Share Your First Three Sentences

Discussion in 'General Writing' started by Rumwriter, May 16, 2012.

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How do you start your sentences?

  1. I don't really think about it. It sort of just comes to me.

  2. Little bit of consideration here and there.

  3. I do try and work in some interesting sentence starters.

  4. Sentence starters? That's for the edits.

  5. I don't think 'interesting' sentence starters matter at all.

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  1. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    sci-fi adventure:
    -------------------------------

    It was a three day slingshot around the Earth, and he forgot to pack a damn toothbrush.

    Clayton searched frantically through his carry on, determined to find it somewhere. He was quite certain a good impression didn’t start with fuzzy teeth.
     
  2. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    Oh, I remember this from that other thread where I posted my thing too! Intro buddies! :friend::friend:
     
  3. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    Did I post this before? which thread is that?
     
  4. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    A different one about intros. I remember it vividly because of the toothbrush thing.
     
  5. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    I can't find the thread! Am I going crazy?! What was it called?! AAARGH!! :bigeek::bigeek::bigeek:
    Then, again, we all know I was already crazy. :supertongue::supertongue:
     
  6. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    haha I dunno.. I only wrote that intro like 2 weeks ago so it would have to be within that time frame.
     
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  7. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    It was definitely recent. But I can't seem to find it n my history. Or yours. It's a bit frustrating. I swear I saw it before.
     
  8. zoupskim

    zoupskim Contributor Contributor

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    She was trapped. She needed to get out. The air was too thick, her weapon chaffing her chest.
     
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  9. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    OH OH OH Best opening lines in writing prompts forum.
     
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  10. Oscar Leigh

    Oscar Leigh Contributor Contributor

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    Yes!!! I knew it was the opening line rather than the three lines but I could remember the name! Thank you! :blowkiss::blowkiss:
     
  11. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man or BayView

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    I like it. I like the mix of the outlandish (a space trip) and the mundane (a toothbrush). I really want to know who he'll be meeting in space with fuzzy teeth.

    My only nitpick is the tense. Shouldn't the first sentence end "and he had forgotten to pack a damn toothbrush."? Since we start with him searching through his carry on?

    I get what you're doing with the repetition of the first two sentences but it falls a bit flat for me. I like the third line.
     
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  12. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    Yeah, thank you it does sound much better
     
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  13. Cat Cherry

    Cat Cherry Member

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    Oooh, so much showing-not-telling. That's great. The character is really vivid. Cut your -ly adverb, I think, and the point about past tense vs. past perfect tense is well made, but I really like how you start with motion that develops your character.
     
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  14. Justin Phillips

    Justin Phillips Active Member

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    Thanks, I may stick with it. It really was just something I jotted down as a placeholder to get my opening started. This sci-fi story is going to have humor in it, but I seem to get told that my style comes off as satirical, and this story is definitely not going to be satirical.

    I want my sci fi to feel present and familiar, even though it takes place in the near distant future. (I may have made that term up). It does take place off world, but I don't want the readers to feel like its too alien
     
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  15. Aaron Smith

    Aaron Smith Banned Contributor

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    I woke up from my drunken daze and heard the bones crackle under my car. Fuck. Shit.
     
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  16. Yoav

    Yoav Member

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    I guess that's technically three sentences. I like how this is a relatively controversial opening, and it raises a lot of questions like what the first few sentences in a book are supposed to do. Only thing I'd change is maybe make the swearing words something more unique
     
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  17. Yoav

    Yoav Member

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    This is an early draft of the first few sentences from my novel. Currently I don't have a clue if it's bad or good, but I'm worried it might look really edgy. I took advice from a few random writer tips articles which said a good opening sequence should raise a lot of questions to keep the reader going, so I think I got that right:

    "Michael Gerham was tying the noose by which he was to hang himself. His hands were trembling, yet his mind was almost devoid of any emotion, other than crumbs of fear from what’s to come, crying against the acceptance of the inevitable - his end."
     
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  18. Cat Cherry

    Cat Cherry Member

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    I like the swearing. This sounds like exactly what a lot of people would say in this situation. Granted, I like swearing in general, but I think this is a really great opening.
     
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  19. A.M.P.

    A.M.P. People Buy My Books for the Bio Photo Contributor

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    It was the best of times. It WAS the best of times. Or so my therapist tries to convince me.
     
  20. ace.1991

    ace.1991 Member

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    (A slight re-work from my WIP)

    "She sighed as she sat on the floor of the mess hall and peered out of the window, her nose lightly pressed against the glass as she scanned the darkness outside until she glimpsed it. She stared, eyes strained, trying to make out any kind of detail on the small blue dot, but with no luck
    The Earth was simply too small now."
     
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  21. Mr DC

    Mr DC Member

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    I became addicted to starting a lot of things with dialogue and these are the first three lines of the new story I'm working on.

    "How many times do you think someone opened that safe?"
    "It was locked when we got here."
    "How many times do you think someone opened that safe and locked it just to be a dick?"
     
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  22. Elven Candy

    Elven Candy Pay no attention to the foot in my mouth Contributor

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    Can you tell my why you don't like weather openings? It could be helpful to know! As for the task of milking being tedious: Sarah doesn't share your opinion;).
     
  23. Steerpike

    Steerpike Felis amatus Contributor

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    I think people just view it as...well, OK so that's the weather. So what? On the list of Elmore Leonard's "writing rules" that gets circulated around the internet, the first one is "never open a book with the weather." Whether that was really a rule of his, I have no idea.
     
  24. Mckk

    Mckk Member Supporter Contributor

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    Love it :supergrin:made me chuckle.
     
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  25. doggiedude

    doggiedude Contributor Contributor

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    "Whether the westerly weather would wither the wild wheat was weally westionable," said Will Wheaton
     
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