1. eden baylee

    eden baylee New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2010
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto

    Period vs. semi colon

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by eden baylee, Oct 22, 2010.

    Would a period be better before the last sentence?

    When Kim had booked her trip, she’d thought she was returning to a country that captured her heart the first time. She now realized that it wasn’t an affinity for Belgium that drew her back; it was the special bond with the Belgian who lived there.
     
  2. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2010
    Messages:
    11,489
    Likes Received:
    5,672
    Location:
    California, US
    I think the period would be better than a semi-colon. Seems to me a comma might be even better.

    I'd also get rid of the word "had" after "Kim."
     
  3. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    9,425
    Likes Received:
    6,042
    Location:
    Near Los Angeles
    I prefer a semicolon or possibly a comma. A period is too final; it separates the thoughts too much. (See what I did there?) ;)
     
  4. eden baylee

    eden baylee New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2010
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    I originally had a comma, but would that not create a comma splice?

    This is the last line of a story, so I wanted to make sure the punctuation was correct.

    Thanks for your thoughts.
     
  5. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2010
    Messages:
    11,489
    Likes Received:
    5,672
    Location:
    California, US
    I don't think it is a comma splice, but I'm not a grammar guru so someone else can chime in.

    I don't see "it was the special bond with the Belgian who lived there" as an independent clause. Is it one?
     
  6. eden baylee

    eden baylee New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2010
    Messages:
    40
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto
    Hmm, I consider it an independent clause only because it could stand alone as a sentence, although you wouldn't know what it means without the first part of it.
     
  7. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2010
    Messages:
    11,489
    Likes Received:
    5,672
    Location:
    California, US
    True. I guess the unclear meaning without the first part was influencing my view of it.

    You could say something like:

    "She now realized that it wasn’t an affinity for Belgium that drew her back but the special bond with the Belgian who lived there."

    And avoid the issue, I suppose. But stylistically it changes things.
     
  8. zaffy

    zaffy New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2010
    Messages:
    251
    Likes Received:
    0
    She now realised that it was not the affinity for the Belgium that drew her back, but the special bond with the Belgium who lived there.


    If we know the Belgium lived there, you could take off 'who lived there'.
    She now realised *that* it was not the affinity for the Belgium that drew her back, but the special bond with the Belgium.

    You could also leave out *that*.
     
  9. digitig

    digitig Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2010
    Messages:
    2,498
    Likes Received:
    80
    Location:
    Orpington, Bromley, United Kingdom, United Kingdom
    A colon would be grammatically valid and I think it would work well stylistically. And I would keep the word "had" after "Kim": it places it in the past relative to the narrative, not in the past of the narrative itself.
     
  10. Noya Desherbanté

    Noya Desherbanté New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2010
    Messages:
    173
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    wishing I was somewhere else...
    I am a self-confessed semi colon junkie, I think it's an extremely powerful, under-used little dot. I think the sentence looks just fine with it in :)
     

Share This Page