1. boopy_cupid

    boopy_cupid New Member

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    aussie!

    poem rater

    Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by boopy_cupid, Oct 17, 2006.

    this game is really easy. all you do is make up a small poem and post it then the next person rates it and posts another one like this:

    person 1: roses are red violets are blue i think i'm in love with you!
    person 2: 6/10 lisa cherry and little merry are so nice when thier eating rice!
    exc.....

    i'll start:

    cakes and pies
    lakes and lies
    you and me
    can have some tea
    of cakes and pies
    then go swim in the lakes of lies
     
    katina likes this.
  2. Felony

    Felony New Member

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    Out in the middle of nowhere
    7/10

    People die
    I wonder why
    If peace would come
    The world would be one
     
  3. Laimtoe

    Laimtoe New Member

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    I give you a 6/10

    I'm not so sure if I understand the game but I'll write a short poem I guess... even though I hate poetry and suck at it.

    It's not that I'm wrong.
    you just strung me along -- in territory I don't belong.

    Why are you blaming me?

    You knew this would happen erelong.
    I'm leaving.
    I'm gone.

    Eh... I don't know about you, but I hate it.
     
  4. Felony

    Felony New Member

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    4/10

    The pain inside
    I cannot hide
    What I feel I can't confide
     
  5. Spherical Time

    Spherical Time New Member

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    Everywhere, Always
    7/10

    Trapped and held,
    Fixed to this serious pillow.

    My limbs are not my own,
    I am robbed of being me,
    Lost to a doctor's sticky fingers.

    I would have owned this,
    I should have held on,
    But it slipped silently through.
     
  6. Raven

    Raven Banned

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    6/10

    The telephone begins to ring,
    The toaster has another fling,
    The ants are back, I'll never eat,
    I might as well go back and sleep.

    I'll close my eyes in sleep and sorrow,
    And maybe write some verse tomorrow.
     
  7. death

    death New Member

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    umm im not good either but ill try:



    friends may abandon you
    but you have best friends too
    People who help you when your lonely or desperate
    Sometimes we may not give each other credit
    But they are there when your feeling blue
     
  8. Nonnie

    Nonnie New Member

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    Location:
    Farmville, VA. Yep, it's not just your least favor
    5/10 I suppose.

    Wishy-washy
    Squishy-squashy
    Bloopidy-bloop the jelly fish goes

    In and out
    Up then down
    Jellys highs and lows

    Sting then burn
    Live and learn
    What jellyfish are good for nobody knows!
     
  9. Joseph McCraw

    Joseph McCraw New Member

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    When I arise in the morning tis not the sun that awakens me, yet the liveliness and beauty of she. More majestic than words can compare, To compare her to the heaven's would put the stars to shame, Beauty that even the Angel's weep in spite, she is the love of my life. If only our lives together were in sight...
     
  10. NoItsBecky

    NoItsBecky Active Member

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    Eight years. That's how long this thread was ignored. Why did you even go that far back?
     
  11. big soft moose

    big soft moose The Moderating Moose Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    Nothing wrong with waking up an old thread if its a good one

    On your poem 6/10 ... 'angels weep' is a cliche and the 'beauty of she' is an awkward construct.

    A future is stolen
    opportunity laid bare
    bread is denied
    only contempt
    offered to empty hands
     
  12. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    Went that far back and then didn't even do it right - where's the rating?
     
  13. minstrel

    minstrel Leader of the Insquirrelgency Staff Supporter Contributor

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    Come on, people. No need to greet a brand-new member with that kind of tone. Let's try to be more welcoming, okay? :)
     
    Cave Troll likes this.
  14. Medeka

    Medeka New Member

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    7/10 love the simple way it highlights poverty!

    I’m staring at the sky on New Year’s Eve.
    My drink is untouched, it’s too bitter.
    My legs are cold from the pool water.
    Mascara I spent hours making pretty,
    Now ugly.
    It streaks down my face like claw marks.
    I force myself to
    look at how beautiful the moon is tonight.

    (Don’t know if it’s too long or if it’s even poetry, sorry)
     
    PoemNerd212 and katina like this.
  15. katina

    katina Contributor Contributor

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    8/10 really cool piece and very well written :)

    it is not common for
    love to summon
    happily
    but
    when it does it is
    effortless
    it does not play
    but it is endless
    and
    it wonders
    how long
    till you come to find
    it a home?
    a residence is what it wants
    readily
     
  16. Stefpri

    Stefpri New Member

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    6/10 not bad Fran creative of endless battle of finding love and staying in

    I stare in to the dark night
    wishing for death
    death extends his hand toward me
    I reach out to grab a hold and fall asleep into the blissful darkness
    then I remember nothing
    but I wake up day after day
    to this awful world
    why can't I just let go
    be accepted by death to never return
    am I over overzealous to accept the inevitable?
    am I to prepared ?
    have I not suffered enough?
    oh how I long for the day to be part of
    a thoughtless empty void of nothing.
    reality is creaul to me
    stripping me off everything and denying me of anything I strive for.
    I plan my death than
    my plans fall short because this world won't accept my plans
    if I die that way.
    I try to develop the body givin to me
    than get that goal striped away
    by disease
    rampaging my body
    people think highly of me
    but I'm, in reality nothing.
    but a rotting pile of hopes and dreams that Will never but fulfilled
    until death the only goal that will
    be accomplished.
     
  17. MaddyMadisen

    MaddyMadisen New Member

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    6/10 very nice just try a rhyming or rhythmic pattern to make it more poetic wonderful concept though


    The Light In The Dark

    Black is the darkness that destroys all that is good and gleams.
    Black is the stormy night sky drowning out any hope for light .
    Black is the sound of horrified screams echoing in my mind and dreams.
    Black is the color of blood oozing from it's broken source on that godforsaken night.
    On a slightly more positive note,
    Black is Death's swift gentle hand as she closed her eyes and took her last peaceful breaths to sleep.
    For her this poem I wrote.
    And for her I still weep
    So now even if black represents that awful night,
    Our sweet little River with her ebony fur,
    Has shown us too many times that with love anything can be alright.
    And when life is going by in a blur,
    To never forget to show a little kindness.
    You'll never know whose life you might touch.
    If your ever lost and can't find happiness,
    This advice may not appeal to you and such,
    But look into our world of darkness,
    And find just one little light to follow.
    Even if it seems hopeless,
    I can promise that you'll never feel quite so hollow.
     
    Last edited: Sep 15, 2018
  18. RodeoGrievous

    RodeoGrievous New Member

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    9/10


    For now i speak
    For me and i
    A cleansing fire
    To naked eye


    For life leave remnant
    For all around
    uncertain and unwilling
    destruction unbound


    I speak of thee
    We are all of part
    Different soul
    But the same heart


    Of which we control
    And wish we not
    Of life we progress
    And time we trot


    If we do not stop
    This sacred trend
    As our own selves
    Will reach the end
     
  19. J.p. Jake paul

    J.p. Jake paul New Member

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    9/10

    4 remembrance day
    Poppies are red
    blood is too
    it's time to thank
    the solders whom
    died 4 u
     
  20. PoemNerd212

    PoemNerd212 Contributor Contributor

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    7/10.

    Through thick mud and rain,
    they gallop across green hills...
    The voice of thunder.
     
  21. Wreybies

    Wreybies Arroz Con Admin Supporter Contributor

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    9/10 Excellent form and imagery.

    It Comes

    Afoot, this beast of foul intent.
    Worm-riddled, crooked, bent.
    Toxic as the vilest smoke.
    All logic it does revoke.

    Black is white, and widdershins.
    The beast sells lies as holy sins.
    Memory, it does demand.
    Washed away; just so much sand.

    It came once upon a duke’s demise,
    Then twice, and how the hands did rise.
    It came when you called then drove it away.
    It lives to confuse, thus blinding its prey.

    It has two heads, but you’ll only see one.
    To see both is thought and opinion undone.
    Those are the lungs and the heart of this beast.
    It lays waste to all, from the great to the least.
     
    Dennis Gerald Ph and PoemNerd212 like this.
  22. Dennis Gerald Ph

    Dennis Gerald Ph New Member

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    Year end emotions

    As the year ends,
    bitterness and memories of sorrow rages,
    life undefined in stages,
    whose fate lies on a pillar of uncertainty, 2018.

    To see the life ,we meant to be living.
    To believe the skies, when the stars ain't beaming.
    Bitterness as our hearts grow cold ,
    Maturity defined, with the one's who let go.

    I long to never see,
    The horror life has , waiting for me
    The clock ticks, the birds whistle,
    Also somewhere in the same world,
    A vicious snake peels it's skin.

    Cries of new-born baby pierce,
    The silence in the unsuspecting atmosphere,
    Whilst at a different location,
    A 12 year old breathes her last.

    But to think that's its the same world,
    The same life , the same exposure ,
    Live life
    To live again,
    Though destiny flows
    Where there's a definite end.
     
  23. Insomniac177

    Insomniac177 New Member

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    8/10 It flows well and has a deep meaning behind it. The ending has an impeccable impact.

    A girl alone walked into the streets

    The lights were dim and no soul in reach

    Whispers echoed down the road, inaudible to her ears

    She closed her eyes, trying to make herself disappear

    There was no hope, no choice, but to continue,

    Because as much as she tried to leave, a rope hauled her on

    But soon, her eyes grew dim like the many lights,

    Her body so numb that she felt no fright

    She knew that the bulbs would soon blow out,

    And her eyes would be drained of tears

    Like a complete and absolute drought.
     
  24. 31152104

    31152104 Member

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    6/10 I liked it.

    Walked through the streets... wandered the streets... lines 4, 5, 6 broke an excellent tempo for me... took away most of the fear that your poem instilled so well in 1, 2, 3. Maybe delete 4,5,6 and make 2:


    Whispers echoed down the road, which no ear did reach.

    Line 3:No lights were bright, no soul in reach.





    Line 4: Pure compulsion forced her flight
    Line 5: Soon her eyes grew as dim as the lonely lights

    Final line:
    For in her soul was only Drought.

    Sir Ulrog

    Ulrog the Beast
    (Title sir he did prefer)
    was an uncouth man
    of very high distinction

    And if meeting him in the street
    Or in a public can
    Oh! Never do mention his tremendous pension!

    Hero of war and corporate whore
    Stocks in blubber in Tatanooga
    Cellphone companies across Mongolia.
    A chess team in Turunga.

    Old codger Ulrog was a right rich bastard
    Yet if ever he came to visit, behold yer soul!
    "Oh Mom, do pass me another flagon of custard."
    No fridge his ravages could sustain!

    Another topic
    As topics go
    Is Ralfie
    He talks.
    He walks.

    Ralfie (Honey Badger) was Ulrog's
    He spoke rather nifty as I recall.
    Yes... met him at that ball.
    Charming rascally old dog.
     
    Last edited: Apr 16, 2019
  25. neeed

    neeed New Member

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    8/10 very nice I like the use of punctuation

    Greed makes you want to steal it just seems so unreal

    Some people will bully just to get other peoples money

    There something doctors cannot cure it is greed

    To cure greed u need weed

    Smoke em daily for the baily.

    Marowanna is tasty kind of like a pastry

    No feces

    Only pastries

    Marowannna, weeeed

    We wanna

    Peeeeeee

    Booom boom shika

    Boombooshika

    U know what

    I need a lighter

    From a firefighta

    Eating all the tree

    S

    No big neeed

    S

    Hey boiiiiiiiiiiiiii

    Marowanna tasty

    No pastry

    Only a bit hasty

    heyyyyyyyy.
     

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