1. StoryForest

    StoryForest Banned

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    Repeating "hands".

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by StoryForest, Aug 22, 2019.

    I need some advice. Does repeating "hands" here sound weird?

    "So, what you’re saying is, even if I convinced Ms. Jones to submit the paperwork...."
    "Your parents would not approve of the transfer."
    Steven dropped his head to his hands.
    "Come on now," Mr. Smith placed a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Look at the bright side."


    I tried changing it to:
    Steven dropped his head to his palms.
    Steven dropped his head to his chest.
    Steven's head dropped to his chest.
    Steven dropped his head and slouched.

    But I don't really like these alternatives. Does anybody have any other suggestions? I'm just trying to show a quick gesture of disappointment and don't need to elaborate on it too much.
     
  2. Mish

    Mish Senior Member

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    Does Steven have to drop his head to his hands in this situation?

    Maybe

    "Steven lowered his head in disappointment"?
     
  3. Saphry

    Saphry Member

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    Hm what about...

    Steven hung his head.
    Steven palmed his face, dejected.
    Steven buried his face within his palms.
     
    StoryForest, RobinLC and Mish like this.
  4. StoryForest

    StoryForest Banned

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    Thanks, Everyone! I'll try a few of these and rework the passage.
     

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