1. Want2Write

    Want2Write Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    United Kingdom

    How else to say 'Tired'/ 'Exhausted'/'Sleepy'

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Want2Write, Jun 2, 2014.

    Please help. MC is tired mainly because of the lack of sleep - for the whole book. Emphasizing that he is sleepy is very important to justify some of the mistakes he makes, which is the main twist that moves the story forward. Right from the first page, till the end of the novel he is sleepy! I have to remind the readers that he lacks sleep, over and over again. But i am stuck with only the following to show that he is tired [and not using 'sleepy'] and he needs sleep so badly:

    - He falls asleep whenever he goes into some deep thoughts,
    - He drinks strong coffee from the cafeteria, but after few minutes he finds himself asleep on the table and someone waking him up.
    - Eyelids closes involuntarily
    - His shirt collar stinks of saliva from drooling in the sleep

    What else he feels when he is that tired? Thanks in advance for all the suggestions.
     
    Last edited: Jun 2, 2014
  2. shadowwalker

    shadowwalker Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2011
    Messages:
    3,258
    Likes Received:
    847
    Well, from personal experience, someone who suffers from lack of sleep isn't going to be sleepy all the time. There's that "second wind" thing, when the adrenalin gets moving again. Judgement is still impaired, yes, but if you have the guy falling asleep all the time, it's going to get comical or boring versus "twisty". I'd use those adrenalin pushes as another way of reminding readers of the lack of sleep.

    Another caution - don't forget that readers aren't dumb - ie, don't hit them over the head with this tired bit.
     
  3. Lewdog

    Lewdog Come ova here and give me kisses! Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2012
    Messages:
    7,676
    Likes Received:
    3,056
    Location:
    Williamsburg, KY
    Tuckered out
     
  4. jim79

    jim79 Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2012
    Messages:
    33
    Likes Received:
    6
    knackered!
     
    Catrin Lewis likes this.
  5. obsidian_cicatrix

    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    1,615
    Location:
    Belfast, Northern Ireland
    running on empty?
     
  6. jannert

    jannert Retired Mod Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2013
    Messages:
    17,674
    Likes Received:
    19,889
    Location:
    Scotland
    knackered - pooped - gone the way of the buffalo
     
  7. Robert_S

    Robert_S Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2013
    Messages:
    876
    Likes Received:
    170
    I've used the word heavy because when I'm tired, because everything is heavier than usual: the arms like to lay at my side, my eye-lids feel puffy and slow to blink, my feet slap the ground a little harder, shoulders sink more, etc.
     
  8. Garball

    Garball Banned Contributor

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,827
    Likes Received:
    1,337
    Location:
    S'port, LA
    I second this. Being somebody who lives their life on their fourth or fifth wind, being physically tired and lack of sleep are something that you easily get used to. When I get that tired, my brain gets tunnel vision. I can only concentrate on one thing at time or nothing at all. It is the mental exhaustion that gets the best of you.
     
  9. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    what you've described sounds more like narcolepsy than just being 'tired'...
     
    AlannaHart likes this.
  10. obsidian_cicatrix

    obsidian_cicatrix I ink, therefore I am. Contributor

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2013
    Messages:
    1,795
    Likes Received:
    1,615
    Location:
    Belfast, Northern Ireland
    I third the above. Chronic fatigue and tiredness make up around 40% of my mental 'condition.' Although bipolar comes under the umbrella of mental health, I suffer some awful physical side effects too. Tiredness is something I know and understand. I have to constantly push myself, so I know that fifth-wind feeling well. @Garball hits the nail on the head when he mentions tunnel vision. Shit, do I know that one. I think of it as a drowning man holding on to a log. The only important thing at that moment of time is clinging to something, anything, to stop me from collapsing in a heap. Doesn't go down well with employers especially if one feels ready to drop only two hours into a shift. The one thing I can't do when knackered is multi-task.
     
  11. WeWill77

    WeWill77 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2014
    Messages:
    47
    Likes Received:
    24
    Location:
    Abu Dabi
    Fatigued.... But when I feel this way here's what I use: out of energy/in a haze/hazy/in a daze/dazed/out of it/dead-tired/drunk-tired/dead/dying/done/exhausted/fucking exhausted/so tired I can't even function/loopy/sleep-deprived (mess)/dreamy/in a dreamscape/hallucinating/seeing or hearing things

    Most of them are hyperbole. Others describe the feeling of seeing less than clearly while one is lacking that whole night's sleep. Sometimes it really does feel like I'm hallucinating a bit....
     
  12. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    18,385
    Likes Received:
    7,080
    Location:
    Ralph's side of the island.
    I'm not sure you need new ways to say he's tired. A few references to the fact he has yet to get that needed sleep and the rest is showing the results of lacking that sleep. If it is truly important to the story, then the reason (consequences, results) it is important to the story should serve to show that he's never quite rested up.
     
    WeWill77 likes this.
  13. Chaos Inc.

    Chaos Inc. Active Member

    Joined:
    May 27, 2014
    Messages:
    180
    Likes Received:
    47
    Location:
    Acolasia
    I agree with Ginger. Show us the "tired" and "sleepy" with drooping eyelids and cross eyed stares.
     
  14. mammamaia

    mammamaia nit-picker-in-chief Contributor

    Joined:
    Nov 21, 2006
    Messages:
    19,150
    Likes Received:
    1,034
    Location:
    Coquille, Oregon
    and don't keep beating the reader over the head with it... once the problem has been established, too many references to it will be more annoying, than effective...
     
    matwoolf likes this.
  15. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    Like others have suggested, try to show it. He asks people to repeat themselves, he misplaces stuff, mixes up reality and dreamworld and says odd things because of this, his eyes sting (they feel like full of sand/salt/chili), and so on.

    This is the stuff I've picked up when @T.Trian is having a no-sleep binge. It gets quite interesting after a while.
     
    Renee J, WeWill77 and GingerCoffee like this.
  16. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2013
    Messages:
    18,385
    Likes Received:
    7,080
    Location:
    Ralph's side of the island.
    A no-sleep binge? :D
     
    KaTrian likes this.
  17. KaTrian

    KaTrian A foolish little beast. Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2013
    Messages:
    6,764
    Likes Received:
    5,393
    Location:
    Funland
    I hesitated to call it insomnia 'cause it's more like a... no-sleep binge. :D
     
  18. Renee J

    Renee J Senior Member

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2013
    Messages:
    460
    Likes Received:
    220
    Location:
    Reston, VA
    I have trouble remembering common things when I get tired. I've also started dreaming while still awake.

    I agree with the others - show the effects from lack of sleep rather than just stating he's tired.
     
  19. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    I agree that you probably don't need to emphasize his tiredness as much as you might think you do.

    I would also eliminate the collar/saliva part.
     
  20. Want2Write

    Want2Write Member

    Joined:
    May 31, 2011
    Messages:
    43
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    United Kingdom
    Thank you all for the responses. Yes, I want to show the effect of lack of sleep. MC was working in a project for 3 months with very less sleep, like 3-4 hours a day. the night before the big day, his mind didnt work very well, he commits a mistake that proves fatal to the project. How he fights his tiredness and corrects the mistake that night forms the whole story. It may sound simple, but it gets complex. So as you can see its important to show his fatigue, and I dont want just to say the same thing with different vocab. But as you all advised I want to SHOW the tiredness.
     
  21. Bjørnar Munkerud

    Bjørnar Munkerud Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2012
    Messages:
    477
    Likes Received:
    275
    Location:
    Oslo, Norway
    There are loads of words for this, but most are dialectical. You could probably find a lot just by looking up synonyms in a thesaurus. Personally I use "knackered" a lot, a term I learnt from Karl Pilkington of all people.
     
  22. matwoolf

    matwoolf Banned Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2012
    Messages:
    6,631
    Likes Received:
    10,135
    Location:
    Yorkshire
    'Knackered' ...a generation past was a taboo word.

    It means exhausted after sexual intercourse. I remember the shock on my parents' faces - when as a 12 year old I skipped out of my canoe and explained to the elderly neighbours:

    'I am totally kneckered,' I said, which whilst not a slapping offence, merited a stiff word or two.

    Such a premis you have set yourself: a character always falling asleep is like anti-reading...your novel will sit at the bedside for years.

    'How's the book?'

    'Oooooaaahhh..really good...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.'

    Good luck tho :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 7, 2014
    WeWill77 likes this.
  23. T.Trian

    T.Trian Overly Pompous Bastard Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2013
    Messages:
    2,253
    Likes Received:
    1,470
    Location:
    Mushroom Land
    It's not really insomnia 'cause I do get sleepy and tired, but I don't want to go to sleep because I know that if I do, my back pain will get worse, and the next thing I know if I do fall asleep, is waking up to pains so intense, they wake me up from deep sleep, so hence: no-sleep binge. :D

    And as for the effects, I'd say after around 20-24 hours of staying up, you get the usual stuff: sandy, stinging eyes, drooping eyelids, yawning etc. Then it goes away and you feel really energized and active.

    The sleepiness/weariness comes in cycles, every cycle being worse than the one before. Usually the next cycle comes at around 40-50 hours (in my case anyway), and that usually includes all the previous effects, but add the nodding (you almost fall asleep, but when your head nods forward, you jerk out of it), and it starts to be a bit more difficult to follow complex thought patterns if you're e.g. having a discussion or watching a movie with a deeper plot, reading a scientific paper or some such.

    Then it goes away again, but even the active periods between the cycles get worse and worse: when the 40-50h sleepiness cycle passes, you're active again, but you have trouble concentrating, you make mistakes with simple things (that's why it's dangerous to drive when you haven't slept in a couple of days because you might be in such a zombie state that you simply forget to break at red lights or some equally stupid mistake you'd never normally make), people have to repeat what they say to you several times before you understand their point, you have to read paragraphs, even sentences several times to make heads or tails about it etc.

    The next cycle usually hits around the 65-75h mark, and that's when I usually start to gradually lose my ability to function, i.e. I can no longer understand writing well enough to e.g. translate texts or proof-read essays etc, I have difficulties following the plot of a movie, I sometimes say weird things (I think I say the right words, but turns out I said something that doesn't make any sense), and so on.
    At this point I often just pass out at some point (usually after staying up 70+ hours, especially if I have slept only 4-5h a night for several nights before the no-sleep binge); the body gives up, and I might fall asleep sitting up in the middle of a conversation, halfway through a meal (with food in my mouth), even while having sex (isn't that awkward? Way to boost your partner's confidence :rolleyes:).

    It's no wonder sleep deprivation is used as one of the enhanced interrogation methods, because it does get pretty hellish after a while when you'd want nothing more than to just lay down and sleep for ages, but know you can't.

    There are a few ways to fight off the "tiredness cycles," like standing up and moving about a bit, physical exercise, fresh air, conversations, sex, splashing your face/head with water, a cold shower etc. Some substances help as well. Caffeine is probably the most popular, but it doesn't work for me (I can take a dozen pills and it won't keep me awake any better; it just boosts my heart rate and makes me feel a bit restless, and if I do fall asleep, the sleep will be very shallow), another is nicotine.
    Although it works differently for everybody, quite a few people who have been prescribed the synthetic opioid, tramadol (a mid-level painkiller), get really energized and can stay up for 2-3 days with significantly less trouble than without it. When my doctor prescribed that to me, I could lay awake next to my wife, just thinking about stuff and the hours just flew by. Mind you, I was perfectly lucid or even "hyper lucid," i.e. everything was super-clear, I could think very fast, think about complex ideas more easily than usual etc. I'm sure there are other legal and illegal drugs that would help although they're probably more often stimulants and other "fast" substances than opioids since they tend to be "slow" for the most part.

    Insomnia is a little different, but since that doesn't seem to be what you're writing about, I won't go into it now.
     
    Want2Write and WeWill77 like this.
  24. mg357

    mg357 Active Member

    Joined:
    Dec 3, 2012
    Messages:
    420
    Likes Received:
    45
    Dead Tired worn out beyond dead tired.
     
  25. AlannaHart

    AlannaHart Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2014
    Messages:
    367
    Likes Received:
    203
    Location:
    Australia
    I like 'shagged' too.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice