While I like to avoid over description, so the reader can construct their own image, a beta reader commented that they would have liked more description of the MC earlier in the book. I wonder if anyone would care to share some examples of how they have described characters in their writing. I am talking normal contempory humans here, I know there are a lot of fantasy writers here.
This is from my WIP Falling Child Star - it's about a relationship between a director and his child star. Here's something from Chapter 1 - Kavado is the mc - that's the bulk of his description later on a pot belly is mentioned. From chapter 2 - Later on in the scene he sums up the description by giving the reader the final impression or his final impression - I try to weave the description into meetings and or by contrast with another character especially as in the first instance - Kavado knows Marcus so a description wouldn't exactly be necessary but they broke off their working relationship for years and have gotten together in just recently - allowing me to 'justify' Kavado contrasting their appearances. Finlay gets the most detail cause they're just meeting and when he gets a makeover I go into great lengths with that description mainly because he's the star and so much of the story revolves around his image that the fussy description echos the fuss people make over his appearance. The fact that Kavado is never admired for his appearance is what makes me limit his description and I allow his personality to shape the image. I'm not big on character descriptions either. I try to let an impression of something - the bad combover, combined with his attitude - carry the image. For Finlay's it's his eyes.
I sometimes don't even do physical descriptions at all, but when I do I try to keep them short and sweet, just enough to distinguish the characters from each other. Something like: 'Eric stepped through the door, shoulders touching both sides and reddish brown hair brushing the top.' And maybe a few sentences later: 'Ronnie sat hunched in the chair, skinny arms and intense squint-eyed stare making him resemble a wicked mosquito deciding which one he was about to bite.' I just made these up on the spot, so they're not even first-draft material. Once these traits are established I can just refer back to them with a single word or 2 later to keep the images in mind and associated with the names. For instance: 'The much taller Eric leaned in...' and 'A black concert shirt hung from Ronnie's emaciated frame like from a clothes hangar.'
Well, here's one of my favorite descriptions of all time, from Neil Gaiman's "Neverwhere": It's witty and clever, and while the details are minimal, they're crystal clear. It's the contrast between the two characters that really lets the imagination build on what's there. As for my own, descriptions, like you, I don't do much. But you got me curious, so I looked through some stories and found a few examples. The ones I liked best seem to follow a similar pattern: one or two sentences of straight description, a characteristic action, and a metaphor (often animal-related). This is from a retelling of the Gordian Knot legend: An art student at a nude figure drawing session: A bandit (Marauder) is holding up a shop owned by an older woman and her father: So that was kind of interesting. I'd never really thought about my process, just went with what felt right at the time, but now that I have I might work on refining it. Nifty.
To me this is very confusing, because he keeps flipping the 2 characters. First it's Croup and Vandemar, then they're reversed each time they're mentioned. It's too many quick reversals for me to keep up with, I'd almost have to make a list to figure out who looks like what.
Huh, I had actually never noticed that, but it's a good point. If I ever do steal, er, adapt the structure, I'll have to keep that in mind.
Unless specific characteristics are necessary to the story, I rarely say much about it. I'll give hair color and basic stats, but the reader can just make all of that up in their heads.
Great stuff. I am thinking of weaving a description into dialogue, as one character describes him to another. While we are here I thought I would share this one. Always kind of liked it. The buzzer went and Alex shuffled off toward the door, he returned with a short blonde women of about fifty, wearing a pink track suit. She was heavily made up and her haggard face looked like she had borrowed it from someone with a bigger head. She produced a little bottle of pills and shook it like a Maraca, speaking with a strong Geordie accent she said, “There’s forty-eight left Gez, twenty ok?”
If your story is first-person perspective, detailed character description is pretty acceptable. A character creatively describing another character's appearance can be a fun way of providing a detailed description. If your story is not first-person, there are still creative ways to describe a character's appearance: something like a character detailing their facial features in a mirror, then they suddenly pull a bit of fancy trickery and say that it's what they "Wish" they looked like. Then they can go into detail about their actual features. It's a creatve way of describing how a character wishes to look, while juxtaposing it with how they really look.
Personally speaking, unless a character's physical attributes are important to the story, give the reader the ability to decide for themselves what the character looks like. And if you must describe a character, don't use the mirror method info dump, especially if there's nothing particularly remarkable about how the character looks. Many writers have an image of a character in their mind and try to describe exactly what this person looks like. It's boring and unnecessary junk detail, especially if your character is a classically beautiful woman or handsome male. Even if you were somehow able to produce a perfect image of your character in a reader's mind, what would be gained by it in terms of story? Best to draw attention to any attributes that also provide insight to their character or behaviour.
Forums are filled with questions about individual aspects of story-telling but the key knowing that all the aspects and disciplines should work together. Descriptions are part of literal POV (also referred to as the POV camera). "Careful to avoid detection, the tall black woman trailed the white woman through the aisles of the Walmart store." The narrator is taking the reader on a journey. This is the first line of a scene so there is a visual component. Where was the narrator when he witnessed this activity? Obviously some distance away because 'tall black woman" and "white woman" were the only major details he noticed. If the writer wants to give a more detailed description he should wait, have the narrator join the characters in queue at the checkout. This technique has dual benefits: the narrator is much closer and better able to describe the characters / action. e.g. "A hand, fingers punctuated by red-painted nails, thrust forward a gold credit card." But there is a pause in the 'large' action giving the narrator time to offer a description.
I had similar feedback a while from some beta readers. I tend to be very sparse with physical description as well. echoing some advice from above: don’t give description from the POV of the character you are describing. I’ve done this, and the feedback was, why would she describe her own feet as small? It was a good point and it pulls people out of the narrative. I don’t think there is a downside of going the direct route: “Out of the corner of Barkley’s eyes, the saloon doors swung open. His eyes snapped up from the aces full of kings boat he was unsuccessfully slow playing, to see the giant he would later know as MonteCarlo stride through the door. He stood shoulder-to-brow with the other patrons, white t stretched thin over his sculptured chest, Mediterranean bronze complexion, the only sign of his decline the stiff way he moved, as if a lifetime of iron and steel had finally called in its debts.” obviously this gets tricky with main characters, because whose POV do you use to describe them? I also think some critiquers feel obliged to give helpful advice. If they reach all the way to “I have trouble imagining what the character looks like” maybe you’ve done a pretty good job with the rest. Not every point of critique needs to be addressed
The best way, in my opinion, to learn to do this is to read stories/novels that you like, and see how those authors pull it off. I suspect you'll find that most of them do the descriptions in small bits. Perhaps the hair colour is IMPORTANT in one particular scene ...but the height, weight, eye colour, musculature, beauty, etc is not? And so forth. I think the main thing is to ensure that your description sticks. So making the physical characteristics important AT THAT MOMENT is the key, really. It's a trick to do, so it's a good idea to work out how other known and respected authors do it. I also think it works best when the description is filtered through the eyes of another character, and have it connected to what EFFECT the person's looks has on the person doing the describing. Red hair may be that person's ideal of physical beauty and perfection. Or it might be the colour that reminds them of their father, who used to beat them black and blue. Or it might be the kind of red that can't be achieved with hair dye (and why.) Or it reminds them of a person they once loved who has now died ...and this seems to be a reincarnation? See if you can work your description to do more than provide a colouring book guide.
