I'm curious about the proper way to refer to a Lord and Lady. They are equivalent titles aside from gender, so I was wondering if it was inappropriate to refer to them collectively as Lords to keep things shorter. I don't want to write Lord Grandis and Lady Escalor when I could just write Lords Grandis and Escalor, unless that seems disrespectful. They are not a couple, but have their rank independently of one another, if that makes any difference. Perhaps an even better question would be: does Lady have less connotative importance than Lord, and if so, should I just refer to the Lady as Lord instead?
Are you writing a fantasy, or is this the real world? In the real world, it's complicated. Here's a start: https://www.telegraph.co.uk/topics/about-us/style-book/5277599/Titles-and-how-to-use-them.html This is interesting, because it deals with how to write titles. In other words, there is a 'first mention' of the person, giving their whole title, then subsequently the title can be shortened if the person is mentioned again. This is probably set up for news articles, etc, but it's a good system for keeping things straight, without having to spit out long titles every time.
I would argue, without reading Jannert's resource (which I will totally come back to, it looks really handy), that "Lord and Lady" is better, just for simplicity. "Lord Grandis and Lady Escalor" immediately communicates that this is a man and a woman we're talking about, but "Lords Grandis and Escalor" to me brought up the image of two men, so this may confuse readers when they find out that Lord Escalor is a woman. Although I would argue that in the real world, especially in historical fiction, "Lord" is more important than "Lady", simply because men were more important than women, and could do more, so it was implied that not only was he the one in charge in the marriage, but that he was the one who would have inherited/been given the title, with his wife getting to call herself "Lady" as a side benefit. In fantasy, of course, you make the rules.
Just to add, even in a fantasy I wouldn't call Lords and Ladies both 'Lords.' I think that might be incredibly confusing. In the British system, gender (M/F) is always obvious from the title. https://www.parliament.uk/business/lords/whos-in-the-house-of-lords/how-to-address-a-lord/
'Lord' is male. 'Lady' is not directly equivalent, as the wife of a knight is also a Lady but nowhere close to a Lord in rank.
To respond to Jannert, yes this is fantasy, and the title system was originally following Fire Emblem logic, in that male or female you were a Lord. I started doubting that, thinking I should put in Lady for females, and wanted to get a consensus on that, and it seems that Lord and Lady is the preferred approach. That's a handy resource for referring to nobility that might be useful later on, though, if I go for more real-world titles in the future, so thanks for that!
The following are questions posed out of pure curiosity: If there are no set peerages (duke, earl, marquis, etc.) do these nobles acknowledge a hierarchy? Are there certain nobles that outrank other nobles, and if so, how is that determined without a more basic peerage structure? My question comes from having toyed with the idea of a "lord" and "lady" in my story, but while the Lady is the matriarch of the power-family in the small town, there's no actual royalty or monarchy or any other system where such titles would typically take root. So, just curious as to how you're thinking about the topic.
The Lords have a semi-hierarchy based on the the rest of the title. The lowest rank is simply "Lord", followed by High Lord, Esteemed Lord, Exalted Lord, and finally Supreme Lord. They refer to a specific type of divine being who has proven themselves through increasingly different trials. I say semi-hierarchy because these beings each rule over their own region, and their rules do not overlap unless an alliance is formed, in which case the higher ranks possess greater authority. I also edited my last post to give more detail, but perhaps I shouldn't have done that and should have made a new post instead. It's a bad habit of mine.
