putting real friends in your fiction

I'm sure we've all based (at least loosely) characters on real people we know. I believe it's a fairly common way to start building a character, but as you write on the character becomes less like the person you know and more of its own. I have a friend who wants me to write her into my novel. She gave me the name she wants, and seemed really excited that I could do this. The thing is, I just introduced a new character in my novel, that I could base on my friend. Should I do it? My friend knows what my novel is about and lives nothing like my characters do. But this is a good friend who has supported me and my writing in many ways over the years. She has read a few of my short stories and she always wants to know which character is her. When I say none of them, she looks a little sad. So, I guess including my friend somewhat in the cast of characters couldn't hurt anything. It actually could make things better since I was going in a completely different direction with this character. However, I think it's better for the story to let my friend take this role. Have you ever written a character based on a friend? Did it work?

 

I think implementing a character that is based on someone you know isn't a bad idea. But as you probably know, every character must have a negative characteristic. Try not to base that characteristic on their real life negative side. But rather ask them the question of what they want it to be. If rather not, then choose arrogance since that is something almost everyone has

 

I can understand basing characters off of friends (I'm totally guilty) but the fact that she's being rather insistant could hurt your writing flow. If you write a character she doesn't like and then have to change it, you're trying to shoehorn in a character that doesn't fit the flow of the story.

I'd pick one or two personality traits (is she ultra-determined or the embodiment of grace and refinement) and weave those into the character if you can. That way, you can say that her sense of loyalty or her drive inspired the character. Hopefully that would placate your friend.

Good luck!

 

I just wanted to add that I'm not planning on letting my friend read this before/unless it is published. She has no intention of dictating the story or the character. And it's not really going to be her as much as she thinks it's her if she ever reads it. She knows I write fiction. She knows it's not really her. I think it's more for fun than anything else. I've just never had anyone ask me this before.

 

I wouldn't do it. To me it seems like you're putting your friendship into danger if your writing don't come across as you planned, and given how different readers can understand what we write from ourselves, I think its an unnecessary risk.

 

I did that once. When I was 14.

No, I would not put friends in my writing, especially not if they were asking for it! Something loosely based? Maybe. But not like that.

 

I'm kind of surprised to see so many of you against this. I'm not writing about my friend or her life. It's just kind of the what-if scenario. I'm just kind of thinking, okay if my friend is in this situation how would she likely handle it. And maybe stealing a few traits here and there. But I can't understand anyone getting upset over this. It's fiction. I'm not releasing secrets. I'm also not trying to please her. But I write versions of real people into my fiction all the time. I don't see what the big deal is or could be. I've also published personal essays where I used real first names and situations and never had a problem. I kind of think anything in y life or that I know of is fair game to write about. I'm not looking to piss anyone off. Just having a little fun with things.

 

I wouldn't do it either.

And I don't really understand how you'd "put her in" anyway. I mean, if she's asking you which characters are "her", then she doesn't seem to have any characteristics that are distinctive enough to make her easily recognizable. And you'd be changing her name, apparently. So... how would the character "be her"?

Really, though, you say you think of yourself as an artist. How does modelling a character after a friend, just because the friend asks you to, fit in with your vision of yourself as an artist?

 

If it's not big deal to you - why did you feel the need to ask other people?

If it's just for fun - go for it!
If it's serious - well, go for it anyway! You've seem to have made your mind up and it doesn't really matter to anyone except you and your friend.

 

Ah, but doesn't art imitate life? I don't pull things out of thin air and call them art. I write truths in artistic ways. Maybe you didn't see my other post, but the way I'm putting her in is just to think of her and how she would act if she was this character in this situation. In the past when she has asked if a character is her, I guess I could see a little of her in one character in particular. That character was not at all painted in a flattering light, yet she was a pit disappointed not to be included in some way. So, she wants to be in my novel and feel a part of it. I think it makes it a little more fun. I have based characters off of real people plenty of times and they never knew about it. I think many writers do this. I mean don't we have to base our characters off something/someone? I'm not saying write someone to the T. But I'm not going to reinvent the wheel. Plus, now that I think of my friend when I think of this character things have gotten a little more interesting in my novel. Not exactly what I was thinking, but I like where this is going.

 

I posted this for discussion and to see what other people thought of this. Isn't it interesting to see how other writers work and handle things? And I wasn't exactly sure what I think of this. I'm still not. I've never had someone ask to be written into my work. Usually, if there is any request, it would be the opposite. No need to bash me for wondering what other people think. I really don't like it when people basically imply that the OP should have never asked the question or posted the topic to begin with. I don't like it when It's done to me or when I see it done to other people.

 

I don't see a problem with it. As others have said, if she doesn't like how you put her in it, she may get mad. But if you think you can fit her into the story without messing up what the story is actually about, I think you should go for it.

 

I have some pretty strong personal boundaries around my writing, so this would come off as a very weird and intrusive request to me. Thoughtfully considering unsolicited suggestions and advice from others is not at all part of my writing process. It sounds like you might have a a different temperament so it doesn't bother you, but I would be side-eyeing any friend of mine who made that request, especially if they were sad that I didn't follow their suggestion.

It's not the notion of putting a friend in a story that would irritate me, it would be what I would see as someone inserting themselves into my writing process uninvited. Again, it's totally cool if you don't feel that way, but hopefully this will give you some insight into why at least one other writer would find it off-putting. A few times I've had friends say "You should write a story about [insert random subject]!", and I just tell them "Thanks, but I have more ideas than I could ever possibly write as it is!" or "That's a great idea, but my plate is already full of my own ideas. Maybe you should take a stab at it yourself." In other words, I politely shut it down and rarely (okay, never) get repeat suggestions from the same people.

 

This, this, this, this, and this!!!

Just...no.

I write a lot of non-fiction, which sometimes involves interviewing people, so I get this a lot.

The response @Laurin Kelly gives is what I typically use, too. But when someone is particularly obnoxious about it, I say, half-jokingly, "Only if you're paying me to write your memoir. And I charge a lot!"

ETA: You know...my ex was a songwriter, and I've dated a couple of other musicians. And I cannot for the life of me imagine having the balls it would take to go up to one of them and say, "You should write a song about me!!!" It's just so...rude, it makes my skin crawl.

 

Not to rag on your friend, but I think the reason you've never been asked before is because most people realize that it could potentially be construed as a major overstep.

 

Nobody I know in real life, and I don't have any friends soo...

But if you want to wind up in one of my insane word cocktails,
then you know where to reach me. (Wouldn't want to get the
details wrong, cause that would just make for a bad portrayal.)

Though I would have to agree with the others on the better make
sure they are cool with you writing them into your story. Better to
get permission, than wind up in court with a deformation case slapped
on your ass.

 

My husband wrote a song about me once. It was titled "My Baby Needs a New Wine Rack."

 

Did she know? Or were you venting?

Yeah, being with a songwriter, that's kinda how it goes sometimes...I've had nice ones written about me, and some really not flattering ones too. But I would never try to edit or influence what the Ex was writing, because I'd be pissed off if he tried that with me. (I wrote about him, too, and we were songwriting partners. We had a rule never to ask each other who our lyrics were about.)

 

I know it's maybe not the same, but you have lots of friends here, @Cave Troll . Anyone would be privileged to be your friend.

And you're so right about getting permission before writing someone in!

 

Thanks.

 

But seriously, basing character traits off a friend? Sure. Using a friend's experiences for one of your characters? No problem. Using a friend's name (with permission, of course)? Yup, and there have even been charity auctions where people have bid to have their names appear in famous authors' works.

But putting your friend lock, stock, and barrel into a story sounds dangerous. What if you don't know them as well as you think, and the character, named and all, does something that your friend would consider morally wrong? Or something that (s)he does now, but later has a change of heart on? To quote a friend of mine, referring to a now-middle-aged woman who has become quite serious about not only her religion, but imposing it on others, "Oh bullshit, I used to see you with your tits out in the bar every Friday." I'd say it's a bad idea.

 

Someone once asked me to include his name into my WIP - so not to write about him, but just include the name. I tried, but because I only ever did this with cameo characters, they inevitably got cut when time came to edit lol.

I think if it's just a name for a cameo, it's ok. I'm not sure about writing a real friend into a key character though - it'd be too restrictive. I guess what you're really saying is that your friend wants a character to be inspired by her, as opposed to write about her. "Inspired by" I can manage, but "write about"? As I said, too restrictive.

I can understand why you wanna please your friend - it seems like such a small thing to ask. Another way of going about it might be simply write a short story, or a little thing that you're not really intending on publishing or making it serious, and design a story around your friend. Just as a fun project, not as a piece of work you hope to publish. Like that, I'd do it because why not? But I wouldn't do it for an entire novel that I hope to publish - too much investment in terms of time, labour, love. A story though doesn't always have to be in book form and can be as short as 1000 words It would be a sweet gift, a little short story, put a nice cover on it and bind it somewhere and give it to your friend for her birthday or something.

I feel all the responses you've got so far on this thread have come from a very personal place, because our art is very personal to us. But I also think sometimes we can take our art a little too seriously. It's ok to do a friend a favour with a gift that we have. If you treat it as something that's really "just for fun" or "something nice for a friend", I see no harm in it at all.

But yes I'd be cautious about an entire novel that's actually based around your friend, and I'd keep in mind what someone else before me said about negative traits - don't base those on your friend or it could get you in trouble.

 

Damn straight I take it seriously. Some of us don't write "just for fun." For some, it's their livelihood, or, they're squeezing writing time in wherever they can between working another full-time gig, family commitments, and life. That person's ask is taking time away from that and is not a small thing to ask.