I was writing soething before, And I was wondering, is it bad to write the first paragraph of absolute intensenessness and dram, and then do the whole -10 Minutes Earlier- thing?
it could certainly be confusing and annoying to the reader, if not done well enough... do you have a good reason for doing that?...
Sounds like a quick buildup to a huge letdown. Better not to be too clever, just tell a good story. I personally starting with the MC in a quandry and buidling up from there. In your case, why not just start at the 10 minutes earlier?
It would kill the moment for me. Here I am, all excited, wondering what the hell is happening, and wondering if the characters are going to make it...and suddenly I am teleported to ten minutes previous. You could just have one of the characters summarize briefly what the hell happened after that dramatic, intense moment is over. Something like... CONFUSED CHARACTER: What the hell just happened back there? One minute we were doing xyz, and the next, we were running for our lives... LEVEL-HEADED CHARACTER: Seems we pissed off xyz/did xyz. That way, the dramatic moment is not killed off, and we will learn what happened either through dialogue at the end of the moment, or through context clues what happened.
