Dialogue is my weakness. I write, but it never sounds like them. I know my characters, although I'm still at the begining, but it just sounds like, I don't know, words, not them. Does anyone have tricks or anything? I'm desperate, honestly! It's funny too, because dialogue is a thing I love about a book. I just can't seem to get it. English isn't my first language by the way.
Are you writing speech a little too correctly? Maybe you need to fragment and simplify the things they say, more like the way real people talk. Abbreviations, contractions, vagueness, etc. You also have to consider the vocabulary each character would use, and what they'd be focused on or interested in talking about in a given scene. There's an art to doing this while still communicating everything you want to, and you have to find a careful balance between conveying the feel of real speech and avoiding how dull, awkward or irrelevant real speech can be. But maybe if you show some examples of dialogue you're not happy with, we could offer specific suggestions or advice? I'd be happy to.
Alright, so I removed the text and only left out the dialogue but here it is : (This is happening after two young teenagers (12-13) got caught stealing and ran away together. One of them was doing it on purpose while the other one was trying to help the other escape.) “I think that I was trying to get caught and it all got ruined, thanks a lot, by the way.” “You’ve got to be joking! I don’t believe you.” “Shame. Well, I’d love to stay and chat but I’ve got to think of a new way to disappoint my mother. You’d think I've explored everything but honestly, you’d be surprised.” “You’re leaving?” I don't think it's monumentally terrible but I feel like it's too obvious. I'd like to shock the readers if possible, because there's supposed to be chemistry between these two characters. It's their first meeting but they're meant to become best friends. The story is about friendship (which is why I'm freaking out about the dialogue, because there's going to be a lot of it!) You know, the more I'm reviewing this, the more I think a big part of it has to do with the fact that I might not know one of the character as well as I thought I did... (I put him in bold) You don't have to help if it's too much bother by the way (or if you think I'm beyond help). I've read what you said and I'm going to try to keep it in mind when I write. Thank you!
Well, the first thing you might do is cut out some superfluous words. "I think that I was trying to get caught and it all got ruined..." "You’ve got to be You're joking! I don’t believe you." Some of it could be clearer. Would "I was trying to get caught but it all got ruined" make more sense in context? Either way, clearer punctuation would help: "...it all got ruined. Thanks a lot, by the way." The language in general could be simpler, unless these are meant to be really precocious 12-13-year-olds. Rather than "I don't believe you," they might just say "No way." Rather than "I'd love to stay and chat, but" they might say something more like "I'd love to stick around, but". Instead of "I've explored everything," maybe "come up with everything" or "done everything". They might ask "You're going?" when "leaving" is more technically correct, and the context still makes the meaning clear. It doesn't all have to be simplified, but breaking some of it down more will probably come out more believable and convey stronger character voice. Also think about more concrete, less abstract terms, since kids start out geared that way. So instead of "I've got to think of a way", maybe something like "I've got to go find a way". I don't think the word "honestly" adds enough to that sentence to really justify putting it there, but it depends on the intended voice of the character. But I think the main thing you'd want to do with these examples is simplify them. Even adults tend to speak in more simple, direct language.
Wow, thank you so much! It's my first time giving english writing a shot (I'm French) and stuff like that is exactly what I did not want to do. I've still got a long way to go haha, but thank you. I feel I'm going to get much better thanks to your help.
Honestly for being a first shot from a non-native speaker, it wasn't terrible. I've seen worse from native speakers. I've found watching YouTube videos / vines to be extremely helpful with learning how the "younger" generation is speaking. Started doing that when I realized I wasn't 18 anymore, and I couldn't understand a damn thing my nephew was saying. Not saying it will definitely help, but I hear immersion is a benefit.
Sometimes it helps to read your dialogue out loud or, better yet, have somebody else read it out loud while you listen. If your reader is pacing the text where you don't want that pacing, you know that corrections have to be made. And I agree with everything truthbeckons said. Dialogue can be the trickiest part of writing, particularly for those who aren't native speakers in the language. So don't get discouraged if you aren't getting the result you want right away.
Just listen to the way people around you speak. Try to carry a notebook and take some notes about the things you hear. Do that and it should come a little easier to you.
