I have a friend who is actually a well-established author and I asked her for tips regarding how to approach this. What sense of realism in today's world would you put into your fictional world? So the main character of my story is a young woman (mid-30's or so) who grew up raised as a soldier, she is an only child, and inherits a very well-established family business from her father (3 generations going or so). Now...what my author friend was telling me is that I should implement a sense of realism into my character's story. If I show a scene of her being in the military, I should show it so that as a female soldier she has to work harder to earn the respect of her male comrades; it's sad in today's real world that males and females in the military aren't treated equally...far from it. My friend was saying instead of creating a fictional world where all men and women are on an equal playing field in the military, I should make it so my female lead character has a harder time earning her status....you know maybe the men call her names and stuff....could be a great way to build her character...thick skin, tough, and all. Another thing my author friend mentioned is since it is a fairly frequent topic unfortunately in today's world, she said for my main character I should have a scene regarding the continuation of my character's family business since she's an only child and all the pressure is on her to extend the family line. The thing is my character is 100% childfree, not really a fan of children anyway, loves her busy single life as she's the head honcho of her business...my author friend says I should make a scene about that since a lot of childfree women get accused for their lifestyle choice, going as far as being 'selfish' for doing so. Like making a scene showing my character standing her ground on her lifestyle choice and that she is literally 'the last of the line' and she is somehow very proud of that. Of course, I would use this scene to build my protagonist's character--proving she is very adamant in her beliefs and lifestyle and such. I agree with my author friend in that it would build strength of character for my protagonist, I just probably don't want to make too big a scene or too big a deal about it. Since my character is not fond of kids, maybe show a short quip of her showing her dislike for them (not in a cruel way...it's just she literally has no maternal instinct in her). Her career is her life, her everything, she wouldn't give it up for the world. It's the lifestyle she embraces and she's not going to be torn away from it despite pressure from society and her family. Thoughts on this? Injecting a sense of realism from today's world into my character's world? It's unfortunate, but it's real that it seems women have to fight and work harder than men to earn their spot in some areas of life. Gradually it's getting better but we still have a long ways to go. I appreciate any thoughts, feedback or advice on this!
It depends on your story, surely. What's your story about? What are its key themes? Just because these are indeed real world problems doesn't mean you have to show every single one of them in your book - just because you can doesn't mean you should. So, if feminism problems is what you actually want to write about, and you want this to be a big part in your character's main journey, then yes, these would be good scenes to have. If, however, the story is in no way defined by her being female, or if your world is a fantasy or sci-fi one that in no way reflects our current world and its values, then no. The idea of injecting realism and talking about real world issues through your characters is a sound one. But what scenes you include should depend on what story you're trying to tell. Just because your character is female doesn't mean you gotta illustrate female problems, even though you can. Making a big deal out of the feminism aspects when it's not even part of your key plot could be more of a distraction than a positive that adds to the book.
You don't have to include any of today's problematic issues in your story. Especially if it's a fantasy world. It's invented and can be whatever you want it to be (technically, you make it whatever's convenient for the story). Even contemporary books set in today's world don't always include social issues. The DaVinci Code is a straightforward adventure where no social issues are tackled at all. But unless your world is some sort of an utopia where everything is perfect, then yes, it's good to include some sort of problems.
There's no right answer to this. It depends entirely on the author's vision of the story--what do you want for your work?
If your goal is to write realistic fiction, I think you should give a lot of weight to what's realistic. But if your goal is something else, then...
I think you should avoid being preachy about social issues, unless that is your theme and you want to deal with that in depth. Being a soldier, in a real world or a fantasy one, male or female, is not an easy task, and free and open acceptance is not a given. You have to prove that you are good enough to have someone's back in combat. And if you do earn that trust, it then becomes unconditional, the strongest bond between humans that you will find. But first it must be earned. If a few names will break your spirit, what will real bullets, fired at you by an enemy who wants to kill you, do to you? I suspect your author friend has never been in the military, certainly not in combat, nor been close to anyone who has. Talk to women who have been in the military and done well, especially those who have experienced combat, if your character has. Talk to those women who made senior NCO or chief petty officer, or Lt Col or CDR, leading both men and women. They had what it took, and can tell you a lot about what that is.
There are two questions that can help you with this: What is the overarching plot of my story? Does this point contribute to it? How much weight you should give to your friend's advice is directly relative to your answers. If you think a metaphorically explosive scene about your protagonist choosing childlessness detracts from your main plot, then go with your gut and keep it to the flippant comment. Overcoming her own gender to win the respect of her brothers-in-arms is certainly a good place for a story in its own right, but again, is that what this story is about?
Did your friend specifically tell you to make "a scene" devoted to each of these topics? Because if you do want this stuff to be in there, it seems to me that it would be woven lightly through the whole thing, instead of one "Covered that topic! Done!" scene.
It almost seems like your friend wants all the personality traits or actions of your character to link up to the reason why your character has these traits/does these things. I think it’s important to show how a character has become the way they are. Really important. But also agree with above comments that you should link up any “reasons” for character behaviour with your themes and storyline.
From the get-go, before my author friend gave her input, I was veering more towards a fantastic world where her being a female isn’t much a thing and everyone is equal. I guess a good example of that is the Attack On Titan series. Everyone in the military squad of that show...whether male or female...they’re treated identical and they dress the same way. Watching that show, you don’t truly realize a difference. They all blend in together. I don’t want my character’s journey necessarily make a big deal about her being female. Of course I could inject a real world issue into her world only if it adds to her story and/or builds her character. I have idea where one of them I discussed above would add to the key plot.
Sounds good. I guess I’ve been concerned on making my character’s story so realistic so readers can relate easier. My gut tells me to be more fantasy-like with her world, though in her world and story there is no one with superhuman or magical powers. There are a lot of problems in my characters world I can think of...especially ones not dealing with feminism...for sure I want to show how she’s made her mark in the world by tons of hard work and courage. She definitely has a lot of guts to deal with some of the problems in her world.
Yes, I want to focus more on the theme of my character’s story rather than preach about social issues in today’s world. I don’t want to make her story a whole male vs. female thing; I want them to be on a level-playing field where everyone is respected on equal terms. My author friend is well established in her genre, which is Romance. Not necesssarily my preferred genre, as I like anything that’s Fantasty or Sci-Fi. She made a lot of great points but she made this big deal about women having a harder time in the army earning status and respect as soldiers than men. She hasn’t been in the military and definitely not in combat. I am fortunate enough to have a really good female friend in the military right now and she is actually the only girl in her squad. She was joking the other day that she has become one of the guys. She’s definitely earned her status. I think maybe it’s best I’d better ask her some questions about her experience in the military. She is very physically strong, in insane shape, and can carry men over her weight. So I will need to connect with her somehow. Also, good point about contacting women who became leaders in the military that have led both men and women. Looks like I need to conduct some interviews. Thank you for you advice! That definitely helped a lot!
I'm wondering if this is one of those "when someone tells you something's wrong, they're right; when they tell you how to fix it, they're wrong". Is it possible that your character is too stainless-steel flawless and strong and free of worries and doubts and struggles? Maybe you need to add doubts and struggles, but they don't need to be those doubts and struggles.
Those are good questions to ask. I’ll just keep the childfree thing about my character to the side...just maybe mention it in a quip or a flippant comment. Nothing more than a sentence or you know. I don’t want that to make a huge deal of the story. The story is in first-person, so knowing my character, she wouldn’t think of such things anyway inside her own mind. If someone ever gave them a hard time about that, she’d brush them to the side and ignore them. Not an important part of the story. Good point about her overcoming her gender to earn the respect from her brothers in the army. I will have to think about that some. Thank you for your input!
Now that you mention that way, quite possibly. As for my character, yeah...she is a fighter but not without her flaws. She has emotions, she will doubt herself at times, and she will struggle with others and even who she is at one point I think. Since I’m telling this story from her perspective in First-Person, she will become nervous and frightened at her things or events in her life. She may show a tough exterior but inside sometimes it’s hard for her to hold herself together and be confident.
Definitely! I hear you on showing how a character can become the way they are. Ideally, the vision I have of my character inside my head is she’s around 35 or so. I don’t want it to distract from the theme and storyline at all, but maybe if I could find a way...like her reasoning for it...make her childfree stance part of her behavior...as part as to she became later in the story. And if her world is one where since she’s a female she has to work harder to earn respect from her male comrades, I should present that in a way showcasing her mental toughness and such. Kinda explains how she develops a tough exterior.
I can definitely tell you that as an IRL only child, I feel I have certain traits or do certain things because I’m an only child. Growing up with siblings or without siblings is two very different upbringings. Although the differences might be slight, and there are many other influences, I do believe the only child element of your character would need to affect the character profile in some way. I think the female element of the story is a good one too, because it is the real truth.
If being child-free isn't important at all, why mention it at all? Being a woman who doesn't want children is still a huge social stigma in today's world, so depending on how you do it, readers may question why you're mentioning it and may expect you to deal with the issue in more depth.
While is good to put some realism on your story, I will say not necessary. The most important aspect of realism should be on the characters, and here I am talking about their behavior. For example, if your character is a spoiled child, you can't simply write she will obey her parents. Also, make your character having flows that will make her grow, keep in mind that your character at the end doesn't have to become necessary good in order to have grown. Write struggles and obstacles in her story that are connected with her backstory.
I am actually an only child as well so that's why I would like my character to be an only child. From a real life experience, that is what I can relate to. I can only imagine what having siblings would be like...all the competition and all that. Only childs aren't very common among families these days. I am happy and thankful that my parents only chose to have me. Most of the characters I have...at least my protagonists anyway...are only children. I agree with you in that I have also developed certain trains or do certain things because I grew up by myself with no siblings. The upbringings are definitely a lot different how I view it. Since my protagonist's parents chose to have only her, she received a lot more attention; she sides with her father more on stuff since she and him have more of a connection. So yes, I'll be sure to make the only child element a part of who my character is. And one thing, sometimes only children face pressure to continue the family line. I myself have zero interest in having children, they aren't my thing. And I'm okay without marrying either. I have to admit there are pieces of myself rooted into my protagonist for this story I'm writing. She loves the idea of being "the last of her family line" if you know what I mean. I don't know about you but for me growing up as an only child, I have always been sort of an introvert. I was very shy in middle school and high school. I've come out of my shell quite a bit in college and now having my current career. But at the end of the day, I love that alone time piece, peace and quiet. Since I can relate to that as an only child and my character is an only child, I think that should be a part of her daily life or her way to relax.
Thank you for your input. I would say my character is somewhat spoiled since she's her parent's only one. Growing up, she will have faced multiple obstacles, hurdles, struggles, etc., to become the person who she is. Even though she may be somewhat spoiled as a kid, her childhood or upbringing wasn't necessarily easy. As an example, she was never really attached to her mother and always seemed to side with her father more and that's how she was shaped to become the woman she is in the story. She works very hard like her father did to accomplish great things in her life. I would say her upbringing might be a little bit sad regarding her relationship with her mother and that will obviously effect who she becomes by the end of the story.
Correct. It was just a thing that came up while I was talking about this to my author friend. She said since it's a big social issue today (unfortunately), I should bring it up briefly in the story since it injects a bit of realism into the story; she said my readers would connect more. I know my author friend writes romance novels only, but with this being fantasy I should have more flexibility. I think it would be interesting to deal with my character's whole childfree mentality...since she's an only child and inherits her father's business, I think I should mention it somehow someway...maybe I could do it in a subtle way. I could picture a scene of her being stuck with a young kid of another friend (against her will) in a life-or-death situation; this kid is the only person she can work with in this situation to get out of it. Obviously, not easy for her and not her cup of tea but she deals with it. I'm not saying she will be a total bitch about it or make a big deal about it, just not her preference and I think readers will get the sense of her perspective on that through her behavior, speech, actions, etc., in this potential scene. Actually picturing it right now, I think it would be a great scene for her story and will help build her character.
@Marthix2016: I think what you are looking for is some inner struggle for your women, which is important to developing her character arc, and childbearing could be one of those inner conflicts. In my book, I had a Roman soldier who would today be about the equivalent of a major or lt col, a tribune leading the first cohort (battalion) of about a 1000 men, hoping for command. Without realizing it, I modeled him very much on myself, and as a result he exited the first draft as he entered, no inner flaws, no conflicts, and no developments: an interesting but totally flat character. In the later revisions, I gave him a conflict over his family: stationed on the Syrian border, his wife and children in Naples, he managed to get back in the past ten years only a few times to get Camilla pregnant, but not to be there for the birth. He was planning on attending a gathering of the eastern legions' leadership in Byzantium, hoping to carve out another two months to visit her, when he is given an offer he can't refuse, imperial orders to accompany his cousin the Senator on a trip to China that will probably take two or three years. He spends a lot of time looking at this little painted locket he has of Camilla, wondering why any woman in her right mind would play Penelope to his Odysseus, what will he find when he gets back, if he gets back, who will be there for his son's manhood ceremony when he turns 14. So look for inner conflict. BTW, I too am an only child.
Just because something is a big social issue today doesn't mean you need to raise it in order for readers to connect. Honestly, your author friend sounds like she's giving pretty bad advice. However, it also sounds like you would be interested in giving this issue more "screen time", so that's fair enough - your life or death work with a kid scenario would be difficult to do though, in my opinion. If you're trying to shine a spotlight on her lack of desire for children, you have to be careful not to end up making her come off as a bitch towards kids. Even though in real life there're plenty of people (myself included) who don't like small children (though I have one lol), written in fiction form it might come off differently. Also, what would be the point of such a scene - and it doesn't sound like just one scene but rather more a significant part of the plot? - if your main character doesn't develop through it? What would be her character development through this? Are you wanting her to find the resourcefulness in children? Realise they're not all brats? Come to like them more? Become more maternal than before? What's the goal apart from "mentioning that she doesn't want kids"? Also, of course, just because you don't want your own children doesn't mean you don't like children. I work at a primary school and one excellent (female) teaching assistant has already said she's in no hurry to have kids and if she had any, she'd adopt, because the idea of being pregnant is horrifying for her. Another teacher in year 5 (also female) who has over 20 years experience has said in no uncertain terms she never wants to have her own children. Dealing with them in school is enough. I've also read various articles in the past of women who don't want kids saying basically the same thing - they enjoy seeing kids around and are even good at playing with them, but would never want them. One of the mods on here said the same thing. These people all love children, but they don't want their own. Because it is a big social issue, if you do deal with it, I'd say it's important to really talk to women who don't want kids and get their perspective on things. Whatever you do with it, however you portray it, it will create a big reaction in your readers I think as it's pretty sensitive, so I think not making assumptions would be important.
I agree with others that being childfree doesn't have to mean that she doesn't like kids. And that you don't need some big reason for her to not have kids. Having kids is a huge financial and, perhaps more important in this case, time responsibility. Pregnancy and birth can trash your health. My view is that of course this woman isn't going to have kids; why on earth would she?
