Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Jack Vlahovic, May 8, 2013.
Delete this please, posted in wrong place
This isn't in the right place for us to review writing - and you're not eligible to post work for review yet either. Take a quick look here for a guide on how this forum works.
However, from a quick glance at your first piece I would advise that you study up on basic punctuation (capital letters and apostrophes especially) and common spelling errors (e.g. there/their/they're).
Welcome to the forums!
Separate names with a comma.