1. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    Opinions on a story plot

    Discussion in 'Plot Development' started by mg357, Jul 23, 2018.

    I am seeking some opinions on this story plot, and I don't want you to hold anything back.

    Feel free to be brutally honest and don't sugar coat it.



    Single man dates brothers hot wife.

    Two brother's are having a guy's night out their eating having some drinks and just raising a little hell.

    The younger brother who has some sort of disability or Medical condition.


    complains to his older brother who is married to a very hot woman.

    about his terrible love life the older sibling being the good person that he is ,listens to younger siblings complaining, and is very sympathetic to his brother's situation.

    At the end of the night they say goodnight and head to their separate homes.

    During the drive home the married brother thinks about their conversation and when he gets home he talks to his hot wife and say's.

    " Honey I want you to go out with my brother a couple of nights a week I'm not asking you to have sex with him, just have a good time out on the town with him that's all"

    At first she says no because she thinks that maybe it's the alcohol that's talking, so the next day after he has recovered from his hangover.

    They have the same conversation and the wife says " oh what the hell why not your brother is a handsome man perhaps being seen out about in the town with me."

    " Will boost his self confidence self-esteem and maybe make the other single hot ladies jealous."

    So a couple times a week they go out on the town then one night the hot wife comes home and says."

    "Honey your brother wants to have sex with me. What are we going to do?"

    Her husband replies " if you want to sleep with him you have my blessing I won't get jealous or angry."



    "But I have just one condition if your decide to have sex with my brother after you finish you must come straight home and tell me every naughty detail."


    "What if this ends up being a long term thing? What if I get pregnant with your brothers baby?

    " If this ends up being a long term thing you still have my blessing to sleep with him, if you end up pregnant with his baby, then we will hire him to serve as the babies caregiver.

    "While we are at work during the day."

    when it's time for the hot wife and her brother in law to do the deed the hot wife puts on the sexiest most revealing outfit she owns

    Then after a nice night out on the town together they go back to the brothers very nice house and do the naughty.

    Deed then she goes home and tells her husband ever single detail and leaves nothing I repeat nothing out.
     
    Last edited: Oct 9, 2019
  2. Solar

    Solar Banned Contributor

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    It's less of a story plot, and more of a burial plot.
     
  3. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    Solar: are their any specific areas of the plot that I can change to make less of a burial plot?
     
  4. Solar

    Solar Banned Contributor

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    What genre is it?
     
  5. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    It doesn't feel so much like a story as fairly mild written porn with a little bit of plot as decoration--possibly too much plot, since it feels like the whole thing just exists to justify her recounting of the sexual encounter.
     
    mg357 likes this.
  6. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

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    That sounds fabulously absurd, unwholesome, and prurient. I like it!
     
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  7. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    Solar: It's part erotica part cheating some elements of romance and sex.

    So it doesn't fit a specific genre it covers several genres.
     
  8. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    I'm not seeing any cheating at all. Everybody's agreeing to everything.

    Which is a problem--your story appears to have no conflict whatsoever.
     
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  9. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    ChickenFreak: do you have any suggestions for conflict or potential conflict I could put into it.
     
  10. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    If you want a story, rather than just a bit of scaffolding for a scene of erotica, you need to make that story, yourself. Asking others to create it from the ground up isn't going to work.
     
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  11. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    I understand but I'm just asking for a suggestion on conflict that I can put into my plot, just a suggestion that's all.
     
  12. Laurin Kelly

    Laurin Kelly Contributor Contributor

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    Not Chicken, but there's a lot of conflict that could come from negotiating a an open marriage and/or polyamorous relationship. From the get go you have everyone 100% on board with this, which strikes me as very unlikely outside of pure porn. I would suggest reading existing fiction an non-fiction accounts of people in this kind of relationship; to me the possibilities for conflict would be endless, especially with the family aspect in play.
     
  13. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

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    Laurin kelly: thank you
     
  14. Solar

    Solar Banned Contributor

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    It might be more interesting if the younger brother has to work hard to persuade his sibling to
    go along with the idea. This would create some tension and possibly get the reader to keep
    turning pages to see if the elder brother relents and how it pans out.

    Just brainstorming.
     
  15. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

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    As long as the story contains a range of enjoyable cliches - I will choff along - to the end - in the dark.

    The married brother wracked by 'kink...' - every time he sees a pair of hot pants he foams at the mouth. And obviously with a penis like a twig. He often says idiotic things
    The other brother is nice in every way save for his lack of limbs, probably some kind of charity veteran.
    And the woman enjoys this brother's sense of humour. Ha ha ha all the time, And when the married brother makes love he thrusts at 240 thrusts per minute. The other brother is a 30 thrusts per minute master-specialist. Words in progress.
     
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