I just had this idea, and I'd like to know whether it works or not. Any advice is welcome. So this would be added to my current first chapter as the first paragraph: "As he gazed onto the bones of his own arm, Leovigildo struggled to remember all the little moments which had led his life to it's current state. It all probably started one fateful day of autumn. It was a wildly different time. A time of sacrifice and courage, of great deeds and great tragedies. Back then, when Caladria was a land of honor, his people revered and respected him, for he was a known hero, way long before he became a monster". Then, the current first paragraph would tie in pretty well, starting with the sentence "Everything suggested that it would be an exceptional day (Rest of the paragraph here)". So, here's the thing, at no point after this paragraph do I ever suggest something that happens outside of the current scene, so this is the only time I'm giving a sneak peek into the future. Besides, the first sentence doesn't apply to any specific scene that happens later in the story, it could happen at anytime after a specific event, where he gets turned into an undead. Could this work, or would it give a false impression on how the narrative works in the novel? (It's third person limited). Also, I know some of the phrasing might be kind of bad. Don't worry about that, I write in Spanish, so I'm not looking for corrections on how it's written because that's not how it will be once it's actually on the page.
If I'm following this correctly, the paragraph you want to add reveals (or foreshadows) that your character will eventually become undead before "jumping back" to tell the story of how the character became undead. If that's the case, it comes down to whether the reveal is a big deal or not. How will the reader's foreknowledge of the character's fate affect their experience reading a story about the character's fate. The cat is out of the bag, so to speak, so there's no reveal (surprise) to be had. That may or may not be a bad thing... it all depends on what follows it. Whether you mention it again or not is irrelevant. That trick works for minor plot points, but not when the MC is turned into a zombie. That fact that your post makes specific mention that this will only be mentioned once tells me that you hope the reader will forget about it. They probably won't, so you have to ask yourself what giving away the ending (or a major plot point) in the opening lines is supposed to add to the story (such as misdirection). In general, though, I find "navel contemplation," or in this case, "arm contemplation" annoying and off-putting. That's when a character stands around, stares at something, and reflects on their life. Lame sauce in my opinion, but that's just me. ETA: I know you weren't interested in comment on your phraseology, but don't ever write "fateful day." Ever. Of course the day is fateful. If it weren't, you'd be writing about another day.
It happens rather early, he realizes what happened to him at the start of chapter 5 (After a huge time lapse in chapter 4). It's one of the results of the event that kicks the plot forward and stablishes the first goal of the MC. He's a skeleton for all the the novel after that. So it's not a huge reveal, as this isn't the story of how he became a skeleton, rather about what happens with him after that point, in contrast to the happy life that the reader sees in chapter 1. As it happens, he gets turned into an undead, and then buried for several decades. His life obviously has a drastic change of tone after that, because he was a well known nobleman, and from that point onward he can't let anyone see him for what he is, out of fear of getting killed. On the other hand, it's literally only one paragraph of reflection, and then the story starts. Or I can leave where it is, and just start with his pre-undead life and the event that changes everything. If "arm contemplation" isn't that enticing, what would you suggest to trigger a trip through memory lane?. I just think it's a rather nice opening sentence because of how strange it is that someone is looking at his own bones. Like, did he lose a limb or what?. The existence of necromancy isn't brought up until chapter 2, so the lack of context makes it rather ambiguous until you read that part.
I want to hear about the bone and what's happening with that. Is it sticking out? Is he hurt? How bad we talking? Don't make me weight for that. The rest of the paragraph feels heavy and not the same story you just introduced me to with this bone.
What if the first sentence was "As he gazed onto his dead body" or "As he gazed onto his broken ribs"?. Maybe those chnge the tone be more serious all the way through the paragraph. "As he gazed onto his dead body (Decaying bones?), Leovigildo struggled to remember all the little moments which had led his life to it's current state. It all probably started one fateful day of autumn. It was a wildly different time. A time of sacrifice and courage, of great deeds and great tragedies. Back then, when Caladria was a land of honor, his people revered and respected him, for he was a known hero, way long before he became a monster". Does that keep a more consistent tone?.
This is a common framing device. Whether it adds anything to the story is impossible to say without reading the manuscript.
i'd say gazed at not onto - but that aside the principal is fine so long as its something he can reasonably see easily
