YA? (It has young people but there's a lot of content that isn't very appropriate for the age group.) Fantasy I'm working on a scene that involves two people who are being held captive by a mind manipulating vampire. In it, that captor manipulates the two minds into believing that they are being rescued. My question is, should I make the manipulation end by making them believe that it was real but ended in disaster? Or make the fake rescue a success but have it ripped away when they realize it had never happened? Thoughts? Questions? Concerns? Please be completely honest, even if it's brutal. That is the only way that I'll be able to make it better.
Welcome to the site! Do you write from both characters' POVs? Maybe we see one character think that the rescue failed, then we see the second character think that the rescue succeeded (confusing the reader at first) until the second character is shown that the vampire had been using mind manipulation and that neither scene had actually happened? (Also, it sounds like you're describing an adult story about YA characters more than a YA story)
Thank you! I hope this site will help me whenever I might need it! (And thank you for clearing up the YA issue. I'm a pretty new writer and wasn't quite sure, even with the millions of books I've read.) I really like that idea about the split view for the manipulation but, unfortunately, I'm sticking with a single, third person POV.
How old is the main protagonist? YA is determined by the age of the MC, not by theme. YA can get pretty damn dark and explicit! I think either of those endings could work. The latter sounds harder on the characters, and good authors put their characters through as much hardship as they can bear. I'd be inclined to go with that one. Spoiler: Movie Spoiler You might also want to watch 47 Metres Down, the recent shark movie. It has a similar ending and might give you some ideas.[/quote]
That's a good point. Thank you! The ages range from 15 to 25 but, since there are vampires involved, most of those are based on appearance.
Vampires are definitely powerful creatures, a mere human won't be able to undo their magic unless they are a heroic type. I would think fake rescue ends in them dying and realizing it was a farce rescue. ETA: Like torturing your victims before you eat them. I think pov from all characters would be a good idea. Third person.
I understand your view on this. I just want to clarify the direction I'm going. The ending where the escape is a success but then is snatched away to realize that it was fake--that ending doesn't have anything to do with the human undoing the vampire's manipulation. If the manipulation is set in this way, it is solely because it was the vampire's decision. The vampire is a deranged, psychopathic creature because of how it became a vampire and wants nothing more than to destroy others in return. If I do this ending, it will be repeated multiple times in different ways. And the whole point for the relief and happiness of these escapes to be ripped away once the vampire ends the manipulation is to break the vampire's captives and make them believe that there is no hope for rescue. If there are any more concerns that I can help clear up, I'd love to do so. Talking all of it out like this really helps me to make the best decision for my book.
I would go with that idea, it will be a mind job if you can pull it off. I would write you endings out and test the waters with the workshop and gain some feedback. Beta readers will be helpful in this as well. Good Luck!
