Do you ever have an idea or thought that barges into your head and scares you with just how far it goes? I went to the hand car wash at the bottom of our street yesterday, you know, the ones where you stay in the car and some guy sprays it down, then him - or another guy - jet washes it, then another one sprays it with foam, and another sponges it and another rinses it ... well, I have this habit of always locking my car doors if I'm stood in traffic, or going through a car wash/drive through on my own because you just never know who's about ... so my doors were locked, but when the guy sprayed all my car windows with foam, I got this sudden vision that, any one (or more) of his co-workers could get in my car and do things to me while the foam spraying guy sprayed away, and NO ONE WOULD KNOW! How I didn't have a panic attack there and then, is a total mystery to me. But I'm saving that thought for a later story!
As I see it, there are two categories of scary stuff that I come up with. Scary things that happen to me. and scary things that I inflict upon others. My cousin likes to drive fast, though he’s a good driver, he is substantially more scared for the well-being of his car than his own. Whenever I ride with him, though it doesn’t have to be his car, I imagine the car crashing directly into a wall of concrete. In slow motion, I imagine how the bonnet turns to accordion, and I fly towards the wall. First my nose, then forehead, press into the wall, turning bone to utter mush, and pieces of brain scater away from the epicentre. Although, if this had really happened and it was slow enough for me to be comprehend, there is no doubt that I’d be scared, no matter how gruesomely I imagine it, it doesn’t scare me. When it comes to the other category, it’s very existence scares me, I don’t need to employ imagination. Though I occasionally do.
Being alone. Not all that exciting around here, and not much of anyone is really all that intimidating. So only a true horror of being trapped within ones own thoughts.
sometimes this has happened to me. it was more common when I was younger than it is today. Could be I am less imaginative than I once was or it could just be that life experiences have made me calmer and harder to rattle.
I'm not sure I understand your scary idea. Your doors are locked, so what could anyone do? Break your windows? Then someone would probably know. Or do you mean someone is already inside your car and in the couple of minutes when the foam's covered up all the windows, they'll do something bad to you? I'm not sure either one makes much sense...
Mine is, just as I'm drifting off to sleep, "I wonder what I'd do if I opened my eyes right now and saw....."
Being paralyzed from the chin down. I had this happen once in my life before and the thought of a repeat truly terrifies me.
I think that’s an intrinsic part of every scary idea. It doesn’t make sense, because fear is about loss of reason. However, at the same time, there is some kernel of logic to every fear. There are some good reasons to be wary of tight confined spaces, for instance.
Once in a while, I see, or am in, a normal situation where I realize that I can spontaneously do something horrible (but never would or will). Anything from shoplifting to tripping someone to more gruesome things like driving a sharp point or blade into a person or animal. Maybe it's my inner "story radar" going, trying to figure out a graphic disturbance that would start a short story! Stories are based on disturbances and something unusual going on, after all. "What if?" can be pleasant, thrilling, violent, strange, or anything else, and that's what makes it fun for me. Similarly, I've heard of writing exercises where you can even do this with newspaper headlines or ordinary stuff and people you see. What if that old guy at the street corner has a collection of rare Mongolian artifacts at home? What if that mother of two wants to work at JPL someday and takes community college courses in science and engineering? Stuff like that.
I get what you're saying. But the possibility of something bad happening, however remote, has to be present. No matter how unlikely it was to be in a plane crash, it was a possibility (plus it's unnatural for humans to fly - it's a blessing of technology but we're not born to literally fly). But in the OP's scenario of locked in a car and someone outside could do something to her - that doesn't sound like it's even remotely possible... Unless the scenario really was that someone had hidden himself in her car - but then it wouldn't be related to the car wash because it'd make a lot more sense for the attacker to attack before you pull out of your driveway, or when you're parked in an empty parking lot. Or maybe you're right that I'm being too logical about this. I'm not sure that fears are illogical - the word "logic" doesn't make sense, because fears are logical. That something isn't likely to happen doesn't make the fear illogical. But right now I'm half asleep and I'm failing to come up with another word to describe this... I just know logical/illogical is not the right word.
What I actually had in mind when I said that fears are illogical, is how we respond to them or try to prevent them. For instance, when we see a car on a collision course, the natural reaction would be to freeze, the same when we see threatening people approaching. The body just stiffens. It’s one of many examples of the Stupid Design, a spoiled leftover over from our genetic ancestors. The way I imagine this is that, one of the car washing people gets inside the car, and the others then cover the situation up as it is unraveling.
That's truly one of the scariest parts of being human. There is an evil inside everyone that lays dormant waiting for a trigger to unleash it, but what if we can't control it when it does? Isn't that the test of a good man, one who is capable of evil but when it presents itself is rejected in favor of good? What if these monstrous acts we condemn others for were to be forced upon our consciousness in an irresistible way? The "Heat of the moment" when some primal part of yourself takes control. It's the root of many fears, what if we lose control..and if we're losing control WHO is taking it from us.
Aha, so our reactions to the fears are illogical, but not the fear itself. Ok I can agree with that. Freezing does seem kinda dumb, but we totally do it. I guess we're not natural predators... Freezing seems like a "prey" instinct to me. People stop thinking when they're scared. I'm glad to say I'm usually ridiculously logical when I'm stressed. If I'm freaked out, I tend to deal with the situation, and then once everything's over - then I start crying. I don't seem to freeze much, actually...
Freezing serves a purpose because it can save a person's life. I had to do a seminar about trauma and it involved learning about three responses: flight, fight, or freeze. Freezing wasn't as common, but it helped the person escape the situation in some way. I'd wager it helps with fears, too, especially those that include situations where fighting or running would be a bad idea. I don't typically freeze, but I'm also not all that frightful of much.
Got an example? I believe you that it can sometimes be a good response - but it's rare that people freeze because they know it's the right thing to do, and more often just as a "I can't help it" response. Freezing when you know it's the best idea is good. Freezing just 'cause that's your default whenever you're scared isn't so much.
Unless you have some kind of nerve malfunction, I think it is more than logical to be averse to any kind of harmful situation. Intelligence and rational will not override the need to avoid bodily injury in any given situation. Sense the body is designed poorly, fragile, and receptive to stimuli. So freezing is just an auto response to have if something may be hurtling your way that is intended to puncture you or blow you up. Granted this also applies to people who don't handle some stressful situations where they are also in a vulnerable position. It takes conditioning of the mind to override the response of fear, and face the event while still avoiding the physical harm. A soldier is trained to not run away, but to push into the danger and is given some level of protection should they accrue physical damage as a result of moving into that danger. Similarly we anesthetize people before they undergo a procedure that is unpleasant to avoid them reacting and causing damage to themselves or others while being repaired. Also due to the little fact that under enough extreme discomfort the body will resort to failing and dying, as it is unable to handle the overload of harmful stimuli. Again with mental discipline you can lower that threshold to some degree, but not make it null and void entirely. So the human body is meant to seek pleasurable sensation, and avoid the painful. Hence why most people fear harmful things, unless they are masochistic and deride pleasure in pain, though it is not as common as being in the average group. Things like fearing an animal or bug, or ingrained in our DNA over thousands of years, letting us know that those things are dangerous and to react to them accordingly. The one thing that fear gives a person is to preserve their life, which is the main goal of have the reaction in the first place. Ironically, we enjoy the feeling and thrill of it's effects in a controlled fashion where no actual harm can be caused.
I can only give an anecdotal response because "freeze" is typically found in relation to trauma. Wasps are my main example. Many people have a negative response to these creatures, but freezing is better than trying to run or deciding to take a swats at it. Freezing can keep the thing from landing on you and/or trying to deliver a sting (which can lead to more wasps and it turns into an awful situation). Keeping still and keeping calm are things I have to reiterate to the children I work with on a daily basis because most of them will either try to flee the situation (usually not good though better than going after the creature) or go after it and the last thing I need is to call a parent because they decided to confront the fear and it bit (literally or figuratively) them. Now, they are children and not truly capable of working their way through their fears logically in order to respond appropriately.
It was one of those "mind runs away with you" moments. I have no doubt that it probably would never happen, but every so often my mind goes into "what if ...?" overdrive. What if ... my doors were unlocked, and one of the car washers were a rapist on the run, and he got into my car, while the car was covered in foam, and ... and ... I'm not sure if it's because I'm a writer and just naturally imaginative, or I've learnt over the years that bad things often happen too close to home. I adopted children, which meant doing a course about child sexual abuse awareness. One of my children may have been abused by her birth family, we will never know for sure, but that led to her having pretty strong views about child grooming so when she realised her school friend was being groomed by a so called friend down the road, she went to the police (at 14 years old). The police ended up treating my daughter and her friend like suspects rather than victims with their constant lies and badgering, eventually the guy went to court, and we were sat in the back room with the barristers waiting to be called as witnesses when the guy, who was in court arguing with the judge and threatening his own barrister, admitted what he'd done. He went down for it. The older I've gotten, the closer to my doorstep the bad things seem to be. Don't get me wrong, my life isn't all doom and gloom, but, you know, sometimes my mind just runs away with me.
... my son standing at the bottom of the bed with a knife in his hand because I said no to him earlier ... OMG, why do we do this to ourselves?
I know that on that occasion nothing would have happened to me, mainly because I lock the car doors when I'm alone in any kind of situation (like picking my son up after football at night, going through the drive thru, stood in heavy traffic, darn, I even have my handbag in the driver's footwell so no-once can open the passenger door and steal my handbag (yeah, I know it's not ideal before someone tells me that)) but it was my mind doing that "what if" trick, where all reasoning goes straight out of the window. Like when it's warm, you're in bed, half asleep, and you stick your feet out over the edge of the bed to cool off ... and then you yank them back in just in case the monster under your bed grabs your ankle and drags you into the underworld ...
Oh, I know that feeling! I once went to the library on my way home from work, it was winter, dark, about 5 in the evening, town centre place. Had to walk through an underpass to get from the bus station to the library when a voice called me over. At first I froze but then curiosity got the better of me. I found a woman on the floor, she'd been mugged and pulled to the ground, she was shaking and her arm hurt. I managed to get her to the library where I sat her down and asked one of the librarians to call an ambulance. When the arrived, they started to cut off her coat and jumper sleeve while I held her hand. The attacker had thrown her to the floor with such force, that not only had her arm broken but it had splintered and pierced through the skin. Bone was sticking out and looked like a dog had been chewing it. Ambulance took her (and me) to the hospital where I staid with her, phoned her family, and then waited for her daughter and her mother to arrive. Once they'd arrived, I called my husband, told him not to worry and asked him to pick me up. He did, and on the way home, I told him all about what had happened. Got home, walked through the door and burst into tears. And I'm talking ugly crying. Snot all over, huge great tears and unable to get my breath. Took me an hour to calm down.
@Mink - speaking of wasps, I still remember there was a time when I was camping and I had a cup of Fanta or some soft drink on the table. I watched a wasp fly over, examine the drink, and fall right in. Minutes later, another wasp, same thing happened. And again, and again, and again. By the end, there were maybe 5-8 wasps in that drink, all dead. I remember that last one struggling to climb up the side, its little feet stepping on a corpse trying to get some leverage, and me thinking about the cruelty of nature. Thinking how I could help the wasp out, wondering if I did, would it try to sting me in its agitated state. My fear got the better of me, and I left it to drown. Speaking of a freeze reaction that's actually positive - probably my daughter. She was maybe 9 or 10 months old (she was walking at 10 months). She was playing with the long strings from the blinds and I was on my phone or something, didn't see what she was doing. Then she started going, "Eh. Eh." It wasn't a hysterical cry. It wasn't even a loud or particularly frightened cry. It just sounded like your typical baby's cry. By this point into motherhood, you really don't respond to every cry at lightning speed anymore, so I only looked up a few seconds later. And there she was, with the strings all around her neck, completely entangled. Oh my word, the fright I had at the sight. The clever little thing. She just stood there, going eh eh eh, and waited till I got to her. Not once did she move or struggle, all the way till I got the strings off her. @cutecat22 - that experience with the woman who got mugged sounds horrible. Well done you for keeping calm! My freshest memory of me staying calm till later - actually two such memories - both involved my daughter. Toddlers eh. The first was when she got herself into another bedroom while I was in the lounge and she got her leg stuck between the heater and the wall. It only took me a few seconds to ease her leg out again, but still, took a calm head to know what to do as pulling it straight up obviously wouldn't have worked. The second was when my nanny was late home with my daughter, but she'd left her phone at my place along with her bag. They were 30min late because they went out without the pushchair and my daughter was walking (not even 2.5 at the time. So you know, took a while). I rang my husband, because I needed to talk to someone, tell somebody, and then he instructed me to go walk around the block as it's likely they're close by and nothing's wrong. Oh my, my mind just ran away. My first thought was: did she kidnap my daughter? Then logic got the better of me: her bag's here along with her phone. (the nanny's) So obviously she was gonna come back. She hasn't kidnapped her. My next thought: but what if something happened to the nanny? My daughter's with her - so where's she now? The nanny doesn't have to be deliberately evil. What if a car hit her and then my daughter got lost and and and... Anyway, I took a walk around the block to look for them like my husband suggested. Minutes later, I got a call from the nanny that they just got home (they were just feeding ducks nearby - I must have missed them as I went out). Oh I'd never cried so hard. I just burst into tears the moment I got the call and heard they were home and safe. Then I cried some more for a good 10-15min once I got home. The nanny has got much better about keeping her phone and letting me know where they are since!
I think when kids are concerned, it's like an instant panic rather than something brewing, and you always go straight to the worse case scenario. I lost Laddo in a supermarket when he was 5. He was too big for the trolley and was generally good about holding my hand or onto the trolley, but while I was putting stuff on the conveyor, he just stood to one side of the checkout. I lost him for all of ten seconds before he peeped out at me with a wicked grin on his face, but in that ten seconds, I'd imagined him kidnapped, dead, police called, and what I was going to say at his funeral!
