Online Dating

Discussion in 'The Lounge' started by Heather Louise, Apr 11, 2008.

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  1. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Oh...sorry for you..........try France next..........some pretty ladies around there..........though they eat funny stuff "scrunches nose"
     
  2. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

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    Lord fo Hats in Greece

    Luckily the search isn't taking as long as I feared. Slightly less than half the worlds population is male and I've never been to interested in guys in such a way. Then there's the fact taht at least half the women in the world are too old for me, and anothe half of those remaining are already married or in a relationship. That's like, less than a billion... sigh. I'll go back to the interviews.
     
  3. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Oh, then you'd better go to India next......the proportion of girls there is East........I've got plenty of good friends I could fix you up with if you're intersted. But I'm warning you, Indian girls are bombs, so be ready with ointment....lol
     
  4. Rickie writes

    Rickie writes New Member

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    Just curious...haw many people posting on this subject are over 21?

    Please don't flame me because I'm suggesting that as you get older you thoughts...well...um...mature. I mean well and wish all of you well. :)
     
  5. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I am - barely ;)
     
  6. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

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    fyi, loh... 'blind dates' were fairly common way back when i was a teen... and that was over 50 years ago, not just 20-30!:eek:

    that answers your question, rickie...

    loh, what the fleep are you doin' flippin' all over europe?...
     
  7. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

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    Much to learn i still have :rolleyes:

    Lord of Hats from South Africa

    By probability, if I interview every woman in the world I'm bound to find a good number I like. Then If I do further screening I'm bound to find some I really really like, so on and so forth. That special someone is out there somewhere... sometime sit makes me wish this was like a fantasy story and I had a map...
     
  8. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    What's the to believe in? I mean that word is thrown around all the time. People say they love each other even if they don't. Guys say it to get into a femalese pants. females say it, because they desire to be in love. Love is a myth. A fairytale. I thought I loved a guy once, had kids to him, and in the end I was left running out on him while he was away. Why? Because it was the only safe way to end the relationship.

    If love does exist...it's a rare phenominom now. I could say I know many successful relationships...but honestly I don't. Because most of the people I have spoken to that have been married for well over 10 years, have said, and I quote "I do care extremely deeply for my husband/wife, maybe I do love him/her, who can be sure really. But sometimes I wish we weren't married. Would make our friendship so much easier."

    Someone rather close to me said that although she loves her husband very much, she wishes he would leave her so she can enjoy herself for a while. Not have him to worry about, to just think of herself for a while.

    So if that is what married and IN LOVE people are saying....why the hell should I believe love is possible?
     
  9. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

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    Love is a word that gets thrown around alot, that's for sure. I've never once told a girl I love them (Except my mom and sister of course but they're givens). I did love a girl once, and I seriously mean love her to the point where I would want nothing more but to live the rest of my life with her, but sadly I never really realized it till our parents had both be reassigned to different bases. EDIT: Doubt I'll ever see her again. :(.

    I think the primary problem with "love" these days is that alot of people expect it to be this perfect relationship where nothing bad ever happens which is poppy cock. My mom and dad love eachother more than any couple I've ever met and they have arguements often enough. Love isn't a perfect relationship, love is when you like someone so much that your willing to make sacrifices to be with them and are willing to forgive their little quirks and faults that may upset you in order to stay together. Its, in a stereotypical term, a working partnership where both parties have a strong desire to maintain a commitment to one another.

    I agree that its rare. Besides my mom and dad, I've met maybe a dozen couples who strike me as actually loving eachother and maybe three or four dozen who are together for convienence, or who probably weren't meant to be together to begin with. Its certainly a complicated issue.

    I personally never believed in marriage per se. Its pretty much just a fancy ceremony in my eyes. Love in the sense I view is an emotional/spiritual bond betwen family members, close friends, and partners of the opposite or same sex. For couples, I define love as two individuals reaching a level of understanding and emotional/spiritual connection that defies rational explaination and has taken them to a certain bond that no one seems to be able to put into words (Including me, I thought for like, five minutes how best to describe it). I know for a fact that if my mom or my dad were to die today, the other would be an emotional wreck for the rest fo their lives.

    I don't see the point in any fancy parties or rituals to show such a bond between individuals (That might just be my distaste for weddings though. A dozen aunts and uncles get married and I'm at every single one! The horror XD).

    That was a long one... I'm done now :D
     
  10. Cogito

    Cogito Former Mod, Retired Supporter Contributor

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    I believe in love. It's not all about sweaty clingy feelings or control, but it does exist. Yes, it is rarer than most people believe, and endiures through hardship.

    Of course, writers and philosophers have tried to define it for centuries, but that definition remains elusive. The best that has been done is to enumerate the countless things it is not.
     
  11. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Love is sitting down at night and watching blood and guts spill over my TV. HAHAHAHA!

    Cause I love watching blood and guts! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

    But seriously, there are more people out there pretending to be in love then there are people who truly are inlove. So how can one believe in it? And Cogito how can anyone believe in something that can't be defined? And I feel that you can have that strong bond and all that other soppy stuff without truly loving someone....people do it all the time without loving each other or giving a damn about each other. So why bother with an emotion a feeling, that you can't even be positive is how you feel about someone in the first place? I mean you never really know if you are infact in live or not. You might think you are for the next 6 months...but love is unconditional right? In 6 months, you partner wakes up and you are looking into his/her eyes and suddenly....you realise that you don't love them and you never really did.
     
  12. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Love is rare. It's also not binary. You can, for example, love to different degrees (i.e. loving someone more than someone else) and in different ways (familial, platonic, erotic, etc, etc). I also don't think that this matter is strictly on topic. I'd recommend the starting of a "love" thread, if this debate is to continue.
     
  13. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    lol sorry my bad :p
     
  14. Banzai

    Banzai One-time Mod, but on the road to recovery Contributor

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    Not just you, it was a general drifting of the conversation (as opposed to someone threadjacking :p)

    Isn't it odd, that I'm the voice of reason?
     
  15. lordofhats

    lordofhats New Member

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    Love is an abstract thought. Its not really something you can easily put it into words. People have created explainations to describe and define it. You can say its that warm fuzzy feeling inside, or that sense of completion you get from being around someone else, but none of these descriptions cover it all. Since love lacks a physical form, and because there is so much confusion about what it is, its harder to write down what it is.

    There is a difference between loving family, loving a friend, and loving a spouse or partner. Observation shows that the emotional responses when one of the three is lost differ greatly (In general but it varies on the individual). We expect family to die. We know they will someday and though we don't conciously think of it when that time does come, we've been preparing ourselves psychologically for decades prior to the event.

    The bonds of friendship are strong, but no where near as strong as those of family or a spouse/partner (Loving family and that someone has something else involved that is lacking in friendly love). My dad's lost alot of friends in the last 15 years but he's still rolling. I've never heard of anyone who's willing to throw everything they have away just to help a friend.

    There is an extra something involved in the "love" of a romantic partner or family. This extra something is what no one can figure out and that no one can explain. This extra something is such a major attachment, that the lost of a partner is often one of the most life shattering experiences anyone can endure, right up there with losing a family member or a child. Its so strong that many people are willing to throw away everything they can to support or help those they share the connection with.
     
  16. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Yes but now you are deviating off topic my friend lol :p

    But seriuosly I don't see the problem with meeting someone online and then organising to meet in person. You get one chance at life, live it up, have fun, just be careful.
     
  17. Daniel

    Daniel I'm sure you've heard the rumors Founder Staff

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    In the defense of men, not all men are as made has portrayed. I know many a few a select few guys who are neither uncaring nor doing everything for sex. Those who are manipulative or uncaring as described are shallow, shallow people. There are many like that, yes, but there are good guys out there too. Just because you haven't met them doesn't mean they don't exist. I will admit that love is rare, as are successful relationships. But that doesn't make it unattainable.

    To answer the original questions, however, I'm unsure if I'd ever date someone over the internet. I think I could meet people in person that I've met online though (not necessarily as a romantic relationship), especially if they lived at least somewhat nearby (like, same state). I don't think you can love someone you don't really know though, but that doesn't mean you can't "know" someone over the internet. It's just harder.
     
  18. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    Yeah I guess all of them aren't tht bad........but some of them are pathetic creatures who shouldn't exist....
    As for online dating......it's well, uncertain....I for one would never date a guy from India online...cos they are so NOT trustworthy....and as fo meeting...
    wow! I doubt I'll ever do that.....I live in a real cosy town, where everyone knows everyone, and t's not like I would be able to date anyone beyond 17 or 18.....so chances for my are nil...zi....nothin'...zilch!
     
  19. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    well I am actually planning on meeting someone I met online from the UK. You may as well say we are involved in an online relationship at the moment and going to see where it can go....many of you won't agree with this at all. Not many people do actually. But at the end of the day it is the two people involved that matter. Things might turn out badly, but isn't it better to see what may happen then throw the chance at happiness away altogether? I know the risks and I have thought seriously about it for so very long now and I also trust him, he hasn't given me a reason not to trust him...you only live once and there is no point me sitting here the rest of my life, miserable, wondering, "what if?!"

    It isn't the most conventional way of meeting someone, but it is amazing how many truly wonderful people you can meet online. The guy I have met, I care for deeply and I hope that it worls out. If not, I've made myself a most wonderful friend. At the end of the day, if it makes us happy then why the heck not?!
     
  20. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    is it the big date six months down the drain?????


    The focus I may point out here is that this debate is mostly for adults, about the "I can meet him, I can't meet him" stuff, for minors, it's more like "should I or should I not" and most of us even go as far as to think what if, which is not that much of a matter for an adult. wait a min..........that din make sense did it?
     
  21. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    yeah it is actually Neha.
     
  22. Neha

    Neha Beyond Infinity. Contributor

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    I'm glad for you......
     
  23. Heather Louise

    Heather Louise Contributor Contributor

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    I know what you mean with that but sometimes I also is down to seperate people. I know people who are 15 and act like they are 5, and people who are 13 and act like they are 40. It is just down to the individual with that aswell.

    Sorry but lol. :p

    I agree with that actually, I think a lot of people think too much into things. Like thinking about whether you are in love or not, or every little thing that could happen. Stuff it and just jump in sometimes. Who cares if you do not love them, if is working for both of the you, does it need to be love. Maybe that's all love it, two people having a relashionship for them that actually works.

    Heather
     
  24. Torana

    Torana Contributor Contributor

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    Heather I wouldn't say just jump into an online relationship or to just randomly meet an online persona. It is something that requires a lot of deep and serious thought and planning...
     
  25. Heather Louise

    Heather Louise Contributor Contributor

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    Ni, I know that. I just mean that people are so untrusting and paranoid sometimes. Ok, yes things have happened which give us good cause to be a little wary, but just generally in life people do not trust enough and always expect the worse to happen.
     
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