I think this is the right section for this. The characters themselves are fine, it's my narrative that needs work. I've hit a snag that is causing readers to assume the plot is doing one thing, when it's really another. I broke it! *ahem* There's a piece of dialogue in one of my scenes that sounds perfectly normal and not suspicious at all in my head, because it's par for the course of how me and my friends interact. We're all full of shit and we know it. Jack has no intention of killing Nicky, nor does Alison have any reason to think he might. He is going to kill somebody, but she's got no reason to suspect that either. Somehow, I have failed to display this conversation as banter, two friends teasing each other. Based on the feedback I've gotten, this scene reads like Alison actually wants Nicky dead. (She doesn't.) At the moment, I can't see how to fix it without force-feeding... which would not be fixing it at all. I could just say The girl gasped in manufactured horror at the joke. but that feels an awful lot like slamming it down my readers' throats. If I tell you it's a joke, it's not funny anymore, right? Or I could describe how Alison perceives Jack, but the story's not from her point of view. How do I get into another character's head without leaving my MC? *gasp* Are the giggles not enough?