Some f**king writing tips from Matt Haig

Discussion in 'Insights & Inspiration' started by MarcT, Feb 15, 2017.

  1. Shenanigator

    Shenanigator Not a Fucking Doormat Contributor

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    The reason many of us, including myself, are fond of the word, is that "fucking" is one of the only words in the English language that can be many different parts of speech without altering the word itself.

    I'm dead serious. Very few words have that many uses and multiple meanings. It can be positive or negative, fun or the polar opposite of fun. "Fucking" can be an adjective or verb. "Fuck" can be a noun or a verb. And it's fun to say.

    A very versatile word indeed.
     
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  2. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor Community Volunteer

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  3. BayView

    BayView Contributor Contributor

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    No warning = BAD REVIEW!!!
     
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  4. Tenderiser

    Tenderiser Not a man Contest Administrator Contributor Community Volunteer

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    You've got more books than me for retaliatory reviews. Just sayin'.
     
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  5. BayView

    BayView Contributor Contributor

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    This could get mean...
     
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  6. jannert

    jannert Member Supporter Contributor

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    I killed the dog, but I didn't kill the cat—although I could have. Does that help?
     
  7. Ohmo

    Ohmo Banned

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    Mr. Haig stated in his opening remarks that he was "bursting to fucking swear" after a six month forced hiatus, yet he produced only two swear words for the entire blog post. Very disappointing from my perspective.

    I have a multi-tool, one of those popular gadgets that fit in a pocket and contain a variety of hand tools - pliers, knives, screwdrivers, wire strippers, wire cutters, and other useful implements one might need in a pinch. Versatile as well as utilitarian it saves me time and frustration when in the yard or just out and about. However, it is not an appropriate tool for projects such as building a house or performing an engine overhaul. Oh, it could be used during those projects, but only infrequently if the job is to be done efficiently. Because my multi-tool is metal, it is completely unsuitable for electrical work - both for the user and for the equipment.

    Fucking dead?! Wow! Sorry to fucking hear that. Were you killed while fucking? That would be a fucking crime. No matter, I enjoy a good fucking wake - when the fuck is it? What a damn fucking shame to lose such a promising fucking etymologist so fucking early in his fucking career.

    Yes, a very versatile word, indeed; it can be stuffed almost any place for shock value, to fill a void, or just to increase word count - but is it very utilitarian? As can be seen, the word or it's derivatives don't offend me very much, but repeated use of the same word can be very extremely boring and is frequently said to be a very bad habit for writers. A quick 'net search found one source that listed 138 synonyms for "fuck" and another source displayed 17 synonyms for "fucking".

    Although the tips in the blog post were appropriate, the swearing was repetitive and unimaginative, which led to the question, "Are his novels any good?". It isn't just that author, though. And did anyone read the comments? Did I fall asleep and wake up generations later when the only two words writers use to swear are "fuck" and "shit"?

    I was so hoping any comments on my post would be positive perspectives on the fucking humor. Well, ain't that the shit.
     
  8. big soft moose

    big soft moose All killer, no filler. Contributor Community Volunteer

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    I shot the sheriff, but I did not kill the deputeee
     
  9. Ziggy.

    Ziggy. Member

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    I think Fuck is the most versatile word in the English language. Angry? Fuck off. Annoyed? Fuck sake. Horny? Fuck me! Apathetic? Who gives a fuck? As the great Billy Connolly once said: "Fuck off is such a lovely pair of words. It's international. I don't care where you are--if somebody's fuckin' with your bags at Lasa airport in Tibet, and he's got a shaven head and saffron clothes on. And you say 'Hey, fuck off!' He knows exactly what you meant."
     
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  10. S A Lee

    S A Lee Contributor Contributor

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    On the conversation on dogs dying, I saw the scene in the Marley & Me movie where Marley the lab was being put down while working at a cinema. I all but ran out of the auditorium crying because it reminded me of my own dog being put down several years before (the one I touched on when the next dog died last year) so I don't think I could cope with it.

    Other than that, good advice, if a little terse :p
     

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