Honestly I'm not sure if this forum is the correct place for this question, because I don't know if this is a question for writers or a question for transgender people. Maybe it's a question for a transgender writer. If I were to write a memoir (which I am considering, because I had a weird childhood), I absolutely could not write it without including transgender people/characters (which is the correct term for a memoir?). However, I am unsure of which pronouns to use for transgender individuals if I am recounting a story from a period before either I or they knew they were trans. I know it is considered correct to always refer to a person by their preferred pronouns, but I am concerned that readers might misinterpret the messages of certain stories if I always adhered to a person's preferred pronouns. My biggest issue comes from this: One of my best friends was once my greatest arch-rival. We were well-matched in academic contests, each of us being the only one who had a chance at besting the other. We respected each other and during specific events (that would be told in the memoir), looked to each other for guidance and support. I think we have always had a fascinating dynamic, but audiences tend to interpret the dynamic between two female (or female-presenting) individuals very differently than the dynamic between a female and a male individual, especially when the two are in competition, so -- in this case -- I believe gender is actually important. Do you think pronouns matter? Any advice on how to approach this problem?