I share some of the concerns GrJs has, I don't know enough about the tone or where in the happy/horrible spectrum you're aiming for. As for the actual question, I don't see a problem with changing locations as long as it's done smoothly. When you read your ten chapters, do you get the feeling readers would expect the entire book to be set in the village? If so, try to bring in hints here and there that there could be change. This could be as subtle or in your face as you'd like, and there are many ways to go about it: 1. Rumors Anything from traveling traders bemoaning the state of politics in the capital, to people heckling the king for his lack of power. 2. News In form of newspapers or pamphlets, if people are generally litterate. Else we have town criers, bards and the like. Billboards commisioned by the king requesting help etc. 3. Emissaries Perhaps there could be someone heralding the kings arrival. Alternatively you could have a scene where someone close to the king "discovers" your MC, and sees what he can do. Maybe this person will say "The king will be very interested to hear about this. Expect us to meet again." Or something like that. Of course any combination of these, and additional things you may come up with could be fine. It's all in the writing, and that's the hard part. I'm strongly against the idea of scrapping your previous chapters, but revisions may be in order. Now, if nothing truly happens in these chapters, maybe you could cut a few... Get that plot going and whatnot. I hope that was at least somewhat helpful. Good luck, my dude!
I think you've got an interesting setup, but you also have some problems. Either that, or I'm not seeing enough. First of all, you are in great danger of making this all too easy. If all the nice King needs is a good sorcerer to come around, wave his hands, and everything is hunky-dory ...there isn't much of a story, is there? First of all, you need an antagonist ...or rather a force that works against these two. What is it that will make this task nearly impossible? It has to be nearly impossible for the story to be interesting. What's at stake? What is the sorcerer vulnerable to? What is the king vulnerable to? These guys have GOT to be able to lose—and lose big—otherwise winning has no meaning. You want your readers to be on the edge of their seats here. The sorcerer has to have limitations. The danger with making any magical system is making it nearly infallible. It has to be conditional to be interesting. Does the sorcerer have to sacrifice something in order to do magic? What makes it difficult for him? What can his magic do? What can't his magic do? And do these things ever clash? Ditto the King. (Who sounds to me like he might be a very interesting and sympathetic fellow.) He's a KING ...and yet he can't get done what he wants to do. Why? What's holding him back? Lack of money and pressure from nobles is pretty good. But what does a sorcerer bring to the mix? Is there a downside to bringing in a sorcerer? There has to be, or this is too easy. I think you won't have a story until you get the other side of it in place. What you've got here at the moment is a solveable problem and a fairly easy solution. Make the problem less solveable, and the solution a very difficult one. Make the outcome far from predictible. Make the price of failure HUGE.
Well, the story is set in Conan, Hyborea. That's enough already. The king is the ruler of a city-state, which has recently been on a downswing. Prosperity itself has been going down, with people losing jobs, losing their lives, and all around despair. In the previous regime, under a really shitty and evil/ neglectful king, a bunch of parasites came into being. Nobles/ powerful men, who like their independence, power, and like being able to do whatever they want. They're rich and connected, and if they band together, they can overthrow the king. And he can't kill them all, cause they're the lynchpin of the economy and killing them all will cause the entire place to collapse. The neglect meant that dark sorcerers, priests of evil gods, and corruption within the place itself. There's funky shit going on in the city. Dark gods. Cthulu. Men and beast, and mixtures of both. Demons and ghosts. Talks of drugs which could let you see 'The Other world'. They can't root it out, and even if they could find these cults, they have support from the higher ups that hamstring any attempt to destroy them. The funds are nearly dry, what with frequent spending on feasts, embezzlement, neglect of estates, and simple waste. The newly minted king currently has little to no support. Not enough money to outbid loyalty from the nobles and various merchant princes, and if he tries to stop the dark cults from doing their thing, they're going to send demons after him. Demons that either take supernatural expertise to stop, or lots of resources like lots of loyal guards. And that he doesn't have. All he has is a few advisors, and a retinue of loyal soldiers. But not much else. And certainly not enough to push any of his desires and reforms out. Well, I'm starting with social ills first. And then rooting out the corruption within not only the court, but the entire government. And then trying to push back against the cults and some such within the dark places. Things after that come from trying to revive a city whose agriculture has been whacked by increased salt levels, fighting off warlords coming to conquer, and more powerful sorcerers trying to grab the protag. The price of failure is death, torture, destruction of the city, and at worst, the mass sacrifice of the entire city's populace to fuel the summoning of dark god. I'm trying to make the setting gritty. It is grimdark. Its more on the horrible spectrum. My protagonist will not have clean hands after this. Nor a clean conscience. I think you read too far. My sorcerer's abilities include mass shifting of stone (like earthbending) and a spell rapidly grow plants in a large area that works once a year. And also he can inflict mutations (changes) on living creatures. So far, all he has done is rebuild houses, dig several more wells, make hot springs, and create several new creatures (that are suited for the cold, mountainous area he lives in) to stop famine and malnutrition. I recommend you watch this: And read up on the history of the Confederacy
Okay, that's great. You DO have a difficult setup then. Brilliant! (Sorry, but from your original thread post I didn't see any of this.) I've picked up two things. First, your sorcerer from the hills will have major opposition from other sorcerers. He's just one, and they are many ...and presumably don't want to let go of their status. So what has he got going for him that they don't? There must be something. And the king has an uphill struggle to convince people that he's not like his predecessor. (Was his predecessor his father? That makes it a lot more interesting, doesn't it?) However, what the king has going for him is that the people are suffering. If he can demonstrate to them that he's on their side, then he'll be able to move forward. And since his sorcerer has been doing good things for the people he lives with, he will no doubt command their loyalty, although they probably won't want to leave their comfortable village and go out into the big bad world. However, perhaps a couple of them would? Maybe a few young people, who are idealistic and brave? I think your key here is to focus on what the other side doesn't have. The other side has been oppressing non-gentry for many years. This sounds familiar, actually ...the basis of most revolutions in real history. That's why revolutions happen. People have had enough of being oppressed, and decide to figh. Most of the people on the ground will be more than ready for change, won't they. If they are convinced that this new King is a different sort of beast from the old one—and how did that happen? surely he could have just stepped into the old king's shoes and did what the old king did?—they may be prepared to fight for their freedom. Fight, as in take up arms AND fight, as in work to bring the current regime down any way they can. Your king sounds a bit like Robert The Bruce, who, at one point, only had 14 followers with him, and an entire country out looking to capture him and kill him. People go on about William Wallace, who WAS undoubtedly a brave patriot. But it's Bruce whose patience and strategy and courage won the day—and I think he's the more interesting of the two. You could do worse that read Nigel Tranter's trilogy about The Bruce, and see how he rose from being a small-time noble (albeit he had valid claim to the throne) to be King of Scotland, and then go on to win its independence from a shower of rich, ruthless people. The only thing Bruce lacked that your King has is the magic. Your key to success is probably the people. And the potential for other 'good' sorcerers.
And not just that. He's in the world of Conan the barbarian. Where most are evil. And sorcerers are eviller than most. I've read the rpg. Sorcerers use power points to cast spells. These power points recover slowly. And you can speed them up using expensive drugs that risk addiction.. Or you can carry out sacrifice. With human sacrifice of virgins being the most powerful. There are other things. Learning spells is long and hard... But if you make a deal with an evil monster like a demon and pay it off with humans or torture, it'll teach you spells and give you power. The default reaction to a sorcerer in this universe isn't friendliness or apathy. It's either hate or terror. Because most sorcerers have murdered at least one innocent person. And that's not involving the mental corruption with certain spells... In fact, the king seeking out the protags for assistance in this matter is a mark of exteme desperation. The world is replete with legends and stories of people seeking or accepting help from sorcerers, only to meet with strange and terrible fates.
I think I'll back out of this thread at this point. I'm not a rpg player or particular fan, so I'm not really on top of what you're trying to create or what you are working from. I'll leave the field to others who might have a better idea of how to help. Good luck with your project. I think there are quite a few people here who are into this kind of worldbuilding. Me? I love historical fiction, so I'm a bit limited.
This is the reason I didn't want to voice any concerns beforehand I think this is a major way to soften the blow of "leaving home" to the readers. A location is one thing, but characters makes the setting too. Bringing along someone familiar might be a game-changer. This is a very neat concept! A little off-topic, but how do these demons manifest? Do you just find out where they have their spell shops (Quick, and with a near zero chance of major injuries such as blindness and death!)? Or do you consult a cultist? Also, I'm guessing you're not gonna use words such as "spell points" in-universe. That was just a way to explain it here, right?
You can summon them. And they'll teach you. In fact, there are even more mechanics in the rpg I'm basing this on. Using certain spells or making bargains with the demons or even having peaceful contact with the monsters of the outer dark is cause for corruption and insanity, either making you mad or making you evil. Spell shops? No, you summon them. Personally, though I'm torn on it. One part of me wants to have the protag be able to use a type of sorcery that's pretty much different from the rest, letting him bypass most of the power backlash and bad effects while simultaneously having to deal with the effects of his peers' actions. "Yes, yes, I summoned a hundred demons for the battle. No, that does not mean I made deals with a hundred different demon lords and carried out mass human sacrifice." On the other hand, that makes him seem... Mary Sue-ey?
Huh. I think there's an other idea. Different expectations and behaviours. In the old village, you'e expected to pull your weight. To contribute. To do things. There, building of infrastructure and helping out in the harvest is expected and gives you status. In the capital? In the court? Its about presentation. Its about status. Its not always about doing things like 'make something practical'. Conspicuous consumption is the name of the game, and losing it means losing social status.
It's all in where you want the threat to lie. Defeating an army is good and all, but the most dangerous knives are those you don't see coming. Additionally, there may be other, different unforseen consequences to dabbling in protags sort of magic. Unsummon those demons? Sorry, I'm afraid I can't let you do that. Maybe the consequences could manifest a long time after the spell has been cast too. Maybe all he did to help in the village is undone (or worse), or maybe not. You can always be selective about which events get affected. The spell needs to be strong enough, or whatever. Political intrigue is always intriguing, though. People don't even have to hate what he does, only the influence he commands (if he gets popular with certain people). Politics can always take a dark turn, and it's a constant struggle for power. As you mentioned, all threats don't have to be physical. Slander in combination with the bad reputation magic wielders already has can turn many against him. Sometimes there's no substitute for a good foot of steel while they think you're sleeping, though... I want to say no here, but it's really delicate. The magic "has to" have some weaknesses. Either that, or you'll have to really work to make those scenes interesting. On the other hand, a battle scene doesn't have to be JUST a battle scene. Perhaps someone doesn't want him to succeed, or at least not to get the credit. Also. Spies. Lots of them.
Well, the magic does have a charge up time. Anyone that hits him by surprise, or stabs him in the back, wins. Alternatively, his magic is based on big blasts and grand scale attack. Get a dozen men to attack him at once from multiple directions will kill him. Maybe he tries to create entire new economies (e.g. altering the soil for good crops and trying to recruit the citizenry) but people try and stop him, because this state of affairs grant them power and wealth? Like, say, maybe I have the city be in the aftermath of a pseudo-mongol attack. They smashed the aqueducts, and basically the entire region is smashed with the fields having long died. There is starvation and pain, except for those who can afford to ship food from elseswhere. Our protag can easily rebuild the canals and alter the soils to be the most fertile on earth, then grant a blessing to double the growth. The problem? This cuts into the profits of all of the merchants and sellers which depend on this... trade of food to get cash. And the ones who get the most money are the ones who have large networks or are the newy King's own supporters. Fixing the issue of the food supply may lead to a rebellion, weakening of your new ally's power base, or a rebellion as the nobles seek to keep their money flow.
I like it! Many nobles rely on taxations from the pesantry, so most of the nobles would probably think this is a fantastic idea, and the king might get more support from the common people (if they know that it was him who ordered this.) Merchants are a good idea for the opposition, if you have a powerful trade class in your society. Any nobles who doesn't own any land (can't think of a good example) might also get annoyed, since power is relative, and other nobles gaining wealth is essentially a loss for them. I don't know if rebellion is more likely or less so, with the situation (somewhat) stabilized. They'd have less incentive, but it's also easier to rebel when you're not worrying about how to eat. I'm historically inept though, so I'm not the best source of info here. You could perhaps have the devestation of the farmlands occure in a battle the MC has part in early on in the "city arc". Who's to say MC didn't CAUSE much of the destruction in the heat of the moment? Even if he didn't, such rumors could be a way to turn the farmers against him. Not really fond of this idea, but it was cool before I wrote it down.
Historically famines have been a cause for rebellions. As for the protags doing it... Nah. I disagree. It was meant to be Baghdad after the Mongols smashed the irrigation system. Mismanagement. Plagues. Bad leadership. Corruption. Evil cults. This is the twilight of the city state. It is the end for them. Of course, another thing I'm having is the tension between the king and the protag. One side has ostensible power and loyalty and commands the entire city with all its attendant benefits. The other side can command the weather, summon demons and elementals, and build city walls in a day. People will wonder who is the real power.
would it be possible for him to travel a bit right from the start and spread the improvements around to a handful of villages instead of just one? IE: one site has a good water supply but no sewage handling ability, while another has desperate water supply issues, but a deep ravine where sanitation can be dumped so not the same immediate problem. Then the contact could be more by paths crossing with the king who is trying to solve different problems. I don't think early Kings had the sort of absolute power suggested by another crit - it seems reasonable to me that there would be a balance of power issue between the nobles and king.
