Saddest Two-Sentence Story?

Discussion in 'Writing Prompts' started by NoItsBecky, Oct 14, 2017.

  1. G. Anderson

    G. Anderson Active Member

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    Two pairs of eyes locked, knowing it'd be the last time they'd look at each other. They must not close their eyes, they each thought, but they could not keep them open.
     
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  2. O.M. Hillside

    O.M. Hillside Active Member

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    When we were 22 and partying our insecurities to the back of our minds, I remember her laughing hysterically one time as everyone started dancing in the middle of the room with great fervor and sexuality. Later that year, I saw her on my way to Cameron's party; she was smoking a cigarette in a wheelchair in front of Planned Parenthood.
     
  3. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    I'd spent my childhood dreaming of what I'd become. Age turned my sleeping fantasy into a nightmare.
     
  4. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Let me chew on your criticism a bit.

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    Those are the most packed sentences I have ever seen. I don't know if I would get drawn in or turned off. Personally, I'd suggest major paring down, but then I'm a minimalist.
     
  5. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Member

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    (The first and last sentences of a 100-word story I wrote):

    The river is cold and clear today, just like it was that other day. The day I watched you slip into the silence underneath.
     
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  6. TheRealStegblob

    TheRealStegblob Kill All Mages Contributor

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    I booted up the video game. It was World of Warcraft.
     
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  7. Cave Troll

    Cave Troll Who says evil ain't sexy. :P Contributor

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    He came into the world excited and hopeful. He left it bitter and forlorn.
     
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  8. Mckk

    Mckk Moderator Staff Supporter Contributor

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    I really like this. You can see the beautiful view, you can feel the cold, you can almost hear the little slosh of water as "you" went under. And all the while maintaining this serene tone like a landscape photo of water, but with a hidden story only the narrator knows. Lovely.
     
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  9. Thunderhead

    Thunderhead Member

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    Thank you so much for your kind words! I’m so glad you liked it :)
     
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  10. Fickleflame

    Fickleflame Member

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    After one a final embrace, they drifted away. When morning came, winter had buried his body under the miles she had covered.
     
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  11. Simpson17866

    Simpson17866 Contributor Contributor

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    I can finish my second sentence before the cancer wins, right?
     
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  12. O.M. Hillside

    O.M. Hillside Active Member

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    The lines in his face were deep and weary, his fists tensed up then relaxed and he fell asleep in the chair. The kid tried but failed to wake him up on the morning of their trip.
     
  13. Dreamsage

    Dreamsage Member

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    I like this. There is a second sentence here, but it is entirely silent.


    She would always stay at home, frantically drawing day and night, dreaming of making wonders to impress the world, paintings and poems and stories that would finally help her connect and be accepted. She would always stay at home - so everyone she knew, she drove them away instead.
    Story of my life (a bit exaggerated) And another, unrelated:

    A rose bloomed through her head and the world was painted red.
    Red her hair were flowing wild, and red she saw her peeking child.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2018
  14. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Let me chew on your criticism a bit.

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    Upon further review, I would write it, "I thought they said the red wire. Next time I'd listen better."
     
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  15. Kristen the Free Spirit

    Kristen the Free Spirit Member

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    She loved, but no matter how deeply, they never loved her back. One sided love had become the story of her life.
     
  16. Thaddaeus English

    Thaddaeus English Member

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    She grabbed my finger so tightly, making me feel happier than I've ever felt. Then, she let go wasting the last of her strength, suddenly, my baby was gone.
     
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  17. GrahamLewis

    GrahamLewis Let me chew on your criticism a bit.

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    Poignant.

    I'm left wondering if it was a newborn baby or the last gesture of a dying adult. If it was a baby I'd suggest making it more clesr, something like, "She grabbed my finger with her tiny hand, making me happier than I've ever felt." Just a suggestion.
     

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