Hey, I am looking for opinions on the plot of my supernatural romance/action novel. The story revolves around a vampire who has risen to the position of crime lord in a small, but growing city in North Dakota by means of kidnapping, turning, and murdering humans visiting his city in order to manufacture a rare drug that is popular in the vampire community. For a while he is able to keep his second life a secret, while he attends college and attempts to keep up appearances of being happily settled in an arranged engagement in order to keep his parents in the dark. Then his childhood friend, a human, and at one point, the love of his life, turns up injured on his parents' doorstep on a night he was set to celebrate with his family. The main character concludes from this that someone was made aware of the connection between himself and the human girl, and that one of them or both of them is being watched by a member of the supernatural community. Knowing this, he decides to take the girl into hiding at one of his safe houses in order to protect her, but it soon becomes clear that his actions as a criminal are leading up to a war and he is faced with the decision of sacrificing with himself and everything he has worked to hide and to build in order to avoid a war and to save the girl he once -- and may continue -- to love. Thoughts?
I really like this plot . It's interesting and has a lot of potential. Of course it all comes down to how you manage to implement and execute this plot and bring it to life, but as far as the initial concept and idea goes, it's seems solid. More importantly it doesn't come of as a rehash of overused vampire stories and tropes. Now I'm only going off of the plot summary you have provided, and I obviously have no idea what your vampires are like nor how your novel is gonna ultimately look like, but I like what I see here, it seems original and kinda intriguing. Good Luck
Hey! In general I think the plot has potential, but there are some questions I ask myself just reading this short description. Maybe you already answered most of them for yourself and you don't have to answer them here. But as a reader I would want them in the story to make the plot believable and not only a series of events to imply drama that isn't really there. I hope you understand what I'm trying to say Anyway, here are some questions I asked myself: What are the rules in your universe? Do humans know about vampires? Is he from a vampire family? Why does he have to hide his doings then? Does the majority of vampires think it's immoral to kill and torture humans (or do they think of themselves as the surperior race)? Is it a vampire town or a mixed one? How does he choose who to kill (just people who visit? (How is it not obvious that people who take a vacation there never return?) Why does he keep his second life a secret? Is he ashamed or because of safety reasons? What's his motivation? Why is he killing humans if he's also friends with some? Does he simply not care? (Maybe check out an alignment chart?) Are relationships between humans and vampires bad? Why (purity?)? I like the conflict you create between his job and his personal feelings, I think that's what you'll catch the reader with! The setting is cool as well, not too cliché (that's what I'm always afraid of with vampire stories ), it sounds a bit like Breaking Bad Vampire style. What's important is to decide for yourself if you want the MC as a person who does bad things but with the right intentions/does bad things for the sake of it/... I hope I'm not coming of as too critically, that's not my intention and maybe you already thought of most of this yourself, if so, sorry! But the fact that I'm asking myself these questions shows that your plot is interesting and curious!
In the universe, I have created humans have been aware of the existence of vampires and other supernatural beings for centuries and have gone to war with them many times throughout history. However, in modern times, humans and vampires are considered equals, more or less. The fact that vampires live near immortal lives with exaggerated youth and otherworldly abilities is accepted as a fact, and yes, some do believe vampires are a superior being, but that is considered to be dangerous thinking. It is considered immoral for vampires to kill humans because there have blood banks set up where they can buy blood in bulk for their consumption and it isn't even unusual to find blood dispensers -- think coffee dispensers -- in public these days. However, the fact that some vampires kill humans just an accepted part of society and that's why vampire hunters exist. To hunt down the bad ones. The main character is from a vampire family, and the reason he is set up in an arranged engagement is because inter-species relationships between vampires and humans have been outlawed for hundreds of years. Thus he motives for killing humans stems from a deep seated resentment at the societal norms that they have worked to establish for his kind as well as a hatred for himself for being a vampire, and it is also an effort to squash his own well, disguised feelings for his human friend who he simply cannot bring himself to kill. However respected he may be as a criminal, he values his parents respect even more. He is from an old, well-respected vampire family who have worked hard to bring peace to the lives of humans and vampires. So he hides his criminal doings in order to maintain his family's view of him. And I think you may have gathered by now, that the city the story is set in is a mixed species town with some slight segregation between the two species. The main reason no one notices the disappearances is because, first of all, disappearances are not unheard of in large cities, so no one really thinks much of it outside of the police force. And the other reason is because the people who are targeted are usually part of a human trafficking ring organized by vampires worldwide. Does that answer all your questions?
