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  1. Killer300

    Killer300 Active Member

    May 1, 2011
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    Paralysis in Writing from Sex Scenes?

    Discussion in 'Erotica' started by Killer300, Nov 20, 2015.


    In the process of Nanowrimo, I'm now writing, at minimum, four stories with explicit sex scenes, and possibly soon five. The thing is, sex seems to creep into every story, as if it just comes out nowhere. Oddly, two of them are erotic horror, which is not exactly a common genre(yes, they do have genuine horror elements, or at least, theoretically.)

    Why does it matter? Well, as one can see with the title, damn these are hard scenes to write. I don't want to just skip over them, they're too important to the plot, and in the case of one of them, its become entirely about them. It'd be like removing all the fight scenes from a novel starring soldiers in war, and replacing it with terrible dialogue and teasing the reader with a promise the book never delivers on. Doesn't help that, for all I suck at writing them right now, they do take a lot of words, which is nice when you're trying to get words.

    Anyway, has anyone else found themselves just... stumbling into an erotic novel, if you will? Its awkward in my case because I just feel woefully unprepared to write them. Doesn't help my last attempt to write sex here seemed to show I was umm... not exactly stellar at it.:oops:
  2. Commandante Lemming

    Commandante Lemming Contributing Member Contributor

    May 8, 2014
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  3. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor

    Aug 12, 2015
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    London, UK
    There are two things I find difficult about them:
    1. Choosing words for genitals, because I hate pretty much all the words for genitals. Including 'genitals'.
    2. Showing them to people I know.

    Other than that, I don't get how they're more difficult to write that any other scene?
    Cave Troll likes this.
  4. SkadiaTrazon

    SkadiaTrazon New Member

    Sep 17, 2016
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    Chicago, IL
    There is an art to it. If the sex itself is important, but where he blows his load isn't. Perhaps try writing up to it, get almost all the way in, then skip to the end. (all puns aside here). It shows the act without going into full detail. You could also use that as a place holder and maybe touch up on it later if need be.
  5. cydney

    cydney Banned

    Jul 31, 2016
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    Sydney, Australia
    I love erotica. I love sex (scenes). But I don't have any advice for you except to be honest. Be very honest! Best writing in the world! Especially when it comes to sex, love, romance and erotica.
  6. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Dark, is it not? Contributor

    Aug 8, 2015
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    Where cushions are comfy, and straps hold firm.
    You should not be paralyzed from writing sex, it is part of life and very natural. The hardest thing I have found when trying to
    write anything with any form sexual atmosphere, be it the simple act itself or other more intricate things such as SM.
    What do I call the fun bits without sounding clinical, or at the other extreme too comical. There are plenty of slang terms
    for both the penis and the vagina, but how do you find something in the median from cock and pussy? Let alone for everything
    else that one might wish to describe, depending on what they happen to be licking, sucking, etc. Try being poetic, and you will
    be accused of being flowery. Being hard and blunt, too vulgar. And too simplistic, too clinical. At least that is what I have learned
    in my exp. Makes it really hard to get it right when you can't really win.

    This however does not mean give up, but simply keep experimenting until you get something that you find up to your standards and
    are comfortable with.

    And if you happen to be an octopus or a squid, simply rip off your arm and thrust it violently into your mates head/body/whatever
    an octopus/squid female has as a sex organ. (Don't worry the sperm filled limb will grow back). :supergrin:
  7. Fireloom

    Fireloom New Member

    Jan 8, 2017
    Likes Received:
    Melbourne, Asutralia.
    I definitely get this when writing sex scenes. Often how I write longer stories is on a point form that I detail more every time I revisit it, but I always find the points reserved for the sex scenes are disappointingly lacking. Coming back to the document and skimming over these disastrously sparse lines just stops me in my tracks. I know relatively what I want to happen in the scene but when I try to put that into words it gets stuck in the ether. My advice is to write just a little bit of it at a time. Get rid of the insecurities that come with writing this kind of scene and get it out on the page. Even if it's terribly blunt, or just a statement of the action, write it, skip it, then do it again later. Get used to writing these scenes. Think of the most important parts you want to portray to the readers, and start by mentioning those. Then do it again. soon you'll find that those little lines will become longer and longer.

    Also, dont put too much pressure on the quality of this writing. We all want our smutty scenes to be the pinnacle of prosaic and interesting writing. We hold it at a great standard that seems so hard to achieve we become daunted by writing it. Without lowering that standard, try to reassure yourself that it is still in the drafting stage. The drafting stage of writing doesn't have to be good, in fact it can downright terrible, but that's the point of drafting. It's hard to get comfortable with drafting less than your standard in normal writing, but it's even harder to do this with sex scenes. the most important part of writing sex scenes in the beginning is just writing them down and putting off the urge for it be brilliant in the first draft. because it's not going to be. eventually, when you and the scene is ready, you can/make it hat beautiful well of passion you want it to be, but you need the bare bones of the scenes first.

    Good with the sex scenes!
  8. jannert

    jannert Contributing Member Supporter Contributor

    Mar 7, 2013
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    I think it's important for a writer to stay in the 'voice' of their story, when writing any kind of scene. Don't isolate the sex scenes and write them differently from your other scenes. If you're writing a gritty story, write gritty sex scenes. Don't go all Georgette Heyer with them. Or, if you're Georgette Heyer, don't go all William Burroughs with them.

    Sex scenes are part of your story, and not a reflection of your life, any more than any other scene is a reflection of your life. Try not to be self-conscious. And as @Fireloom says, keep in mind you're just writing a draft. Get it out there. You can refine ANYTHING later on.

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