I like all of the Great Lakes, but only two are my favourite. I'm not going to say which, but it's eerie how superior they are.
Carpentry is the one job where if you really want to nail it, you have to remember to screw everything up.
A woman is at her husband's funeral and a man leans over asking if he could say a word. She agrees, so he stands, clears his throat, and says, "Plethora." "Thank you," she says as he returns to his seat, "that means a lot."
Miranda would like to try out for the woman’s football team but she hasn’t got the balls to do it - Ba-bam-chi.
Yesterday I saw and ad in the paper that said, " Radio--$1. Volume stuck on full." I said to myself, "Wow........I can't turn that down.
The pun is the #1 form of humor? Why? Because it's the lowest form of humor, and there's no number lower than #1.