1. SlowToShow

    SlowToShow Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    3

    Grammar Help with finding a different sentence structure.

    Discussion in 'Word Mechanics' started by SlowToShow, Feb 20, 2017.

    I don't like the verb "to be" in these sentences, and I'm trying to find some variants.

    My goal is to be a firefighter.
    I want to be a doctor.

    The goal is to keep the sentences short. Any advice?
     
    Last edited: Feb 20, 2017
  2. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    First question: Why don't you like "to be"? Did someone tell you (incorrectly) that it was passive voice? In those sentences, it absolutely isn't.

    The "to be" here is the simplest, most straightforward, shortest way to express the thought. So can you tell us what other goals you have for the sentence?

    (If the issue is that you have an idiot English teacher who insists that "to be" is always bad and will mark you down...well, I'll wait and see if that's the issue.)
     
    BayView likes this.
  3. SlowToShow

    SlowToShow Member

    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2017
    Messages:
    34
    Likes Received:
    3
    This's all me. I'm trying to feel what emotion my sentences give, and these don't seem to fit. The "is to be a" annoys me some. Doesn't mean I'm correct, but the secondary goal is to develop range with basic sentence structure and I haven't thought of any alternatives.
     
  4. ajaye

    ajaye Senior Member

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2017
    Messages:
    283
    Likes Received:
    225
    Location:
    Australia
    Hmm, I can't really think of an alternative except 'become'. To add emotion I'd be looking earlier, such as -
    I'm desperate to be a firefighter.
    I'm driven to become a doctor.
     
  5. ChickenFreak

    ChickenFreak Contributor Contributor

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2010
    Messages:
    15,262
    Likes Received:
    13,084
    My life goal is to serve the public as a firefighter.
    Firefighting has always attracted me as a profession.
    I've always thought that firefighters serve the public in a uniquely valuable way, and for that reason I would like to join their ranks.
    I would like to work for Fire and Rescue in my town.
    I would like to work as a firefighter.

    However, they're all longer than the originals.
     
  6. SethLoki

    SethLoki Retired Autodidact Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 1, 2011
    Messages:
    1,566
    Likes Received:
    1,655
    Location:
    Manchester UK
    If it's dialogue could you deformalise/slacken the way it comes across? It'd keep it short.

    "Firefighting's my ambition."
    "A doctor—that's my goal."
     
    SlowToShow, ajaye and ChickenFreak like this.
  7. Homer Potvin

    Homer Potvin A tombstone hand and a graveyard mind Staff Supporter Contributor

    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2017
    Messages:
    12,137
    Likes Received:
    19,761
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    I think you're going to have a lot trouble keeping anything simple without the verb "to be." They kind of invented that one for simplicity's sake. Might be better to accept it and move on... just saying.
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice