Crime for me is a metaphor for freedom. It is embracing of the possibility that I can create beyond the strictures of good and bad. This is the first full length narrative I am writing. I have written some stories, scenes, and poems before this. This is my attempt to reach out to something larger. I started amidst of a really bad time. Nothing had been going on for long and there seemed no hope in the future. I had been toying with the idea of writing something bigger but I did not feel confident at all. The drive was there. The skill wasn't. I decided I will run with this idea I have for a story. I did not know what form it'd take, I did not have any finality in my mind. I began thinking that I will take this to a conclusion, no matter what. It has been more than three years since I started in February of 2017. Seems like such a long time ago. Maybe I will tell the rest of it in posts to come. For now, I should get to this story I am writing. I feel a part of me is there in all the main characters I am writing. The protagonist is confused, wonders about possibilities and does not seem to want to decide for himself. The antagonist is someone powerful, in control, in charge, has a vision, a future planned and he needs the protagonist to acquisce to his demands. He would end up doing exactly as he is told without the interference of the femme fatale, the exotic dancer. She is the muse. And she is in the shadows. The play writing is to bring her to light. So, she does her thing, she provokes our protagonist in many many ways and gives him a glimpse of what it could be like to look at the world from beyond good and bad. But the protagonist can't be free just yet. He has a family to go to, to which he has been thoroughly dedicated all life long. But he is not valued, not seen for who he is. Drama in the second act unfolds and our protagonist finds himself unhinged from the shackles of middle class morality. Finally we come to the face off with the blackmailer and the protagonist finds a familiar face with the blackmailer. The blackmailer reveals his true intentions and the are more humiliating than the earlier blackmail. The blackmailer wanted to teach him a lesson. The protagonist reconsiders his options and kills the blackmailer in cold blood. A lot of aspects of this are uncertain. I am creating this journal to think out loud about my concerns and record my progress. Comments, suggestions, questions are welcome.