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  1. RaitR_Grl

    RaitR_Grl Member

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    Showing vs. Telling

    Discussion in 'Character Development' started by RaitR_Grl, Jan 3, 2018.

    So I'm working on an Epic Fantasy novel, and I've come across a problem. In all of the writing reference books I've skimmed through, a bunch say the same thing: Show, don't tell. I get that there are different ways to accomplish this, through the use of dialogue and inner thought, but that's also where I'm stuck.

    Through a good chunk of my story, I plan on having my MC travelling alone, so how can I apply SDT using mostly narration with some inner thought?
     
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    That's a fairly large question. Can you give a specific example of a moment in the story where you're not sure what to do?
     
  3. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    don't take it litteraly some telling is fine , a story that;s 100% showing will be deeply tiresome. I'd say a better rule is show more than you tell .. but even then you need to show the right things (ie those that are setting, plot, character important )

    What it means in a first person perspective is that you don't write 'I was angry' , you show the character being angry (Or upset, scared whatever) through appropriate depiction of their emotions and thoughts
     
  4. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

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    My view of "showing" is that when something is important, you step out at least one layer and demonstrate that thing. Which means that whether something is shown versus told (or, as I rephrase it, demonstrated versus explained) depends on what the message is.

    Which is why I'm asking for an example--it's really hard to discuss generically.
     
  5. GrammarJedi

    GrammarJedi New Member

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    That's basically it. A certain amount of exposition is unavoidable, but if you can find a way to demonstrate what you want to tell your reader, rather than just writing paragraphs worth of explanation, you're better off. You're writing a novel, not an essay.

    Here's an example I pulled from a website on the subject. The first is what JRR Tolkien could have written - telling - and the second is what he actually wrote - showing.

    ‘Frodo was horrified by the landscape – every rock formation reminded him of gravestones and there were foul smells and eerie sights at every turn.’

    ‘The gasping pools were choked with ash and crawling muds, sickly white and grey, as if the mountains had vomitted the filth of their entrails upon the lands about. High mounds of crushed and powdered rock, great cones of earth fire-blasted and poison-stained, stood like an obscene graveyard in endless rows, slowly revealed in the reluctant light.’ - The Two Towers


    Tolkien's actual passage conveys the same information, but it does so in a way which allows the reader, in his imagination, to actually experience it, rather than simply hearing about it. And notice that Tolkein doesn't even have to tell you Frodo's reaction at all; it's simply there in your own reaction. If you must have exposition, do so in a way that brings it to life, rather than merely cataloging info.

    It's the difference between experiencing something, and having someone tell you about them experiencing it. Yes, obviously, you ARE telling the reader about it, but it shouldn't feel as though you are.
     
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  6. Forinsyther

    Forinsyther Member

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    A good way of "showing" something to the reader is using the 'less is more' rule, or focusing more on associations. For example, say the character is entering a spooky part of a forest. Instead of saying something like "As she walked on it started to get darker, the trees were tall and thin, and there were spider webs in sight.' You could show the reader it's spooky with emotion and association instead, so it could read a little more like "As she crept deeper into the wood, she could feel the sun's soft warmth fading away. She felt less than encouraged to carry on, especially when she snapped a branch underfoot, causing the hairs on her arms to erect."

    They're both spooky descriptions, but sentence one relies more on describing a scene for the reader to picture, and you've got to rely on them finding the idea of spider webs and tall trees unnerving. But with sentence two, it describes a scene that the reader can naturally associate with. 'Creeping through' suggests trying to be quiet or remaining unseen, and people might automatically associate that with something unnerving in their own imagination. You're not telling them what's spooky, you're guiding them through a spooky scene and letting them do some of the thinking.

    I really hope this makes sense, and I hope I helped a little :)
     
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  7. big soft moose

    big soft moose An Admoostrator Admin Staff Supporter Contributor Community Volunteer

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    They are also both mostly showing - telling would be writing "it was spooky in the woods"

    Ironically "She felt less than encouraged to carry on" from your second example is a tell - if you are focusing on showing rather than telling (and it isn't always necessary, telling has its place) you want to avoid telling the reader how characters feel instead of showing the experiences that give rise to those feelings
     
  8. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Read first person POV books to see how they did it. The Poisonwood Bible is an excellent example as it has first person POVs from multiple characters. Another example is The Young Elites trilogy which has the main character as a first person POV then slips into third person for some of the chapters when the protagonist is not a first-hand witness in the scenes. Girl on the Train is first person POV with an unreliable narrator, Gone Girl switches between two POV narrators, using the 'gone' girl's diary for much of her narration.
     
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  9. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    Just to echo what the others are saying, you write what she experiences, not what she would tell the reader if it were a friend she was talking to.

    Simple example:
    Telling your friend: "I got a letter from you-know-who today. I haven't opened it yet."

    Showing the reader: Opening the mailbox, I recognized the handwriting before I saw the return address. I inhaled its scent, rubbed it against my cheek, then thought about tearing it up, the bastard! I put it under the other mail in my hand and walked back into the house, setting the whole batch on the end table. I went into the kitchen to get a beer.​
     
  10. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    Can you clarify the connection you're making between first person and telling/showing?
     
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  11. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    My post speaks for itself, I'm not sure what isn't clear about it. It doesn't matter if it is first or third person, showing/telling is not different.

    The book examples were in a separate post, it always helps to see how a successful writer wrote a piece with the things you are looking to learn. Perhaps you mistakenly assumed some conflation of those two posts.
     
  12. BayView

    BayView Huh. Interesting. Contributor

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    It's not clear why you're suggesting reading books in first person. What will the added benefit be from reading first person books?

    ETA: You've added another paragraph, but I still don't follow.

    Oh well. I guess this just be another one of those times we have no idea what the other is saying.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2018
  13. GingerCoffee

    GingerCoffee Web Surfer Girl Contributor

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    From the OP:
    I read that as a first person narrator telling the story.
     

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