1. Dreams Of Spaceships

    Dreams Of Spaceships New Member

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    Grammar Quotation marks and beats

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by Dreams Of Spaceships, Mar 24, 2021.

    I have not been able to find the answer for this online, so maybe someone here can give me insight?

    In this paragraph, Candace is teaching a boy how to defend himself, explaining as she demonstrates. Is this the correct way to write this? I know the rule is generally "new speaker, new paragraph," but what about when it's the same speaker, doing multiple things while she's speaking? Thanks so much!

    "Stop worrying about that and pay attention,” Candace barked in her training-the-new-recruits voice. “As I was saying, you step behind them like so…” Candace demonstrated with a quick step to the back and side. "And then sweep like this,” Candace said, punching the side of her foot into the crook of the teenager’s knee, “And BAM! Down they go.” Down the teenager went, face first into a pile of dust. “Then,” Candace said, “You get your ass on the bike and get out of there.
     
  2. Naomasa298

    Naomasa298 HP: 10/190 Status: Confused Contributor

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    Generally, this is fine, although there are four instances of "Candace", which are unnecessary.
     
  3. Dreams Of Spaceships

    Dreams Of Spaceships New Member

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    Thanks, I'll fix that.

    Ok, good to know.
     

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