Hello, all. This is my first post. I've been a "lurker" here for a while now, and in that time I've admired the general spirit of this community. The creative atmosphere on these forums is wonderful, and I'm thoroughly looking forward to becoming a contributor to its growth. Just a brief thank you for helping me evolve as a writer. Now to the subject at hand: my request for assistance with one of my creative pursuits. The following is a general description I've constructed for one of my World of Warcraft role-play characters. The character, Arrodis, is basically a Darth Vader-esq character. I'd like to read your thoughts and opinions on what I've written, in particular, where I can improve; and I'm sure I can improve in many places. Also, if you see any grammatical or spelling errors, don't hesitate to point them out; I won't get offended in the slightest. And, if you want to try your hand at rewriting or restructuring the piece, go for gold; I'd love to see what you can do. Thank you in advance. Here's the description: The events of a dark and twisted past have radically destabilized this once-noble hero into a warped, machine-like alpha predator for the evil among Silvermoon's Magister officialdom. An impassive dominator -- an elite enforcer -- for the machiavellian bishops of Thalassian statolotry is what this broken individual has become. Nothing more. Dealings with him affirm such definition well. To describe his disposition as "chilling", is to greatly understate the truth. A firm sense of distance and soul-piercing stares of cold analysis await all who must endure his sinister and commanding presence. As for his speech, not a word is spoken from his always-obscured face unless completely relevant, and all that is uttered, is powerful, authoritative, curt and devoid of any tones of positivity. Make no mistake, this Elf's social aura demands a dark respect; and threatens all who don't submit. The sight of him reinforces his feel well. His Fel-scared, abnormally hulk-like physique is a dangerous weapon, painstakingly crafted by the rigors of war and the wonders of advanced alchemy. His radiant magical aura, too, is undeniably intense when unsheathed. Its golden illumination is near-blinding. Its power pulsates menacingly, waiting restlessly for the call to immolate without remorse. This Light-wielder easily knows his magic better then most; and many of the dead can attest to this fact. Little else can be stated. Hatred, anger, fury, rage and suffering have utterly supplanted their positive opposites within this tormented warrior of sorrow. There is no forgiveness or mercy; he deals only in absolutes; he rules only by brutality and fear. This Elf has self-medicated to the extreme to cope with great loss; and utterly lost himself in the process.